Now, this is a hoot. "Bureau of Missing Socks"...that sounds like a headline in THE ONION!
This is a fun thread! A year ago, if you'd told me that I would be responding to a thread about socks today, I'd have told you to lay off smokin' your Easter basket.
Just for you, Patrick, this is from the previous thread on socks

:
EPISTLE TO THE LADIES.
From camp, "W. E. M." of Gen. Lee's
army, writes the following.
Ye Southern maids and ladies fair.
Of whatsoe'r degree,
A moment stop—a moment spare,
And listen unto me.
The summer's gone, the frosts have come,
The winter draweth near,
And still they march, to [text is unclear] and drum,—
Our armies!—do you hear?
Give heed then to the yarn I spin,
Who says that it is coarse?
At your fair feet I lay the sin,
The thread of my discourse.
To speak of shoes, it boots not here,
Our Q. M's., wise and good,
Give cotton calf-skins twice a year.
With soles of cottonwood.
Shoeless we meet the well-shod foe,
And bootless him despise;
Sockless we watch, with bleeding toe,
And him sockdologize!
Perchance our powder giveth out?
We fight them, then with rocks,
With hungry craws we craw-fish not,—
But, Miss, we miss the socks.
Few are the miseries that we lack
And comforts seldom come;
What have I in my haversack?
And what have you at home?
Fair ladies then, if nothing loth,
Bring forth your spinning-wheels;
Knit not your brow,—but knit to clothe
In bliss our blistered heels.
Do not you take amiss, dear miss,
The burden of my yarn;
Alas! I know there's many a loss!
That doesn't care a darn.
But you can aid us, if you will,
And heaven will surely bless,
And Foote will vote to foot a bill
For succoring our distress.
For all the socks the maids have made.
My thanks, for all the brave,
And honored be your pious trade,
The soldiers sole to save.