Vegan Pumpkin Pie
One carton of 10.8oz Mori-Nu firm or extra firm silken tofu (or really, use any type of tofu. No one cares). Press the tofu to remove some extraneous water. Or don't, it's your pie. I used to do this until I grew old & lazy. Mori-Nu is shelf stable, so you'll find it out of the refrigerated section of your market.
Whole can of pure pumpkin, the 15oz jobber, or better yet, go find a real pumpkin, slice it open, remove the slimy innards & set aside, cut the pumpkin pieces into whatever size you want, then boil or bake 'em till sorta mushy. Sorta. This isn't a watery grave or slip 'n slide.
Hi thee to your vegan cream cheese tub, & scoop out half the container. I like Kite Hill, which is 8oz, so just take out 4oz. It'll be ok, I promise.
Do you have any Cardamom? Cinnamon? Ground Clove? It's ok to admit you have All Spice only. I'm not judging. It's an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, & antiseptic, good for infections & pain. Of course you'd have to snort several grams of it to make any kind of difference to your life, but you be you.
Brown sugar is an idea, too. As is our Vanilla extract. And Olive oil. Salt pinches. Whatever the universe calls to you to be in this pie, go get it then put it in.
Have you a blender? A Cuisinart? Anyone bored in the vicinity who likes to whip things around? Offer NOT to give them any of this pie, & that should be bribe enough.
Take everything above (except for the innards) & blend it creamy. Blend some more. The cream cheese will hang on for its life. Speak to it gently, assure it a good afterlife. Blend more.
Did you forget to turn the oven on? Good job, we all do. Put it at 425. After 15 minutes, slake it down to 375 (after pie has been in). Put tinfoil over it. No, not the oven, the pie. I forgot to mention you'll want a pie crust.
Any kind will do, unless you're one of these fragile little snowflakes & only *pecan* will do. Fine. Now, if you want, take the SIDES of the crust off of the pie crust (so all that's left is the graham bottom). Gather in a bowl. Add Macadamia nuts & Olive oil. Use your common sense. It's not enough nuts for Grant's Army, ok? Just a handful. Sheesh
Sorry, for this you really will need a mode of chopper. If lacking, place nuts in a baggie, take outside, place on pavement, then bring a hammer down up on them until itty bitty bits. Blend until smooth with crust & olive oil. Or whatever oil.
By now, you've poured the pie mix into the pie crust container, no? Well, do that now, thanks. Spread the aforementioned mix with the nuts atop the pie prior to shoving the pie into the oven. Bake for however long the universe abides. After about an hour, remove tinfoil so the topping can go a tinge crispy.
Now, did you want roasted pumpkin seeds? Go ahead, clean 'em of slime then roast 'em however you see fit. Personally, I wouldn't, I'd give 'em to the squirrels. Enjoy your pie, & you can freeze what you don't eat now.
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. It's seriously the best pie I ever made & I sat & ate half. I could have kept going. Naturally when I try to replicate what I did next time, it'll come out opposite or something 
Bringing the