Grant They slept in the same bed, whenever possible.

[wausaubob]

I was glancing through some online biographical material on Julia Grant. The material boasted that Mr. and Mrs. Grant always slept in the same bed, when they could.
Although I am skeptical of online material, the boast is consistent with what we know about the relationship between the two of them.
Grant had Julia close at hand, whenever it was safe for her. And the general's staff preferred it that way.
In ways that are hard to describe, they were 150 years ahead of their times.
And this note is the mere tip of the Julia Grant iceberg.
If she could transform from a slave holder to the wife of the main civil rights president in the first one hundred years after the Civil War, the inability of the nation to make the necessary transition appears weak.

 

[LoriAnn]

And this note is the mere tip of the Julia Grant iceberg.

Author Carol Berkin featured Julia along with Varina Davis and Angelina Grimke Weld in Civil War Wives.

She also gave a great talk on her book, and at one point mentioned that her daughter jokingly referred to Julia as "Julia the ditz". That little bit of humor was understandable when you compared her to the other two women. According to what Berkin wrote about her, Julia didn't come off as a deep thinker.

Yet, Berkin pointed out, Julia was the one who managed to have a happy marriage, happy family, and happy life. So really it would be easy yet perhaps a mistake to not realize there was more to her.

 

[wausaubob]

I take it she was not a deep thinker. But she was a great wife. Learned to manage household finances. And was an intrepid traveler, during the Civil War and after the Presidency. She could adjust quickly to changing circumstances, and could throw a great party.
And she got the last laugh.

 

[LoriAnn]

I worded that carefully.

Personally, I'm not too quick to label someone a "ditz". (I'm using that term in a good natured fashion, by the way.)

There are people who are very smart and show it.

Then there are people who are very smart in a quiet way. Their "smarts" may lie as strengths in other areas. For example, handling people. You can be the smartest dude evah, but if you don't know how to get along with other people, good luck. Life is gonna be harder than it needs to be.

I suspect Julia knew how to read people and how to get along. She was probably incredibly "clever" 1000 times over in subtle, quiet ways.

 

[wausaubob]

There must have been some greatness in her.
1. She recognized that Ulysses Grant was a very smart guy, and believed her brother when he said Grant was pure gold.
2. It wasn't easy going back and forth between New Jersey and City Point from June 1864 and April 1865. She did it well.
3. She never descended to Mrs. Lincoln's level, of attacking the generals' wives who happened to be at City Point or responded in kind to Mrs. Lincoln's attacks.

 

[diane]

Kind of interesting to note that they slept together in the same bed - wasn't considered proper back in the day, at least for a certain class. The Grants figured they'd come up in the world all right but some things were going to stay the same! You know, people rack up Jackson's oddities but tend to forget Grant's - one of them was being the only fellow in a big bed. One time he went to Washington, got a nice hotel room with a big soft bed...but his two aides were bunking on the floor. So, he threw back the covers and told them to get in - he felt like he was swimming in an ocean!

Julia Grant was smart - not brilliant - but smart. She may not have been one for lots of brains but Grant didn't feel he had many himself! Very modest guy - we all know he had to have a few, after all...

 

[amweiner]

I suppose some of it boils down to how we define "smart". Personally, I look at intelligence as the ability to creatively solve problems, to find solutions that work for you. In that sense, I think Julia Grant was downright brilliant.

You can be the smartest dude evah, but if you don't know how to get along with other people, good luck.

Very, very true, @LoriAnn! I have two really bright nephews, but one of them thinks it gives him permission to treat people rudely as he thinks others are "beneath" him. I try to remind him that without a heart, intelligence is a wasted asset.

 

[diane]

Julia had a great sixth sense, too. When she noticed some creepy guy following her around and watching the kids, she insisted Grant leave Washington...and not go to the play with the Lincolns... She also insisted he lock the train doors. He said it wasn't necessary as there was a guard outside, but she just about had a fit about it. Ok, we lock the doors. A few days after Lincoln was killed, Grant got a mysterious unsigned note saying the writer had been selected to kill him (Grant) but was unable to open the doors on the train.

 

[Southern Unionist]

I suppose some of it boils down to how we define "smart".

And also... if a female in 1860 was a natural born genius, how would we know it? They had no opportunities to prove it. Same was true of black men.

 

[wausaubob]

Julia had a great sixth sense, too. When she noticed some creepy guy following her around and watching the kids, she insisted Grant leave Washington...and not go to the play with the Lincolns... She also insisted he lock the train doors. He said it wasn't necessary as there was a guard outside, but she just about had a fit about it. Ok, we lock the doors. A few days after Lincoln was killed, Grant got a mysterious unsigned note saying the writer had been selected to kill him (Grant) but was unable to open the doors on the train.

She had sized up the security situation in Washington very well. She and David Porter were cognizant of the risk. And she was equally afraid that Ulysses would leave her alone with Mrs. Lincoln.

 

[Cavalry Charger]

I believe she also had 'premonitions' which she shared with others. These came often in the form of dreams. As I am a spiritual person, I have no problem believing this, and that things are often 'purposed' which would account for her and Grant's meeting in the first place. Julia Grant held her husband up in so many ways...and in that sense held the country up in the end, too. I am a great admirer of this small, diminutive, cross-eyed woman...just like her husband

 

[KansasFreestater]

I was glancing through some online biographical material on Julia Grant. The material boasted that Mr. and Mrs. Grant always slept in the same bed, when they could.
Although I am skeptical of online material, the boast is consistent with what we know about the relationship between the two of them.
Grant had Julia close at hand, whenever it was safe for her. And the general's staff preferred it that way.
In ways that are hard to describe, they were 150 years ahead of their times.
And this note is the mere tip of the Julia Grant iceberg.
If she could transform from a slave holder to the wife of the main civil rights president in the first one hundred years after the Civil War, the inability of the nation to make the necessary transition appears weak.

Isn't it kind of weird that historians make some sort of a big deal out of the fact that a man and his wife slept in the same bed? I mean, I would think it's weird if they didn't. I've always wondered, what's with those separate bedrooms in the White House? Maybe its just me....

 

[diane]

She had sized up the security situation in Washington very well. She and David Porter were cognizant of the risk. And she was equally afraid that Ulysses would leave her alone with Mrs. Lincoln.

There were sure plenty of rumors and worrisome things going on. She and Rawlins wife had lunch together and were watched by a group of men who later turned out to be the conspirators. Booth himself had ridden past a carriage containing Grant and Julia, then came back to stick his mean face right into the buggy and glare at Grant! Grant simply looked back and Booth rode on - Grant said he didn't particularly like the look on that guy's face. Julia said, we're getting out of Dodge, Ulyss....

 

[KansasFreestater]

Without a heart, intelligence is a wasted asset.

I love that. So true. I am adding that to my "inspirational quotations" file.

 

[wausaubob]

Isn't it kind of weird that historians make some sort of a big deal out of the fact that a man and his wife slept in the same bed? I mean, I would think it's weird if they didn't. I've always wondered, what's with those separate bedrooms in the White House? Maybe its just me....

I think it was not the norm for wealthy people back then. It was more of a western, frontier trend.

 

[KansasFreestater]

Julia had a great sixth sense, too. When she noticed some creepy guy following her around and watching the kids, she insisted Grant leave Washington...and not go to the play with the Lincolns... She also insisted he lock the train doors. He said it wasn't necessary as there was a guard outside, but she just about had a fit about it. Ok, we lock the doors. A few days after Lincoln was killed, Grant got a mysterious unsigned note saying the writer had been selected to kill him (Grant) but was unable to open the doors on the train.

One small correction: The Grant kids were up in Philly, and both their mom and their dad were eager to see them -- another reason that neither the general nor Julia were eager to stay in Washington another night.

 

[wausaubob]

If the little internet bio was correct, big if, it is just another piece that shows that these people were in love.
Their marriage and their family life became something that the country could rely on.
When it came time to do something that the politicians might not like, as in letting the Vicksburg parolees go to the parole camps, having confidence that his wife would agree that he done the right thing by the Confederate soldiers, gave him that little extra confidence that he needed.

 

[wausaubob]

Julia was instrumental during Grant's presidency in the return of normalcy.
People from all over the country, could party together even if they were going to argue over business during the week.
Rhetoric and ballots were going to decide the big issues, not bullets and Dahlgrens.
It was a huge step forward.

 

[amweiner]

And also... if a female in 1860 was a natural born genius, how would we know it? They had no opportunities to prove it. Same was true of black men.

Or at least for history to notice it, huh? It reminds me of the letters Abigail Adams would write to John, and it was pretty darn clear which one was the smarter of that pair. Part of her genius, I think, was letting him think he was smarter....or is that my marriage I'm talking about? I definitely agree that it was so much harder for women and African-Americans to be noticed for their merits, though, and sometimes I wonder what strengths the country missed out on seeing.

 

[diane]

One small correction: The Grant kids were up in Philly, and both their mom and their dad were eager to see them -- another reason that neither the general nor Julia were eager to stay in Washington another night.

Yes! Thanks - those were Rawlins kids.