Grant They slept in the same bed, whenever possible.

And also... if a female in 1860 was a natural born genius, how would we know it? They had no opportunities to prove it. Same was true of black men.
Natural born genius for a woman in 1860: communicate effectively with her husband, knowing when to challenge him, tolerance of his humanity without being submissive, making everyone feel valuable, including the blacks, and being able to learn from others. Emotional stability.
This person, in particular, thought she had earned the right to be first lady, and she got it.
 
There must have been some greatness in her.
1. She recognized that Ulysses Grant was a very smart guy, and believed her brother when he said Grant was pure gold.
2. It wasn't easy going back and forth between New Jersey and City Point from June 1864 and April 1865. She did it well.
3. She never descended to Mrs. Lincoln's level, of attacking the generals' wives who happened to be at City Point or responded in kind to Mrs. Lincoln's attacks.

She stayed with Grant despite all his previous failures. I think many modern women today would have gone where they think the grass was greener.
 
Arranged marriages.

Lots of that - business deals quite often. Get together to make the heir and a spare, smile when there's company and that's it! A lot of just plain folks had arrangements similar - I'm a widower with three kids, you're a widow with three kids, I need a housekeeper, you need a provider - how about it? Do you drink and beat up your wife and kids? Not too much. All right, we've got a deal...what's your name again?

Then sometimes it was a practical matter. Lincoln slept in a whole separate bedroom from Mary. They'd tried just separate beds but rooms turned out to be the best. He kept getting up and pacing all night long. The Lees had separate beds but not rooms - that was because of her arthritis. If your mate's a violent sleeper, separation is a requirement - Lee flipped around like a burger on a grill!
 
I suppose some of it boils down to how we define "smart".

Thanks for making this point. There are many kinds of intelligence. Some school systems in NC (and probably other states too) have actually acknowledged this by replacing the title, "academically gifted" with "gifted and talented." I think Julia was clearly intelligent, but it's quite obvious she was gifted and talented in lots of other ways. I have always tried to live by the old adage, "Folks don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

I believe she also had 'premonitions' which she shared with others.

Thanks for making this point. I think we too often discount the notion of a "feeling" a person can get about something. For example, I think General Longstreet had a "feeling" that Pickett's charge would fail and I think Julia Grant probably had a feeling that her husband was in danger. That doesn't mean there wasn't signs one could have noticed along the way. To me it just means they picked up on them. In other words, they got a "feeling." I can tell you now that if I get a feeling I'm not safe, I high tail it and ask questions later!

Isn't it kind of weird that historians make some sort of a big deal out of the fact that a man and his wife slept in the same bed?

I have had the pleasure of touring many antebellum homes in the South and in most cases the tour guide always points out that the husband and wife slept in separate rooms (often adjoining). A few have even said it was because our ancestors didn't think a man could (yep, that's what they said) refrain from sex with his wife if they shared a bed. In other words, separate rooms were a form of birth control. Apparently females in the 1800's were vixens in disguise. :sneaky:
 
I have had the pleasure of touring many antebellum homes in the South and in most cases the tour guide always points out that the husband and wife slept in separate rooms (often adjoining). A few have even said it was because our ancestors didn't think a man could (yep, that's what they said) refrain from sex with his wife if they shared a bed. In other words, separate rooms were a form of birth control. Apparently females in the 1800's were vixens in disguise. :sneaky:
Learn something every day....
 
And this note is the mere tip of the Julia Grant iceberg.
I'm thinking "iceberg" is not quite the word for Julia, given the subject of the thread.... :D

And while I'm at it, I just want to congratulate @LoriAnn for keeping her thoughts G-rated on this thread. Obviously, she's doing a better job of it than I am!
 
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OK, Lori, let me throw you a challenge. Can you actually read this line from the OP with a straight face?
Grant had Julia close at hand, whenever it was safe for her.
Dang it, woman! :laugh: I am trying to behave here!

(Actually, I'm not behaving at all. I'm currently photoshopping Braxton Bragg's eyebrows on people.)
You've corrupted me, LoriAnn.
You're very welcome. :smug:
 
I'm currently photoshopping Braxton Bragg's eyebrows on people.
OK, we've had "Best Beard" voting contests here, and the "Best Hair" contest is under way right now.
Do you suppose the next hair contest is going to be "Best Eyebrows"?
Ah, but maybe it would be pointless. After all, is there anyone who could beat Braxton Bragg?
Only if Groucho Marx had been a Civil War general, I suppose!
 
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