Humor

[8thvacav]

Capt. Sheffey of the 8th Va. Cav. Diary and Letters
"Soldiers of Southwestern Virginia" Edited by James Robertson

Capt. Sheffey said,he survived his initial meeting with the Federals gave him a momentary macabre sense of humor: One of the [wounded] Yankees lived more than a day with his brains shot out, conclusive evidence that they can get along almost as well with out [brains] as with them. :beer:

 

[sgtcsa]

LOL.......Nothing else need be said, that, was a good one, even if it was at the Yanks expense. Way to go, 8th. So, come on you Yanks, break out what humor you can muster, and show us what you got, that is, unless you have no jocularity, and that's not true, for I know you must have some, because one of y'all is always saying something funny, even if it's not intentional.

Respectfully,
SgtCSA.....:laugh2:

 

[johan_steele]

How is this, though hardly macabre. One CS soldier from Texas who managed to get himself captured in the fighting around Atlanta took up the offer to become "galvanized" and served the US against the plains tribes. In his elder years he succesfully applied for a pension from both the US and his home state. He was an active member in the SCV and member of the GAR. Apparently proud of his service in both armies he watched his descendents jointhe USMC to serve in every war of the 2oth century.

 

[unionblue]

During the fall of Vicksburg, Mississippi in 1863, captured Confederate soldiers were being guarded by Union soldiers from Ohio.

Noticing the Union soldiers belt plates, one Confederate asked a Union guard, "Hey Yank! What's the letters OVM (Which stood for Ohio Volunteer Militia) stand for on your belt?"

The yank, being somewhat of a jokester, replied, "It stands for Ohioians Visiting Mississippi!"

Unionblue

 

[bill_torrens]

Surprising, indeed, to its administrators must have been the result of 'the oath', forced upon one green cavalryman, before he could return to family and farm. Swallowing the obnoxious allegiance, he turned to the Federal officer and quietly asked:

'Wail, an' now I reck'n I'm loyil, ain't I?'

'Oh yes! You're all right,' carelessly replied the captor.

'An' ef I' loyil, I'm same as you uns?' persisted the lately sworn. 'We're all good Union alike, eh?'

'Oh, yes', the officer humored him. 'We're all one now.'

'Wail then,' rejoined Johnny Reb slowly, 'didn't them darned rebs just geen us hell sometimes?'

 

[hawglips]

George Levy wrote in "To Die In Chicago" regarding the experience of the Confederate POWs there.

It seems that there was one Lt. in the Union garrison stationed there with a pet dog that roamed around the camp. Unfortunately, one day the dog came up missing. So the good Lt. posted a concerned notice around the camp, inquiring of the dogs whereabouts.

Well, the POWs were accustomed to eating the plentiful camp vermin to supplement their scanty camp rations, so a small well-nourished dog was evidently too tempting a morsel to ignore.

So, in response to the inquiry into the missing beloved pet, a poet among the POWs wrote a reply on the good Lt.'s notice:

"For lack of bread, that dog is dead,
For want of meat, that dog was eat."

Hal

 

[samgrant]

Following Jackson's death, Moses Johnson was attached to Lee's staff . As plans unfolded for an invasion of the North, Johnson suggested to Lee that he enlist all the free blacks that they should come across in the northern states. This plan, like the rest Lee's plans that summer, turned out to be a total disaster. Disappointed that other free blacks had not followed him into the Confederate army, Johnson accompanied the Army of Northern Virginia northward to the small town of Gettysburg. Following two days of fierce fighting, Lee ordered the massive, but suicidal, attack that ended with the bloody repulse of Pickett's division. Riding forth to console his beaten forces, Lee remarked: "This was all my fault"; to which Moses Johnson unhesitantly replied: "**** right! Gen'l Lee, what de hell wuz you thinkin'."

********************************************************

At Chickamauga:
Polk got Bragg out of bed to report that the Federal army was in full flight and could be destroyed before Rosecrans had a chance to throw up adequate defenses. But Bragg, said an aide who was present, "could not be induced to look at it in that light, and refused to believe that we had won a victory."

Bragg's generals produced a Confederate soldier who had been captured and then had escaped. He had seen the Federal disarray for himself and was brought before Bragg to testify that the enemy was indeed in full retreat. Bragg would not accept the man's story. "Do you know what a retreat looks like?" he asked, acidly. The soldier stared back and said: "I ought to, General: I've been with you during your whole campaign."

 

[FSPowers]

Quoted from: They Called Hin Stonewall by Burke Davis,

"In the wreck of a train was a middle-aged Washington politican who injured a leg in the crash. Captain William Oates of an Alabama regimant was near by to write: 'He was laid upon the ground near a fire. He inquired who we were, and when informed he expressed a desire to see Stonewall Jackson. I pointed out Jackson to him, who just then stood on the opposite side of the fire. He requested to be raised, which was done. He surveyed the great Confederate general in his dingy gray uniform, with his cap pulled down on his nose, for half a minute, and then in a tone of dissappointment and disgust exclaimed, 'O my God! Lay me down!' It was a cry which echoed through the army for the next few days."

I could just imagine the laughter in the camps when that story was told.

BTW, that might be the same William Oates who led the charge up LRT a year later. This account was just prior to Second Manassas.

 

[ole]

Some years back at a Round Table Seminar, one speaker related the following approximate story told by a grandfather who said it was told to him by his grandfather:

As young lad in the Blue Ridge country, my Grandfather took me to the capital -- I don't rememeber why. Now, you have to remember, my Grandfather hated anything to do with Yankees. He wouldn't go to a church that had Yankees in the congregation, he wouldn't read a Yankee newspaper, and I believe he went to bed every night cursing Yankees.

While we were wandering the streets and looking at monuments and statues and such, he would hold forth about this villain or that scoundrel. At the Washington Monument we happened upon a poor wretch in a dark blue blouse of obvious military style. The beggar was in wretched condition -- one leg, one arm, one eye, and a face that looked like he'd been kicked by several horses.

To my surprise, grandpa gave the man a $5 goldpiece for which the man was more than grateful. I asked grandpa why -- seeing as how he hated Yankees so much. He said, "Wal, son, that's the first Yankee I've seen shot up entirely to my satisfaction!"

Ole

 

[johan_steele]

A deserter entered a USCT camp to surrender himself (apparently not knowing it was a USCT camp) the Sgt of the guard recognized the man as the former master of perhaps a dozen of the men. After convincing his Colonel of his intent; in a fit of ironic humor he gathered all of the men and held a mock slave auction. The man was sold to the highest bidder, near to thirty dollars. His clothing was divied up among the small group who had pooled their coin to "buy" him and he was presented clothing more fitting to one of his former slaves. Their "slave" was given such delightful tasks as filling old sinks and digging new ones... When a sizeable enough group of prisoners was gathered for the trip north to Rock Island the men joked that they had sold him up the river.

To make the irony still more interesting... the man arrived in Rock Island to find the prison staffed by more USCT men.

 

[traveller]

I have always found this amusing. Some of the fiercest fighting at Gettysburg took place at the cemetery near town. The sign on the arched gateway read. "All persons found using firearms on these grounds will be prosecuted with the utmost rigor of the law." That must have caused a chuckle amongst the troops. Lord knows, they must have needed it.

Traveller

 

[samgrant]

"In peace invincible, in war invisible." -Col. James Mulligan, 23rd Illinois Infantry Regiment ('Irish Brigade'), on the behavior of the Missouri Home Guards.

 

[hawglips]

A deserter entered a USCT camp to surrender himself (apparently not knowing it was a USCT camp) ... the man arrived in Rock Island to find the prison staffed by more USCT men.

Shane, that's a fascinating story! I'd love to read it firsthand, particularly since its POW related. Do you have the source for it?

Hal