I think it's worth pointing out that the majority of modern Americans are not millionaires and yet there's a significant political movement which favours policies which only benefit millionaires. I don't bring this up to insert modern politics but to use as an example - it is quite possible for a significant number of people to favour a political movement which benefits people
they do not qualify as, especially when it fits in with a worldview in which you
could qualify as that category (i.e. an aspirational one) or one in which the beneficiaries are seen as admirable.
In this case it would be that a Southerner would consider "owning a slave" to be the sign of someone who's really "made it" in life, and something to aspire to.
In addition, the structure of slavery in the South was such that it was possible to
rent slaves, and thus get the benefit of the service of a slave without actually being a slave owner. But the portion of slave owning families was higher than you might think:
In the 1860 census:
| 1860 Census | Families Owning Slaves (%) |
| Delaware | 3 |
| Maryland | 12 |
| Missouri | 13 |
| Arkansas | 20 |
| Kentucky | 23 |
| Tennessee | 25 |
| Virginia | 26 |
| North Carolina | 28 |
| Texas | 28 |
| Louisiana | 29 |
| Florida | 34 |
| Alabama | 35 |
| Georgia | 37 |
| South Carolina | 46 |
| Mississippi | 49 |
(per
snopes)
For these reasons, I do not consider it inconsistent that most Southern families would fall into at least one of these categories:
- Owned slaves themselves (the numbers in the above table)
- Had the option to rent a slave and get the benefit that way
- Could not own or rent slaves, but considered it something to aspire to
Basically, owning one or two slaves was middle-class; owning a
lot was upper class.