Bringing a group back together and making it fun again

[Janelle Oliver]

.

 

[Bob Owen]

Leadership!

 

[Mark F. Jenkins]

If the split is personality-based, it may be permanent. If it's a result of misunderstandings, a frank and open discussion, preferably a moderated one, could perhaps help.

 

[TinCan]

What Bob Owen said

 

[ExNavyPilot]

We have great leaders we do.....a lot of it comes down to immaturity and hurt feels. It's like everyone turns 5 when someone doesn't agree with them or says something they don't agree with. Our leaders try to keep peace but it just seems to be a vicious circle really.

In any group you'll have certain individuals that aren't willing to go with the consensus and always want things their way. In a military organization, the problem is mitigated by the rank structure and discipline. In an organization where membership is voluntary, however, sometimes these...let's call them "whiners"...the whiners won't respect the authority and won't accept the discipline. They don't want to rein in their egos and work toward the greater good but demand that the others give in. When these whiners don't get their way, they become passive-aggressive; spreading hate and discontent behind the leaders' backs and refusing to provide constructive criticism. The dissention becomes personality-based and good ideas are stifled because the person with the idea is not liked. The whiner won't be happy unless everyone is singing to his/her tune, even if everyone else thinks the whiner is tone-deaf. If the leaders of the group have tried hard to develop a consensus among the members and have truly allowed for open communications, but some still refuse to bend or to contribute, then you could be at an impass. Sometimes in that situation it's just better to let the disgruntled whiners go. The organization might be smaller but if everyone agrees on the general structure and way ahead, the groups will be much more cohesive and happy.

 

[Mark F. Jenkins]

Sometimes in that situation it's just better to let the disgruntled whiners go. The organization might be smaller but if everyone agrees on the general structure and way ahead, the groups will be much more cohesive and happy.

Are you advocating secession from the group?

 

[deleson1]

That is life in reenactment units. Probably half the units today were started from disgruntled members. Hell thats the way me and a friend started a unit. It is both good and bad. The bad, the existing units loses members it fought hard to recruit, and the good is the new unit works hard to get their unit going and the old unit must get energized to stay solvent. In the end probably both the old and new get better as a result. If your leadership is strong like to say it is they will be better off if a few leave and the existing members work harder.

 

[Samuel.Sohm]

I am a member of a unit who in the last few months due to hurt feelings and holding things in has begun to separate from one another. Guys no longer seem to have excitement about events no interest in recruiting or growing the group. I just wonder if there is anything that can be done. We've asked the group for suggestions and even complaints but everyone just says everything is fine......then fussing to others outside the group about things. I just want our group to be as tight knit as they were and want to keep things going. I don't want to lose what we have worked so hard to create. Any ideas how to reenergize this group and get them to bury the hatchet?

Well in the military we generally try to talk to people one on one. Group discussions are great for mature and thick skinned people, but it doesn;t always work. The group itself should give the ideas that they think will be amusing or stimulating for them. Someone just needs to take the temp of the people to get those suggestions.

 

[ExNavyPilot]

Are you advocating secession from the group?

I'm NOT going there, Mark.

You are a very bad man.

 

[CWNurse]

This problem happened here with a local group..only a couple of men out of 20 went "nuts" . Tried to take over, whined and complained. And I have to admit sitting back and watching the entertainment the past 3 years has been a blast. The head gangsters favorite word is "farb". These guys did break away from the good unit to form their "bad" unit. Anyway...at our recent planning meeting Mr Farb was pushing an upcoming event that he planned (not on CW land I must add). And one of his complaints was that our last big event we had to deal with farby stuff such as sirens from a firetruck/paramedics...he promised there "would be no such farb " at his location. People can be funny.

 

[Poor Private]

I once aupon a time belonged to a unit that was one of the bigger Yankee units in Michigan. Now it practically no longer exists. This unit held yearly elections for both administrative posts and military posts. One of the problems was that the unit grew, with lots of younger guys who ended up beiong the majority-- Yep it happended the 16-20 y.o.s ended winning all the elections igoring things like experience, and knowledge. Nothing wrong with new blood mixing in(in my opinion), but they took over all the postions. it became more a popularity vote instead of knowledge. Funds in the treasury gotall messed up, meetings were not really meetings anymore, And don't get me started on the lack of knowledge of the officers and NCO's. This unit only lasted for another year. The more experienced people left first(I was among them) for other units. It was a case of it is our unit now and this is how we will run it. I still see some of the guys, and talk to them, I just don't hang with them. My excuse was- I left to go to the other side (Confed), where I had friends that were more my age, and life experiences.

 

[Blessmag]

Not just units, but churches as well. Why do you think Baptists got so big? Uncle Bob and Uncle LeRoy could not get along! A Betty Sue and Bobby Jo. Or Hatfields and McCoys or....

 

[M E Wolf]

NOTICE: MOVING THREAD AS THIS HAS ZERO TO DO WITH HISTORICAL DISCUSSIONS, SO MOVING IT TO RE-ENACTORS FORUM WHERE REENACTORS/LIVING HISTORIANS CAN READ AND DEPART THEIR WISDOM THERE.

M. E. Wolf
POSTED IN THE CAPACITY OF MODERATOR
Jan. 15, 2013; 6:44 p.m.

 

[Poor Private]

Ouch, your shouting at my eyes.

 

[M E Wolf]

Have to agree, much has to do with "Leadership."

Communications is equally important.

If it is too fractured, get a successful re-enactment group's leadership be observers and then report their findings, in this aspect they can act as consultants, yet--best to solve the problem within before taking it outside.

If there isn't a structure document as to set out boundaries of what is expected, how leadership is elected, operation of the group, in short a 'constitution' Vote every year on military leader/commander's position (vote of confidence); install a system to adjudicate complaints. If a year doesn't work--make it a 6 month term. Audit the financial books and keep the financial health transparent.

In life, there will be times when people's feelings will get hurt. There is a difference from occasional hurts and being walked over like a door mat.

Just some personal thoughts.

M. E. Wolf

 

[Oceanpond88]

One unfortunate aspect of this hobby is that it can be rife with politics and egos, just the nature of the beast. My current group got started in part because of disatisfaction with previous groups. We learned from problems in our old groups and former sister groups, now three years later we are still going strong. For instance, instead of doing the same events every reenacting season we make it a point to change things up, going to different events each year. One thing that seems to burn reenactors out is doing the exact same events, over and over again each year, nothing different. We also have no set officer or NCO positions within the mess, we are all perpetual privates for the most part. If we need an officer or NCO for an event we usually rotate positions based on the skill/experience of the mess member, also allowing others to learn. This is on an event-by-event basis. We also as a group constantly research, striving for better impressions and authenticity. I've been in this hobby for close to twelve years, I definitely do not know everything. There is always something to learn, historical research is something every reenactor should do. If you don't mind me asking Janelle, what kind of problems are occuring in your group? Sometimes seperation can't be helped unfortunately, everyone has different aspirations on what this hobby should be. Your best bet may be getting with a group that has similar interests as a whole. Or letting those that want different go their separate ways.

 

[gary]

It's normal human dynamics at work. Until we all embrace the Christ mindset (and not just give lip service to the teachings), it will continue to happen.

At one time in San Francisco, there were five chapters of the Grand Army of the Republic. Each chapter had only a handful of members. Why five? They hated each other.

 

[101combatvet]

Get rid of the trouble makers.

 

[James B White]

Guys no longer seem to have excitement about events

That right there jumps out at me as the key. If the members aren't interesting in the whole point of the hobby--actually experiencing events--there's not much else to hold them together. People will overlook a lot, if they know they need to cooperate to make something great happen, but if the experience at events itself is no longer exciting, there's no incentive to cooperate in order to make it happen.

It may be that some members are just burned out, or it may be they want something new or different out of events, or it may be that it's time for a split, so each half can go their own way and find the kinds of events they enjoy most. Don't know, but if there's a way to get them exciting about the actual events again, I expect the other problems will seem less important.

 

[Dave Hull]

Get rid of the trouble makers.

Absolutely. Once a cancer sets in, it spreads. Not unlike the workplace, one person can bring the whole operation down. That does not mean just cut them lose immediately. Some one needs to sit down and have a civil discussion with the main culprit/culprits, identify the issues and see if there is a way to work things out. If the problem is moaning and sniveling, feel free to use one of my patented phrases,

"Well Joe, I guess it is duffle bag drag time for you."