An Apple a Day

John Hartwell

Lt. Colonel
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Location
Central Massachusetts
"The transport we embarked upon was a dilapidated steamer called the 'Haze' (who that ever took passage in her to or from Dixie can forget the old tub?), a miserably appointed vessel, whose officers and crew seemed better fitted for the penitentiary than for the station they held. It was in this vessel that I first learnt some of the hardships and inconveniences of a soldier's life. Just before the hawser was cast off, an Irish apple-woman came on board, her basket well laden with fruit, and said — 'Come, me poor boys; it's not many of these ye'll get in the place ye're goin' to — so help yerselves! 'Tis all I have to give ye, except me blessin' — and may God bless ye all, and bring ye safe back agin to the frinds ye have at home !'

She then proceeded to distribute the apples (and fine ones they were) to the boys, many of whom, thinking more of the apples than the blessing, rushed eagerly in saying, 'bully for you, old lady!' nearly overturning her in their desire to possess as much of the fruit as possible. As for me, I was content to let them have the fruit — the blessing and good wishes of the warm-hearted old woman was all-sufficient for my desires. She stepped ashore, and as she disappeared in the crowd on the pier, I heard one of the lucky ones, who was luxuriating in the fruits of his scramble, remark to another lucky one, — 'D'd good apples! — that's a bully old woman, — how did you like her malediction?' 'Big thing,"' was the response."



The above comes from the section called "In a Haze", of an 1864 memoir, written with great good humor, and bearing the marvellous title:

SOLDIERING
— IN —
NORTH CAROLINA;
— BEING —
THE EXPERIENCES OF A 'TYRO' IN THE PINES, SWAMPS, FIELDS,
SANDY ROADS, TOWNS, CITIES, AND AMONG THE FLEAS,
WOOD-TICKS, 'GRAY-BACKS,' MOSQUITOES, BLUE-TAIL
FLIES, MOCCASIN SNAKES, LIZARDS, SCORPIONS,
REBELS, AND OTHER REPTILES, PESTS AND
VERMIN OF THE 'OLD NORTH STATE.'
EMBRACING AN ACCOUNT OF THE THREE- YEARS AND NINE-
MONTHS MASSACHUSETTS REGIMENTS IN THE DEPARTMENT,
THE FREEDMEN ETC., ETC., ETC.
BY "ONE OF THE SEVENTEENTH"*

*Thomas Kirwan, 17th Mass. Regiment
 
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An interesting fruit the apple. Seeds contain arsenic and the meat contains antidote for less than 100% of the arsenic. Why? The level of arsenic left will not harm animal (horse or man) but is just enough to kill intestinal bacteria.
So when you have your next apple, eat the whole apple (core and all; o.k. to remove the stem).
 
That's the kind of moment a novelist would struggle over putting in a chapter. Truth nearly always is too good, maybe why novels fall flat frequently- credulity is only stretched when someone insists we notice these wizened old sellers of Good Will. Funny.

He has a little Jerome K. Jerome in him, reading the hardships endured by a New England boy down where they have real mosquitos.

Very nice find, thanks Jno!
 

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