NF Aliens Started the Civil War?!

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TallTallMan

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OK, so, I decided to Google "American Civil War aliens" and this came up:


Apparently, History Channel's Ancient Aliens has suggested that Extra-Terrestrials have controlled the ACW behind the scenes. Some points:

Screenshot 2025-03-15 130529.png


Since reading, my life is 1000% better. Now that I know the truth, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and I skip when I walk. As nobody respected "Southern Historian" Howard Ray White would say, I have learned "truthful history".
 
Oh, nevermind.

I thought Washington owned slaves and lived in Virginia. Why would he be helping the Union?
 
OK, so, I decided to Google "American Civil War aliens" and this came up:


Apparently, History Channel's Ancient Aliens has suggested that Extra-Terrestrials have controlled the ACW behind the scenes. Some points:

View attachment 542682

Since reading, my life is 1000% better. Now that I know the truth, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and I skip when I walk. As nobody respected "Southern Historian" Howard Ray White would say, I have learned "truthful history".
So here's alleged D&C 87 regarding Smith's prophesy on Christmas Day 1832:

"Section 87
Revelation and prophecy on war, given through Joseph Smith the Prophet, at or near Kirtland, Ohio, December 25, 1832. At this time disputes in the United States over slavery and South Carolina's nullification of federal tariffs were prevalent. Joseph Smith's history states that "appearances of troubles among the nations" were becoming "more visible" to the Prophet "than they had previously been since the Church began her journey out of the wilderness."

1–4, War is foretold between the Northern States and the Southern States; 5–8, Great calamities will fall upon all the inhabitants of the earth.

1 Verily, thus saith the Lord concerning the wars that will shortly come to pass, beginning at the rebellion of South Carolina, which will eventually terminate in the death and misery of many souls;
2 And the time will come that war will be poured out upon all nations, beginning at this place.
3 For behold, the Southern States shall be divided against the Northern States, and the Southern States will call on other nations, even the nation of Great Britain, as it is called, and they shall also call upon other nations, in order to defend themselves against other nations; and then war shall be poured out upon all nations.
4 And it shall come to pass, after many days, slaves shall rise up against their masters, who shall be marshaled and disciplined for war.
5 And it shall come to pass also that the remnants who are left of the land will marshal themselves, and shall become exceedingly angry, and shall vex the Gentiles with a sore vexation.
6 And thus, with the sword and by bloodshed the inhabitants of the earth shall mourn; and with famine, and plague, and earthquake, and the thunder of heaven, and the fierce and vivid lightning also, shall the inhabitants of the earth be made to feel the wrath, and indignation, and chastening hand of an Almighty God, until the consumption decreed hath made a full end of all nations;
7 That the cry of the saints, and of the blood of the saints, shall cease to come up into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, from the earth, to be avenged of their enemies.
8 Wherefore, stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come; for behold, it cometh quickly, saith the Lord. Amen.


This item had a very tortured/suspect history and IIRC was never published by the Church as part of the official "Doctrines and Covenants" until after the ACW. It was referred to publicly in 1861 by one of the Church Elders, Orrin Pratt, to show Smith's status as a prophet and Pratt had it published in the NY Times right after war broke out, in June 1861. Curiously, it isn't mentioned in Joe's surviving journal for the 1832-33 period. It also would have been made at a time when the SC nullification issue was inflaming public opinion and lots of people were speculating about the possibility of war. The prophecy has been "reinterpreted" several times since adapt to new crises of various types.

But Joe never said that Moroni ever visited him after the last visit in 1827. By 1832 he was a good ways from Cumorah Hill in NY, living in Ohio. So if he got visited by an 1832 "AI" version created by "aliens", he apparently didn't get duped.

As we know, the History Channel gave up the first part of its name a long time ago.
 
Oh, nevermind.

This is actually instructive in a few respects.

First, are we to believe that nobody in the 20th Maine "division" (corps, brigade, er, "regiment" - who's counting?) turned to his pard and asked "who's the freak in the tri-cornered hat directing traffic?"

Second, I thought college professors using bongs was a product of the 1960's. It looks like they were doing it 100 years earlier - at least at Bowdoin College.

As for Stanton using government resources to chase this down while a war was going on, I learned from several other threads that shall remain nameless to stay away from anything involving him ...
 
So here's alleged D&C 87 regarding Smith's prophesy on Christmas Day 1832:

"Section 87
Revelation and prophecy on war, given through Joseph Smith the Prophet, at or near Kirtland, Ohio, December 25, 1832. At this time disputes in the United States over slavery and South Carolina's nullification of federal tariffs were prevalent. Joseph Smith's history states that "appearances of troubles among the nations" were becoming "more visible" to the Prophet "than they had previously been since the Church began her journey out of the wilderness."

1–4, War is foretold between the Northern States and the Southern States; 5–8, Great calamities will fall upon all the inhabitants of the earth.

1 Verily, thus saith the Lord concerning the wars that will shortly come to pass, beginning at the rebellion of South Carolina, which will eventually terminate in the death and misery of many souls;
2 And the time will come that war will be poured out upon all nations, beginning at this place.
3 For behold, the Southern States shall be divided against the Northern States, and the Southern States will call on other nations, even the nation of Great Britain, as it is called, and they shall also call upon other nations, in order to defend themselves against other nations; and then war shall be poured out upon all nations.
4 And it shall come to pass, after many days, slaves shall rise up against their masters, who shall be marshaled and disciplined for war.
5 And it shall come to pass also that the remnants who are left of the land will marshal themselves, and shall become exceedingly angry, and shall vex the Gentiles with a sore vexation.
6 And thus, with the sword and by bloodshed the inhabitants of the earth shall mourn; and with famine, and plague, and earthquake, and the thunder of heaven, and the fierce and vivid lightning also, shall the inhabitants of the earth be made to feel the wrath, and indignation, and chastening hand of an Almighty God, until the consumption decreed hath made a full end of all nations;
7 That the cry of the saints, and of the blood of the saints, shall cease to come up into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, from the earth, to be avenged of their enemies.
8 Wherefore, stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come; for behold, it cometh quickly, saith the Lord. Amen.


This item had a very tortured/suspect history and IIRC was never published by the Church as part of the official "Doctrines and Covenants" until after the ACW. It was referred to publicly in 1861 by one of the Church Elders, Orrin Pratt, to show Smith's status as a prophet and Pratt had it published in the NY Times right after war broke out, in June 1861. Curiously, it isn't mentioned in Joe's surviving journal for the 1832-33 period. It also would have been made at a time when the SC nullification issue was inflaming public opinion and lots of people were speculating about the possibility of war. The prophecy has been "reinterpreted" several times since adapt to new crises of various types.

But Joe never said that Moroni ever visited him after the last visit in 1827. By 1832 he was a good ways from Cumorah Hill in NY, living in Ohio. So if he got visited by an 1832 "AI" version created by "aliens", he apparently didn't get duped.

As we know, the History Channel gave up the first part of its name a long time ago.
I have never seen a connection made between Moroni and the ACW. That was certainly a first. Some people have called the Utah War "the first ACW", but that's hyperbole. Didn't it involve less than 1% of the population? Is the Lincoln County War the third one? (Well, that Steve Preston said there were five.)
 
This is actually instructive in a few respects.

First, are we to believe that nobody in the 20th Maine "division" (corps, brigade, er, "regiment" - who's counting?) turned to his pard and asked "who's the freak in the tri-cornered hat directing traffic?"

Second, I thought college professors using bongs was a product of the 1960's. It looks like they were doing it 100 years earlier - at least at Bowdoin College.

As for Stanton using government resources to chase this down while a war was going on, I learned from several other threads that shall remain nameless to stay away from anything involving him ...
Yeah, I have seen a lot of insanity on the ACW (including those nameless threads), but this takes the cake.

I have to add the blogger, Christian McWhirter (author of Battle Hymns), does not believe in this bunk. He is a research historian at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library.
 
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