Victorian Gems

[Eleanor Rose]

Pinterest​

According to "The Golden Gems of Life" published in 1880, this is how our Victorian friends defined friendship in the 1880s.

Friendship

"Friendship is the sweetest and most satisfactory connection in life. It has notable effect upon all states and conditions. It relieves our cares, raises our hopes, and abates our fears. A friend who relates his successes talks himself into a new pleasure and by opening his misfortunes leaves a part of them behind him.

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by doubling our joys and dividing our griefs. Charity is friendship in common, and friendship is charity enclosed. It is a sweet attraction of the heart towards the merit we esteem or the perfection we admire, and produces a mutual inclination between two or more persons to promote each other's' interests, knowledge, virtue, and happiness.

The language of friendship is as varied as the wants and weaknesses of humanity. To the timid and cautious it speaks words of encouragement. To the weak it is ready to extend a helping hand. To the bold and venturesome it whispers words of caution. It is ready to sympathize with the sorrowing one, and to rejoice with those of good cheer. Friendship is not confined to any particular class of society or any particular geographical locality. No surveyed chart, no natural boundary line, no rugged mountain or steep declining vale puts a limit to its growth. Wherever it is watered with the dews of kindness and affection, there you may be sure to find it.

Friendship enters the abode of sorrow and wretchedness, and causes happiness and peace. Its influence dispels every poisoned thought of envy, and spreads abroad in the mind a contentment which all the powers of the mind could not otherwise bestow. True friendship will bloom only in the soil of a noble and self-sacrificing heart. There it enjoys perpetual Summer, diffusing a sweet atmosphere of love, peace, and joy to all around.

No man can go very far with strength and courage if he goes alone through the weary struggles of life. We are made to be happier and better by each other's' notice and appreciation. Never yet was there a human heart that did not at some time, in some tender and yearning hour, long for the sympathy of other hearts.

True friendship can only be molded by the experience of time. A thousand transitory friends meet us along the crowded thoroughfares of life; but when we come to try their durability in the sieve of experience, alas, how many fall through! There have been times in the life of every man when he has been willing to stake reputation, credit, all, on the true friendship of some companion, but he turns to find his idol clay.

True friendship is worth a whole caravan of those lukewarm and treacherous souls who profess to be attached to us, but whose affection is so uncertain and unstable that we fear to put it to the test of trial lest we lose it forever.

False friends are like our shadows, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade."


The signs of a true friend:

• Will he weep with you in your hours of distress?
• Will he faithfully reprove you to your face for actions other are ridiculing behind your back?
• Will he dare to stand forth to defend your reputation?
• When grief and loss obliges you to retire, will he still think himself happy in your presence, instead of withdrawing himself from an unprofitable connection.
• Will he help you to support the burden of your afflictions?
• When you are sick, will he listen with attention to your tale of suffering and administer the balm of consolation to your fainting spirit?
• And when death shall break every earthly tie, will he shed a tear upon your grave and lodge the dear remembrance of your mutual friendship in his heart?

I am grateful for all the friends I have made on CWT! That's you @nitrofd, @Jimklag, @NH Civil War Gal, @AshleyMel, @Bee, @captaindrew, @7th Mississippi Infantry, @Cavalry Charger, @LoriAnn, @Anna Elizabeth Henry, @donna, @War Horse, @FarawayFriend, @John Winn, @KansasFreestater, @christian soldier, @bdtex, @Pat Young, @Albert Sailhorst, James N., @WJC, @jgoodguy, @matthew mckeon, @Northern Light, @lelliott19, @chellers, @Mike Serpa, @SWMODave, @alan polk, @RobertP, @pamc153PA, @Waterloo50, @Viper21 and the list goes on and on... If you're reading this post, I am grateful for your friendship!

 

[Eleanor Rose]

You're definitely a "gem" @mofederal!

 

[Eleanor Rose]

The 18th century view of children's friendships is "family – good, friends – very often bad." However, changes in the 19th century made this view "unsustainable." The introduction of the Elementary Education Act in 1880 meant that "children were going to school en masse and inevitably forming friendships outside their own families."

Source: History of Emotions Blog

 

[Bee]

This is a precious image/painting that I wish I had up on my wall (oh, the puppy!!)

Thank you @Eleanor Rose for including me in your kind words. Likewise, my friend.

OF course, the ever pragmatic TN (assistant) states that a true friend is one who will help you move

 

[AshleyMel]

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angel unawares." ~ Hebrews 13:1

Not just a friend to me, but most definitely an angel!
You are wonderful!

 

[nitrofd]

Scarlett,Rhett may be blushing....

 

[mofederal]

It is hard not be affected by the beautiful images of the past and the sentiment. They were as modern as we are now, they just used a different science and technology. They are us and we are them. Hopefully we do not forget this, nor their struggles in life.

 

[Jimklag]

Pinterest​

According to "The Golden Gems of Life" published in 1880, this is how our Victorian friends defined friendship in the 1880s.

Friendship

"Friendship is the sweetest and most satisfactory connection in life. It has notable effect upon all states and conditions. It relieves our cares, raises our hopes, and abates our fears. A friend who relates his successes talks himself into a new pleasure and by opening his misfortunes leaves a part of them behind him.

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by doubling our joys and dividing our griefs. Charity is friendship in common, and friendship is charity enclosed. It is a sweet attraction of the heart towards the merit we esteem or the perfection we admire, and produces a mutual inclination between two or more persons to promote each other's' interests, knowledge, virtue, and happiness.

The language of friendship is as varied as the wants and weaknesses of humanity. To the timid and cautious it speaks words of encouragement. To the weak it is ready to extend a helping hand. To the bold and venturesome it whispers words of caution. It is ready to sympathize with the sorrowing one, and to rejoice with those of good cheer. Friendship is not confined to any particular class of society or any particular geographical locality. No surveyed chart, no natural boundary line, no rugged mountain or steep declining vale puts a limit to its growth. Wherever it is watered with the dews of kindness and affection, there you may be sure to find it.

Friendship enters the abode of sorrow and wretchedness, and causes happiness and peace. Its influence dispels every poisoned thought of envy, and spreads abroad in the mind a contentment which all the powers of the mind could not otherwise bestow. True friendship will bloom only in the soil of a noble and self-sacrificing heart. There it enjoys perpetual Summer, diffusing a sweet atmosphere of love, peace, and joy to all around.

No man can go very far with strength and courage if he goes alone through the weary struggles of life. We are made to be happier and better by each other's' notice and appreciation. Never yet was there a human heart that did not at some time, in some tender and yearning hour, long for the sympathy of other hearts.

True friendship can only be molded by the experience of time. A thousand transitory friends meet us along the crowded thoroughfares of life; but when we come to try their durability in the sieve of experience, alas, how many fall through! There have been times in the life of every man when he has been willing to stake reputation, credit, all, on the true friendship of some companion, but he turns to find his idol clay.

True friendship is worth a whole caravan of those lukewarm and treacherous souls who profess to be attached to us, but whose affection is so uncertain and unstable that we fear to put it to the test of trial lest we lose it forever.

False friends are like our shadows, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade."


The signs of a true friend:

• Will he weep with you in your hours of distress?
• Will he faithfully reprove you to your face for actions other are ridiculing behind your back?
• Will he dare to stand forth to defend your reputation?
• When grief and loss obliges you to retire, will he still think himself happy in your presence, instead of withdrawing himself from an unprofitable connection.
• Will he help you to support the burden of your afflictions?
• When you are sick, will he listen with attention to your tale of suffering and administer the balm of consolation to your fainting spirit?
• And when death shall break every earthly tie, will he shed a tear upon your grave and lodge the dear remembrance of your mutual friendship in his heart?

I am grateful for all the friends I have made on CWT! That's you @nitrofd, @Jimklag, @NH Civil War Gal, @AshleyMel, @Bee, @captaindrew, @7th Mississippi Infantry, @Cavalry Charger, @LoriAnn, @Anna Elizabeth Henry, @donna, @War Horse, @FarawayFriend, @John Winn, @KansasFreestater, @christian soldier, @bdtex, @Pat Young, @Albert Sailhorst, James N., @WJC, @jgoodguy, @matthew mckeon, @Northern Light, @lelliott19, @chellers, @Mike Serpa, @SWMODave, @alan polk, @RobertP, @pamc153PA, @Waterloo50, @Viper21 and the list goes on and on... If you're reading this post, I am grateful for your friendship!

Ellie, I will try to live up to your beautiful sentiments. Here is one of my favorite quotes on friendship. It is from Khalil Gibran'

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

 

[NH Civil War Gal]

@Eleanor Rose that is so beautiful - the thought and picture and thank you for including me. I really do cherish my CWT friends.

 

[captaindrew]

Ditto what @NH Civil War Gal said, you are the best Ellie

 

[LoriAnn]

In speech, I always refer to this forum as "my Civil War buds".

I'm reminded of what @JPK Huson 1863 said in an earlier thread ~ how we can be arguing one minute and then sincerely wishing each other a happy birthday the next. Very much like a good, decent family. I'm going to be cheesy for a moment and borrow from a John Legend song...all our curves and all our edges, all our perfect imperfections, yet we seem to manage just fine.