Keeper of the Scales- Joined
- Jun 2, 2013
- Location
- Columbus, OH
The following was written by trooper Frank S. Dickinson of the 5th New York Cavalry, describing an event that occurred in August 1862 at Waterloo Bridge, in Fauquier County, Virginia. This is some genuinely funny stuff, and I hope you enjoy it. All I can say is, "that poor mule."
The Fifth New York [Cavalry] was sent to destroy the bridge at Waterloo. It was found to be heavily guarded by artillery supported by Anderson's Division of Infantry, who, under the protection of logs and trees, swept the bridge from end to end making all attempts vain, although several gallant efforts were made by Christian Ehman and L. F. Packard. Meanwhile Buford had arrived, as had also many other generals, to witness the trial of the jackass battery, a new invention evidently emanating from the fertile brain of one who was neither familiar with the working of artillery, or the pranks of a frightened jackass. Now, this identical brass howitzer was about three feet long, was mounted on the back of a half-breed, vulgarly called a mule, which, if not so very intelligent, had a very inquiring mind, and wished to investigate as new ideas developed. The mule, with his death dealing invention, was trotted out into a convenient open field, on a gentle knoll close to the river. The officers began to cluster around to inspect the devastation promised by the inventor, and the Johnnies on the opposite side of the river ceased firing to enjoy the novel scene. The mule and gun (pointed toward the animal's rear) were placed; the gun sighted, and the fuse lighted. The fizzle-sizzle of the lighted fuse attracted the attention of the beast, and he commenced an investigation as to the noise and smoke, by whirling round and round, swapping ends so fast that the inspecting officers were anxious to get out of range of the gun or mule. Of course as soldiers, they were not afraid of the gun, so it must have been the mule that caused the quick dispersion of that crowd. The blanched faces, the dilated eyes, and puzzled expression of countenances as they came in range of each revolution of the gun with its lighted fuse was all chargeable to the mule of course. In a much shorter space of time than it takes to tell it, the gun was discharged, and fortunately in the direction of the enemy, who gave a yell and a cheer. The recoil of the gun placed that mule on his head and shoulders, with his heels high up in the air. As soon as his flying heels came down where their kicks would hit the solid earth, they sent him out of sight with the speed of the wind to return no more. And ever after, the army mules has emitted that mournful cry, "Too much brain—too much—too much."
The Fifth New York [Cavalry] was sent to destroy the bridge at Waterloo. It was found to be heavily guarded by artillery supported by Anderson's Division of Infantry, who, under the protection of logs and trees, swept the bridge from end to end making all attempts vain, although several gallant efforts were made by Christian Ehman and L. F. Packard. Meanwhile Buford had arrived, as had also many other generals, to witness the trial of the jackass battery, a new invention evidently emanating from the fertile brain of one who was neither familiar with the working of artillery, or the pranks of a frightened jackass. Now, this identical brass howitzer was about three feet long, was mounted on the back of a half-breed, vulgarly called a mule, which, if not so very intelligent, had a very inquiring mind, and wished to investigate as new ideas developed. The mule, with his death dealing invention, was trotted out into a convenient open field, on a gentle knoll close to the river. The officers began to cluster around to inspect the devastation promised by the inventor, and the Johnnies on the opposite side of the river ceased firing to enjoy the novel scene. The mule and gun (pointed toward the animal's rear) were placed; the gun sighted, and the fuse lighted. The fizzle-sizzle of the lighted fuse attracted the attention of the beast, and he commenced an investigation as to the noise and smoke, by whirling round and round, swapping ends so fast that the inspecting officers were anxious to get out of range of the gun or mule. Of course as soldiers, they were not afraid of the gun, so it must have been the mule that caused the quick dispersion of that crowd. The blanched faces, the dilated eyes, and puzzled expression of countenances as they came in range of each revolution of the gun with its lighted fuse was all chargeable to the mule of course. In a much shorter space of time than it takes to tell it, the gun was discharged, and fortunately in the direction of the enemy, who gave a yell and a cheer. The recoil of the gun placed that mule on his head and shoulders, with his heels high up in the air. As soon as his flying heels came down where their kicks would hit the solid earth, they sent him out of sight with the speed of the wind to return no more. And ever after, the army mules has emitted that mournful cry, "Too much brain—too much—too much."
Bringing the