Preface, The Lady's Companion

[JPK Huson 1863]

Since this forum is ' The Ladie's Tea ', I'm assuming some comprehensive overview of the era would be inclusive here- just the name of the forum would indicate that by-gone social afternoon women frequently spent with each other, in groups of various sizes and purposes. My grgrandmother and her mother belonged to a group called ' The Wednesday Afternoon Club ', in Burdett, New York. ' Tea ' consisted of just that, plus finger sandwiches, macaroons, sweetbreads and ices, depending on who was in charge of refreshments after the program. The program itself was varied also, but also some kind of educational format- the works of Thackery, or a single Shakesphere- one of the female authors of the day was to have been read and discussed. A ' Tea ' was serious business.

It was, of course dependent on one's social status. You didn't find the coalman's wife there, unfortunately, or the local drunk's wife- the local drunk may have begun life further up the rung but his actions would have relegated the entire family so far down the ladder, his wife would have no prayer ( you should excuse the pun ) of even attending her old church. Tough crowd, these women.

The book I was left, ' The Lady's Companion ' is of course as archaic as it is charming, but provides pretty darn good insight into the world our ancestors inhabited at the time the War of The Rebellion shattered all their worlds to some extent, North and South- no doubt changed some of this forever. Produced in 1860, you wonder how much would have been re-written, for better and worse, 5 years later.

As tedious as it can be, slogging through the long, flowing periods of the writing of the time, it's worth it. You catch a whiff or more of a world that did not move as quickly, where different things were important to people, where ceremony still meant an awful lot and milestones were treasured. I like it, despite obviously deploring women's lack of rights and the barely acknowledged but vast gulf between the classes- these would slowly be changed and healed, for the most part. Not sure how much progress has been progressive, that's all.

PREFACE

 

[donna]

Thanks for posting.

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

I realize this kind of thing can be a big snore, compared especially to the entire war, personalities, battles- causes and politics. Ok, it IS a big snore. I feel a little like I'm doing the subject a disservice by ignoring this stuff, however- the basis on which a lot of females operated. Some- after which there's the women of other ethnicities, the working classes who had to truly sacrifice SO, so much with their men gone, the African American women who had no say whatsoever in their world, the native American women who had had their world vanish increasingly yet were somehow expected to care about this white-man's war, the rural immigrants who had not had a chance to enter this WASP-ey world- they were still speaking their native languages out on distant farms.

The problem is, no one gave them books to follow, wrote moral tales to keep them strong or be helpful. It's not all quite as divisive as it sounds, however. The common female themes of loss and heartache did help breach these awful societal gaps sometimes- you find stories indicative of this. It was slow. In those days you just did not rub elbows, but it was there.

 

[donna]

I think what women did at this time, no matter their class, or nationality is very interesting. I like to know what they did in everyday life and how they coped and what their interests were.