Forrest Mrs Forrest

[7th Mississippi Infantry]

She was certainly a strong woman.

Indeed.

 

[roberts]

I hated it when my mother would tell me to go out and get my own switch!!! 'Oh no, go get a bigger one.."

What was worse was when she went to get the bigger switch herself or the worst case of all when she sent one of your brothers to fetch one.

 

[diane]

What was worse was when she went to get the bigger switch herself or the worst case of all when she sent one of your brothers to fetch one.

Lol! Don't remember much of that but my folks had other ways. I remember wearing clothespins on my ears for a day to remind me to LISTEN. Those hurt!!! (It would have been only an hour but I kept taking them off...and learned another lesson while I was at it!)

 

[diane]

This was Matt Luxton, a son from her second marriage. The other two Luxton boys joined as well...Dickie was 14 in 1865 IIRC. She had a total of 8 sons in Confederate service and John the son who was crippled during the Mexican War was imprisoned for shooting a Union officer in Memphis. The war would have been over two years sooner without Ms. Forrest .

This is great. But I thought the recipient of the larrupin' good wallop was Joe! He'd just turned old enough to join up and was preening in his new uniform, largely because his little brother was jealous he couldn't join up, too. Matt was already with Forrest, wasn't he?

Some in the Luxton family believe that her second husband Joseph Luxton was shot while scouting Union positions. She was certainly a strong woman.

That would sure explain a number of things I've wondered about. Was he a marshal at that time? When you look at Forrest's family through the CW, and what was going on in Tennessee, the background story sure helps bring the main one into true focus. No wonder he was a ferocious fighter to the bitter end.

 

[Allie]

I was forgetting the Luxtons!

 

[Union_Buff]

Another interesting side to the Forrest family - thank you for posting this snippet of info Barry

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

Doesn't that make a little difference, hitting children no matter the era? We were never hit, never. It just seems that because this woman was the mother of someone famous it's sanctioned. Not a spoil sport but it is hard to read that and then not say it sounds like abuse. The other danger of having this sanctioned is giving encouragement to abusers- anyone reading all this is fueled by ' right ' next time a child is hit.

I don't know. Makes me extremely uncomfortable.

 

[Pat Answer]

Doesn't that make a little difference, hitting children no matter the era? We were never hit, never. It just seems that because this woman was the mother of someone famous it's sanctioned. Not a spoil sport but it is hard to read that and then not say it sounds like abuse. The other danger of having this sanctioned is giving encouragement to abusers- anyone reading all this is fueled by ' right ' next time a child is hit.

I don't know. Makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I do hear you: the line between discipline and abuse can be a challenge to define. In my experience, though, setting boundaries for my little guys early with some dramatic, carefully explained swats to the behind when deserved has so far -knocking on my forehead in the absence of wood - resulted in their receiving near-universal praise for their manners and good behavior. I hated spanking, mind you, didn't make me feel good at all. I'm glad I can count the ones I administered on one hand. But now that they are older, "the look" is sufficient and I'm grateful.

 

[diane]

Sometimes you have to get their attention! As a rule, there was not much if any hitting in my family but there were logical consequences. Quite often they wouldn't say a thing or do a thing and somehow it was worse than any spanking! Or...quietly...your grandma is disappointed in you... Then you could crawl right under a rug without ruffling your hair!

 

[Nathanb1]

Doesn't that make a little difference, hitting children no matter the era? We were never hit, never. It just seems that because this woman was the mother of someone famous it's sanctioned. Not a spoil sport but it is hard to read that and then not say it sounds like abuse. The other danger of having this sanctioned is giving encouragement to abusers- anyone reading all this is fueled by ' right ' next time a child is hit.

I don't know. Makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Every time I was whipped (and I can count it on one hand, because generally I was either a good kid or so funny my mom couldn't do it).....I richly deserved it. I guess I'm from an older generation. It isn't abuse if it's done with love and for a good reason....not just because you walked in and saw the kid.

 

[Allie]

I think JPH Huson is asking a reasonable question. Having been both abused and spanked, there is a difference between spanking and abuse, and those who say every spanking is abuse are making light of real abuse.

This case is frankly borderline, and definitely not something I would hold up as an example of fine child-rearing by modern standards. However, it was a long time ago, and it's funny in the same way stories about someone's country grandma spitting tobacco are funny. Regardless of what a tough old bird grandma was, let's not all take up tobacco spitting, please, it's kind of gross and gives you mouth cancer.

A huge amount of whether or not something is abuse has to do with context and how it's perceived by the victim. Did this young man feel helpless and humiliated by a crazy person, or did he think frankly he deserved that and move on? There's not really any way to know: he's dead and if he was traumatized he didn't mention it to anyone who wrote it down. Nathan Bedford Forrest reportedly had some anger issues which are consistent with childhood abuse. Who knows? It's a good question.

Moms reading this, please don't beat your teenaged sons with switches, even if you want them to grow up to be good generals. There, now the article has a disclaimer.

 

[hanna260]

Moms reading this, please don't beat your teenaged sons with switches, even if you want them to grow up to be good generals. There, now the article has a disclaimer.

That made me laugh, Allie. Not sure if it was supposed to.

But I think, like Nathanb1 was saying, there's just a different standard now then there was then. If you richly deserved a spanking, or as Nathanb1 said, it was done with love and obvious concern for the child learning, then it wasn't abuse. Now, it's a little different.

 

[yellowthornoftexas]

'tough' love....LOL
Yup, if she'd had a couple more, things down south may have turned out differently!!! LOL

 

[Awanita]

I hated it when my mother would tell me to go out and get my own switch!!! 'Oh no, go get a bigger one.." ugh!!! Made me a better person!!!
Hey!!! I was never mean to my men!!! LOL, I was fair and backed them if they were right...LOL

Use of sugar coated words.

THE DUMBEST THING I DID AS A KID was not cut the right size switch when mom sent to get one.

I was around 10 or 11 now this was back in the day that kids didn't back talk moms and dads or make the statement "if you whoop me I will call the police" If I had done that mom would have told me to call the preacher as well since someone would have to pray over the body. LOL

Anyway I had done something, I can't remember what it was but it must have been pretty bad or dumb because mom was going to issue a spanking. Trust me she didn't just hand those out to anybody no sir you earned those. She sent me to the kitchen and told me to get a paring knife and to go cut her a switch so she could give me my punishment...Do you know how it feels to have to cut your own switch. There is this big lump that comes into your throat and your stomach churns. The walk to where the switch patch was about a hundred yards from the house. You don't know how many times I though if I had a hundred yard head start I could just keep running and mom wouldn't catch me.

Anyway my little brain was working overtime on how I could make this bad situation better so I thought all the way down to the switch patch. When I got there, boy did I have a plan, I would cut one so big that there was no way mom could bring herself to whoop me with it. I found a big bas***d, almost had to saw it in half and then my little lanky butt went dragging it to the house. When I got back mom came to the front porch and asked "Knowlton did you get me a switch"?

I replied "Yes mama I sure did" then I pulled that big beast from behind my back. Mom got a sad look on her face and said "oh honey I couldn't bring myself to whoop you with that big ole thang" I thought to myself "yep Knowlton your a f n genius" then mom asked me the dreaded question. She asked if I still had the paring knife, to which I swallowed hard and said yes.

"Well sweetheart I guess I will have to go and show you how to cut a switch" she said as she took the knife from me and motioned for me to walk with her to the switch patch. I am thinking oh sh!t this didn't turn out the way I thought it would. We get to the patch and she says " now Knowlton you go through there and find the right one, don't let it be too green or too dry we sure don't want it break. Ah and make sure that it's not to big like the last one and make sure it's not too small." Man I look and look until I found the right one and I pointed at it, mom shook her head with approval so I cut the switch. Thinking ok, let's get this over with. Then mom really sends my heart down to my un-dropped reproductive organs. "Knowlton since I had to stop doing the dishes to come and teach you how to cut a switch I guess I need to cut one also". Ah da*n and she did. Now I am a fast runner and mom cut one of those long ole green willow switches, the ones that you could hear coming and make that little swish sound as they wrapped around your leg. I ran all the way home with momma on my donkey. Swish swish, ahhhh swish swish ahhhhh momma I'll be good. swish swish ahhhhh " Knowlton do you think you have learned how to cut a proper switch"

Hell yes momma, swish swish ahhhhh " and that's for cussin boy".

Thanks mom for the lessons in life that made me a better person and a responsible adult.

 

[diane]

I don't think whatever discipline method Ma Forrest used on her boys was detrimental to them. A lot of things could have contributed to Forrest's temper - losing most of his siblings at an early age, losing his father, all sorts of things. Actually, it appears he came by it honestly anyhow - his father had a blazing temper, too!

 

[CSA Today]

also a cotton stalk

A tobacco stalk worked even better.

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

Every time I was whipped (and I can count it on one hand, because generally I was either a good kid or so funny my mom couldn't do it).....I richly deserved it. I guess I'm from an older generation. It isn't abuse if it's done with love and for a good reason....not just because you walked in and saw the kid.

" So funny my Mom couldn't do it." takes the conversation in a wholeeee different direction- you must have been an interesting child! I had one- well several but one who could change the temperature in a room, hot to hysterical, same thing. OH my gosh- well, all 4 knew all they had to do to duck trouble was to 180. I'll buy a kid a pony if they can make me laugh.

Yes, the thing is with corporal punishment is it's that slippery slope thing- gosh, who am I talking to, teachers see the bottom of the slope all the time. Not a lot of people have the judgement to separate their anger from their rational actions as a parent. They tend to give themselves permission to pursue the physical course based on ' it's only discipline, other people do it ' without the least understanding those ' other people' are adults with a far, far different perspective and an actual plan as to how it works.

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

I do hear you: the line between discipline and abuse can be a challenge to define. In my experience, though, setting boundaries for my little guys early with some dramatic, carefully explained swats to the behind when deserved has so far -knocking on my forehead in the absence of wood - resulted in their receiving near-universal praise for their manners and good behavior. I hated spanking, mind you, didn't make me feel good at all. I'm glad I can count the ones I administered on one hand. But now that they are older, "the look" is sufficient and I'm grateful.

I'm seriously not arguing with you but can honestly say mine are beautifully polite also, am very lucky. Well, they had to be- plus can't take all the credit because they are naturally very nice people. It does help- kind people tend to be awfully aware of how they encounter others. I'm not even sure how it was achieved except by sheer insistence and exposure to elder generations- Respect Immersion!