Most Hated Westerns

[Nathanb1]

Chuck Conners as Geronimo in "Geronimo"!

LOL. You've been watching the Western Channel. We've had the same conversation at this house lately.

A very tall, blue-eyed Geronimo, I might add. Weird. Just wrong.

 

[coltshooter1]

Blazing Saddles--everytime I watch it my sides hurt afterwards from laughing so hard.

 

[tmh10]

First, this thread is Nate's idea. I'm just taking the ball and running with it...

So, with that said, the most hated westerns in my book are generally of the spaghetti variety. I'm just not an enthusiast of the Sergio Leone style.

I thought The Quick and The Dead was kind of dumb, too. I mean, the best gunfighters weren't actually the fastest. They were the ones who outlived all the others. They were the most deliberate.

I don't own Open Range and I don't intend to. It was okay, but the pace of the movie was not my style.

I am unable to watch Dances With Wolves because Cisco gets killed, and Two Socks is shot at and wounded. Not cool. When horses and dogs get kilt, so goes my desire to ever watch the movie again.

Back to the Future III... Not really a western, but takes place, in part, in the Old West. ("Nee-kay...some sort of fancy moccasins?")

I can't say I hate Shanghai Noon because I haven't seen it. But from what I can tell it is just a kung-fu spoof filmed in the Old West. Weird. ...Kind of like the queer combination of Cowboys versus Aliens. Double weird.

I thought Open Range was a dam fine movie.

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

The one where Lee Marvin sings. Now that's just wrong.

OH, ok, I just read page one- it was ' Paint Your Wagon '. I might have been able to have gotten on board with the rest of the cheesy stuff, but paying Lee Marvin to SING, when they HAVE him?

Yes, any western where no one paid enough attention to things, where the actors 'thump thump thump' hands flying in the air, you can see daylight, they just never rode in their life, drives me insane. I also always hate it when the horses are stunning, gleaming, tails have JUST been brushed, and those things are all pindly-legged purebreds of whatever breed, last 20 minutes out there. Also when one scene, the hero is fleeing on one horse, they cut away, he's on a different d*m horse. Sorry, I just get annoyed with the horse stuff. I don't think it's picky, since so much of it is so obvious!

Oh my gosh, and Hollywood, unless a cowpony was trained to put up with that nonsense, there's not a horse alive that is going to deal with someone running up behind it, launch onto it's back. You're not going to have children, is what'll happen. I've always wondered how many injuries were self-inflicted, by kids thinking 'HEY! Nifty trick, bet I do that!'.

 

[Nathanb1]

The one where Lee Marvin sings. Now that's just wrong.

OH, ok, I just read page one- it was ' Paint Your Wagon '. I might have been able to have gotten on board with the rest of the cheesy stuff, but paying Lee Marvin to SING, when they HAVE him?

Yes, any western where no one paid enough attention to things, where the actors 'thump thump thump' hands flying in the air, you can see daylight, they just never rode in their life, drives me insane. I also always hate it when the horses are stunning, gleaming, tails have JUST been brushed, and those things are all pindly-legged purebreds of whatever breed, last 20 minutes out there. Also when one scene, the hero is fleeing on one horse, they cut away, he's on a different d*m horse. Sorry, I just get annoyed with the horse stuff. I don't think it's picky, since so much of it is so obvious!

Oh my gosh, and Hollywood, unless a cowpony was trained to put up with that nonsense, there's not a horse alive that is going to deal with someone running up behind it, launch onto it's back. You're not going to have children, is what'll happen. I've always wondered how many injuries were self-inflicted, by kids thinking 'HEY! Nifty trick, bet I do that!'.

I think you and I could watch westerns just fine together. Apparently the same things that drive you insane....and I can add a few like breaking a bronc to rein in 2 minutes, no sweat on a horse that's been run for hours or days.....

Probably why I gravitate towards anything with Ben Johnson or Buck Taylor .... those guys know horses. Shout out to Wallace Beery, Jr., who grew up on polo ponies at his dad's estate and LOOKS and SOUNDS like a cowboy. That man could ride anything with hair on it, I do believe....and Hank Worden and Ken Curtis....and you get the drift.

 

[diane]

I've always wondered how many injuries were self-inflicted, by kids thinking 'HEY! Nifty trick, bet I do that!'.

My dad jumped off the roof of the barn trying to be Superman. (He didn't fly near so well...) But that's not all! He built a raft and went down the flooded creek as he'd seen Captain Blood. That didn't go well either! It was some hellacious ride, though...

 

[18thmississippi]

wild wild west kinda went out the window for me and johana hex

 

[Hawkeye]

Thank you, Carson Reb. I can now vent. I HATE High Noon. I'm a huge Gary Cooper fan, but OMG. That movie is so stupid. All it has going for it is a good song. Stupid.

Thank you. I'm sure I'm going to be pounded for that.

Anything where they run cattle or can't ride or do stupid stuff like sit around and sing (oh....that would be pretty much every Gene Autry or Roy Rogers movie)......strangely enough, I love those Bob Hope classics, Paleface, Son of Paleface and Fancy Pants....and Blazing Saddles.

MY favorite part of Blazing Saddles is when Alex Karras socks the horse. My mom did that to her barrel horse at the Pecos Rodeo right after she and my dad were married....standing with a group of ropers. You can imagine the holy heck they gave my dad......

Anyway, thanks for the venting space!

I think High Noon is very slow moving and all the good stuff happens in the very last bit of the movie. I think its more of an art film than a western/they were more focused on the visuals than the story and the action or lack thereof. I have seen some pretty bad spaghetti westerns..most of the clint eastwood films in this genre I like. How can you go wrong with Dirty Harry! I second the jackie chan westerns, back to the future 3, and Wild Wild West since it is sort of steampunk meets western. Either way, dumb movie!

 

[rbasin]

Don't worry about hating High Noon! I can't stand It's a Wonderful Life. Come on, George, a life long guilt trip? Collar that selfish brother of yours and say, hey I got some things I want to do, too. Like get the heck out of Bedford Falls!

I can't remember the name of it now, dadburn it, but it was John Wayne as a singing cowboy. And, any of them who have Indians bouncing around a campfire whooping or the beautiful white girl playing the beautiful Indian princess. Donna Reed, for example.

Can I hit the "Like" button more than once?

 

[Hawkeye]

butch cassidy and the sundance kid..just not my cup of tea. More like a bro-mance

 

[Potomac Pride]

My least favorite western is "The Terror of Tiny Town" which was a movie that had an all midget cast.

 

[Hawkeye]

My least favorite western is "The Terror of Tiny Town" which was a movie that had an all midget cast.

I guess it was unique at least..

 

[carson_reb]

I thought Open Range was a dam fine movie.

To each his own. The movie really only got exciting toward the end with the gun battle. I particularly thought the way Costner's character just strode up to that fancy-pants, whipped out his revolver, pointed it and shot the guy without any drama at all was striking. Probably the way most gun altercations started and ended. The gun battle at the end seemed pretty authentic, too. My problem with the movie is its pace: Slow and not very exciting.

 

[Bob Owen]

Sugarfoot!

 

[Lee]

I am trying my best to think of a western I hated. I'm sure a few exist but they must have been thrown out of my less than perfect memory to make space for things I do like but can't always remember.

 

[Nathanb1]

To each his own. The movie really only got exciting toward the end with the gun battle. I particularly thought the way Costner's character just strode up to that fancy-pants, whipped out his revolver, pointed it and shot the guy without any drama at all was striking. Probably the way most gun altercations started and ended. The gun battle at the end seemed pretty authentic, too. My problem with the movie is its pace: Slow and not very exciting.

I watched it recently. When Costner is shooting past the horses hitched by the water trough, there is NO WAY he could hit the guy he's shooting out without at least a couple of either badly wounded or dead horses. I've always enjoyed that shootout, too....I'm like you....probably lots of shooting and very little hitting.

 

[Lee]

To each his own. The movie really only got exciting toward the end with the gun battle. I particularly thought the way Costner's character just strode up to that fancy-pants, whipped out his revolver, pointed it and shot the guy without any drama at all was striking. Probably the way most gun altercations started and ended. The gun battle at the end seemed pretty authentic, too. My problem with the movie is its pace: Slow and not very exciting.

Great gunfight scene and more realistic or plausible than most. I loved the scene where Costner says "Are you the one that shot our friend?" they really took some time with the gunfight scene no one shooting anyone between the eyes at 50 paces with a Colt Peacemaker and there were lots of missed shots and panic fire. I liked the way Costner's character coached "Boss" about who he would go after first telling him he would know him when he saw him as in the most firearms proficient one of the lot. Even the shot fired on the guy who was holding the Doc's sister was realistic in that Costner's character closed the distance before he took that dangerous shot. The other one I really liked was when Costner shot the guy hiding in the doorway in his foot. Now that was thinking on the quick IMO.

 

[AUG]

I'll definitely have to agree with The Quick and the Dead, but I generally stay away from movies that I can tell are going to be bad and there's not too many bad westerns I can think of, at least out of all that I have seen. Although, compare to others here, maybe the range of western movies I have seen doesn't even scratch the surface

Just thought of another. Young Guns. An 80s western about Billy the Kid and the Regulators in the Lincoln Country War. Very unrealistic film, one of the things I hated the most was that they combined 80s guitar rock music in with a western film about Billy the Kid. Who ever thought that would be a good idea!?

 

[JPK Huson 1863]

Ha! Yes, vindicated, thank you. Where the H*LL anyone discovered what appears to be a Dutch Warm Blood out on the open range, or God forbid yes, a pindly-legged thoroughbred with feet the size of a teacup would be anyone's guess. The bit in Westerns where they've got one of these things at a full gallop, ( rider straight up in the saddle, too, don't get me started ) with the time line for hours, also just NO. And boy, if Hollywood would pay the slightest attention to the world we actually live in, they could observe exactly how long it might take to settle the wilds out of a mustang- we still HAVE a few desperately in need of homes.

Here's something which tends to show up in the awful Westerns, which they pay attention to ( mostly ) in the good ones. Where if there's a raucous female heroine, who knows her way around firearms, she's always a piddly little stringy thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm kinda on the stringy side, not exactly weak, but they have them shooting various firearms which would break my collar bone or wrist, or knock me on my stringy you-know-what. I'm still living down the bruise on my forehead from a few years ago, thought I could deal with one of my husband's handguns.... . He LAUGHED. We're still married, the point being some of these films have Donna Reeds ( and assorted Grannies ) shooting them thar 'Injuns and Black Bart with impunity.

OH, as a western it was awful, as a short-lived program it was as fall-down funny as anything else Tim Conway did. Anyone remember ' Rango '?

 

[carson_reb]

Blazing Saddles--everytime I watch it my sides hurt afterwards from laughing so hard.

Yup. It is so bad that it's hilarious.