Forrest Mary Ann Montgomery Forrest

[Stiles/Akin]

https://www.civilwarwomenblog.com/mary-ann-montgomery-forrest/

 

[7th Mississippi Infantry]

https://www.civilwarwomenblog.com/mary-ann-montgomery-forrest/

Great link @Stiles/Akin!

Thanks for posting.

We have many conversations about Mary Ann.
Here's an intersting ten page thread:

https://civilwartalk.com/threads/mary-ann-montgomery-forrest.106263/#post-875931

 

[Equestriangirl93]

Thank you for posting!!! I haven't read anything about Forrest's wife until now....

 

[7th Mississippi Infantry]

Thank you for posting!!! I haven't read anything about Forrest's wife until now....

They had one of the most interesting & successful marriages of the time.

Their relationship was not the norm during that era.

Mary Ann was from the Antebellum White Southern Polite Society . . . and Nathan Bedford was considered almost "White Trash" .

I still scratch my head about how those two ever pulled it off, but they did.

And it worked !

Paging @diane , she's the expert when it comes to the details.

 

[diane]

Hi!

I've always thought Mary Ann and Forrest had one of the best marriages of the Civil War. The Cowan family had moved to the upscale Horn Lake area above Hernando, MS from east Tennessee. She had been to the Nashville Female Academy and was well educated, sophisticated, had her own money left from her deceased father, and was deeply Christian. Her uncle, a minister, was her guardian - she and her mother lived with him. Forrest, at that time, was a businessman in Hernando, in addition to being in the livery and stock trade was also constable/coroner of DeSoto County. He had a few months of education and that was about it. He had never met her but it's highly unlikely he did not notice her around town - she was a very lovely lady. She likely noticed him, too - he was unusually tall and good-looking, not too easy to miss. But, he had also made the newspaper, as it were, in a gigantic free-for-all and gunfight in the middle of the plaza at Hernando where his uncle had been killed and he had killed two of the four attackers. Well...her uncle knew a good deal more about Forrest than that - he was a gambler and not particularly religious, known to have a quick temper. The good reverend thought his niece could do better. He allowed several gentlemen to court her but Forrest was not among them. He may have asked to see her and been turned down by uncle - at any rate, they weren't likely to make a connection.

But things have a way of working out. One day, Mary Ann and her mother were crossing a flooded creek and became stuck. No matter what they did, the carriage wasn't moving. Two young men were on the other side of the creek laughing. They were also courting Mary Ann and were on their way to church, like the Montgomerys were, so they weren't about to get dirty helping the ladies get out of their predicament. Forrest, not on his way to church but on his way elsewhere, rode by and saw his chance. Never one to let an opportunity escape, he promptly waded into the water and asked the ladies if he could help. Sure! He carried them both to the other side, then went back to the carriage and put his shoulder into it - it came loose and off it went. He then waded back, dripping and muddy, and lit into the two men about their lousy manners and crude behavior until they headed off in a hurry to church. Then he asked Mrs Montgomery if he could see her daughter, which of course was fine with mom!

Well, either uncle wasn't keen on Forrest seeing his niece after they told him what happened, or the two suitors weren't all that far off, at any rate Forrest arrived for his date with Mary Ann and there they were in the sitting room! Mary Ann was not downstairs yet. They snickered and boasted, one was studying for the ministry. Definitely much more of everything that uncle wanted - besides, he was a hillbilly. It's unknown what happened after that was said...but when Mary Ann came down, there was only one man sitting on the sofa waiting for her! I figure she was just waiting for her uncle's choices to clear out, and they would if Forrest was really interested in her - she knew what she was doing waiting up there. He didn't waste any time, promptly proposed to her but got no answer. He then said he would be back in a few days with a marriage license. When he asked the uncle, he said, "I can't consent to it, Bedford. You cuss and gamble and Mary Ann is a Christian girl!" "I know it,"said Forrest, " and that is why I want her." Uncle gave in and officiated at the wedding, which went off quite happily!

They were married in 1847, moved to Memphis and set up housekeeping on Adams Street. Willie and his sister Fanny were born, but Fanny died at 5 of typhoid. There had been complications after the second birth so there were no more children, and Mary Ann was always delicate in health. By all accounts they had a contented and happy marriage. The only thing they argued about was his gambling - he played often and for big, even huge, stakes. More than one person was surprised about how deferential he was to her, and he was very careful to be sure she was never alone or without anything she needed. Couldn't have had a more devoted husband - in fact, one of his early biographers said "the general worshipped the ground she walked upon." She was a pillar of strength to him and very stable - she was the only one who could control his amazing temper (or who had the nerve to try!) and she knew how to manage him. This was something he knew better than anyone he needed. During the war, she was very valuable to him. Sometimes, when he had been in a severe combat and was totally wound up, he was very dangerous even though the battle was over - he was liable to shoot anyone for anything! That's when his aides would say, "Get Old Missus." She was the only one who could settle him down. She was always as close by as he would let her be, and his troops had great respect for her and appreciated her kindness to them. Forrest believed, after the war was over, the only reason he had survived was because his "Guardian Angel" as he called her had been praying for him. As his health declined after the war, he became more and more dependent on her. The happiest moment for her was when he finally became a Christian and was baptized into the church.

Forrest's fortunes didn't take an upturn any time after the war. He had failures in the railroad business and a number of other financial difficulties, but would never touch her money even when she offered it. Eventually they had to sell the house on Adams Street - the new owners moved in before they moved out, in fact! - and Forrest bought a dogtrot cabin from his old plantation. This he put on President's Island where he tried to grow corn. It burned down, leaving the Forrests homeless, and they moved into his brother Jesse's home where he died a couple months later. He had a long and very debilitating illness - diabetes caused damage to the nerves in the digestive system and he pretty much starved to death, only weighed 100 pounds at the time of his death. Mary Ann took care of him all through it, which was a lot of effort. His last words were, "Call my wife."

After Forrest's death, Mary Ann moved in with her widowed son, Willie, and his four kids. She helped him raise them. She was also very active in taking care of disabled veterans and their families, care-taking of Confederate cemeteries and helping the widows and orphans of that war. She had done this with her husband and continued these activities after he passed. She was 41 at the time he died, but never remarried. Her own health issues, which aren't exactly clear beyond 'female troubles', worsened and she died in 1893 at the age of 67 at her son's home in Tupelo.

 

[dixie1861]

Hi!

I've always thought Mary Ann and Forrest had one of the best marriages of the Civil War. The Cowan family had moved to the upscale Horn Lake area above Hernando, MS from east Tennessee. She had been to the Nashville Female Academy and was well educated, sophisticated, had her own money left from her deceased father, and was deeply Christian. Her uncle, a minister, was her guardian - she and her mother lived with him. Forrest, at that time, was a businessman in Hernando, in addition to being in the livery and stock trade was also constable/coroner of DeSoto County. He had a few months of education and that was about it. He had never met her but it's highly unlikely he did not notice her around town - she was a very lovely lady. She likely noticed him, too - he was unusually tall and good-looking, not too easy to miss. But, he had also made the newspaper, as it were, in a gigantic free-for-all and gunfight in the middle of the plaza at Hernando where his uncle had been killed and he had killed two of the four attackers. Well...her uncle knew a good deal more about Forrest than that - he was a gambler and not particularly religious, known to have a quick temper. The good reverend thought his niece could do better. He allowed several gentlemen to court her but Forrest was not among them. He may have asked to see her and been turned down by uncle - at any rate, they weren't likely to make a connection.

But things have a way of working out. One day, Mary Ann and her mother were crossing a flooded creek and became stuck. No matter what they did, the carriage wasn't moving. Two young men were on the other side of the creek laughing. They were also courting Mary Ann and were on their way to church, like the Montgomerys were, so they weren't about to get dirty helping the ladies get out of their predicament. Forrest, not on his way to church but on his way elsewhere, rode by and saw his chance. Never one to let an opportunity escape, he promptly waded into the water and asked the ladies if he could help. Sure! He carried them both to the other side, then went back to the carriage and put his shoulder into it - it came loose and off it went. He then waded back, dripping and muddy, and lit into the two men about their lousy manners and crude behavior until they headed off in a hurry to church. Then he asked Mrs Montgomery if he could see her daughter, which of course was fine with mom!

Well, either uncle wasn't keen on Forrest seeing his niece after they told him what happened, or the two suitors weren't all that far off, at any rate Forrest arrived for his date with Mary Ann and there they were in the sitting room! Mary Ann was not downstairs yet. They snickered and boasted, one was studying for the ministry. Definitely much more of everything that uncle wanted - besides, he was a hillbilly. It's unknown what happened after that was said...but when Mary Ann came down, there was only one man sitting on the sofa waiting for her! I figure she was just waiting for her uncle's choices to clear out, and they would if Forrest was really interested in her - she knew what she was doing waiting up there. He didn't waste any time, promptly proposed to her but got no answer. He then said he would be back in a few days with a marriage license. When he asked the uncle, he said, "I can't consent to it, Bedford. You cuss and gamble and Mary Ann is a Christian girl!" "I know it,"said Forrest, " and that is why I want her." Uncle gave in and officiated at the wedding, which went off quite happily!

They were married in 1847, moved to Memphis and set up housekeeping on Adams Street. Willie and his sister Fanny were born, but Fanny died at 5 of typhoid. There had been complications after the second birth so there were no more children, and Mary Ann was always delicate in health. By all accounts they had a contented and happy marriage. The only thing they argued about was his gambling - he played often and for big, even huge, stakes. More than one person was surprised about how deferential he was to her, and he was very careful to be sure she was never alone or without anything she needed. Couldn't have had a more devoted husband - in fact, one of his early biographers said "the general worshipped the ground she walked upon." She was a pillar of strength to him and very stable - she was the only one who could control his amazing temper (or who had the nerve to try!) and she knew how to manage him. This was something he knew better than anyone he needed. During the war, she was very valuable to him. Sometimes, when he had been in a severe combat and was totally wound up, he was very dangerous even though the battle was over - he was liable to shoot anyone for anything! That's when his aides would say, "Get Old Missus." She was the only one who could settle him down. She was always as close by as he would let her be, and his troops had great respect for her and appreciated her kindness to them. Forrest believed, after the war was over, the only reason he had survived was because his "Guardian Angel" as he called her had been praying for him. As his health declined after the war, he became more and more dependent on her. The happiest moment for her was when he finally became a Christian and was baptized into the church.

Forrest's fortunes didn't take an upturn any time after the war. He had failures in the railroad business and a number of other financial difficulties, but would never touch her money even when she offered it. Eventually they had to sell the house on Adams Street - the new owners moved in before they moved out, in fact! - and Forrest bought a dogtrot cabin from his old plantation. This he put on President's Island where he tried to grow corn. It burned down, leaving the Forrests homeless, and they moved into his brother Jesse's home where he died a couple months later. He had a long and very debilitating illness - diabetes caused damage to the nerves in the digestive system and he pretty much starved to death, only weighed 100 pounds at the time of his death. Mary Ann took care of him all through it, which was a lot of effort. His last words were, "Call my wife."

After Forrest's death, Mary Ann moved in with her widowed son, Willie, and his four kids. She helped him raise them. She was also very active in taking care of disabled veterans and their families, care-taking of Confederate cemeteries and helping the widows and orphans of that war. She had done this with her husband and continued these activities after he passed. She was 41 at the time he died, but never remarried. Her own health issues, which aren't exactly clear beyond 'female troubles', worsened and she died in 1893 at the age of 67 at her son's home in Tupelo.

I love anything related to Forrest! He was such a character, and his wife seems like such an angel!
You are certainly the expert on Forrest!!!

 

[donna]

diane always has such interesting posts. She is the expert on Forrest and all things Forrest. They were such a great couple. One of the great loves of all time.

 

[AshleyMel]

Yes Stiles/Akin, thank you for posting!
And thank you Diane for sharing your knowledge!
We are so blessed to have such great members!

 

[Equestriangirl93]

Wow!! Amazing story!! Thank you so much for sharing @diane!!!!

 

[mofederal]

It is a very unique love story, and well worth the reading. It gives us all hope that we can at least aspire to such a love.

 

[7th Mississippi Infantry]

It gives us all hope that we can at least aspire to such a love.

@mofederal, So true !

 

[diane]

Forrest would have been a pretty hard man without Mary Ann, that's fairly certain. The Gould/Forrest Affair is another example. He had his headquarters in Columbia, and had her tucked away outside of town at the Galloways house. He didn't want her to be disturbed by all the comings and goings of his command. Then a rider came roaring up to the house, shouting that the general had been shot and was gunning for the guy who shot him. Mary Ann and Willie jumped into a carriage and went full speed into town, hearing shots being fired on their arrival. Willie took his mom upstairs to the rooms Forrest was using, and when he came in she was right there. He had left Gould lying in an alley and was covered in blood, not at all in a mood to help the lieutenant. But when he saw her his mind civilized and he immediately sent doctors to Gould, and paid for everything.

He didn't give her much of a romantic proposal but he did make a promise to her. "I will protect you and I will take care of you." He never broke that promise. And she did the same for him. Forrest, in a letter to his son, told him not to follow his example but to follow his mother's. "If I have been wicked, look to your mother for guidance."

 

[donna]

diane another great story.

 

[Cavalry Charger]

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and how sad that his twin sister and daughter, both named Frances, died from the same disease. Frances is one of my middle names, so it holds a special place in my heart.

And the relationship between Forrest and his wife rivals one I have become so enamoured with ...

 

[diane]

This is an excerpt from Forrest's letter to his son with the exact quote - it tells how he felt about both his son and wife:

"...I have had a full understanding with your mother as to our future operations in the event the enemy overruns this country. She will acquaint you with our plans and will look to you in the hour of trouble. Be to her a prop and support. She is worthy of all the love you bestow upon her. I know how devoted you are to her, but study her happiness above and beyond all things, give her no cause for unhappiness. Try to emulate her noble virtues and to practice her blameless life. If I have been wicked and sinful myself, it would rejoice my heart to see you leading the Christian life which has adorned your Mother's."

 

[dixie1861]

This is an excerpt from Forrest's letter to his son with the exact quote - it tells how he felt about both his son and wife:

"...I have had a full understanding with your mother as to our future operations in the event the enemy overruns this country. She will acquaint you with our plans and will look to you in the hour of trouble. Be to her a prop and support. She is worthy of all the love you bestow upon her. I know how devoted you are to her, but study her happiness above and beyond all things, give her no cause for unhappiness. Try to emulate her noble virtues and to practice her blameless life. If I have been wicked and sinful myself, it would rejoice my heart to see you leading the Christian life which has adorned your Mother's."

That is so sweet. Even though Forrest was pretty rough around the edges, he cared for his family so much.

Was this written during or after the war? Or before?

 

[diane]

That is so sweet. Even though Forrest was pretty rough around the edges, he cared for his family so much.

Was this written during or after the war? Or before?

This was a letter written to his son just before his surrender at Citronelle, Alabama. It was customary in that day for a father to write a letter of advice to his son upon the boy's entrance into manhood but Forrest's paternal letter was a little ahead of schedule because he didn't know what was going to happen to him. Yes, just about everything Forrest did in his life was geared toward improving the odds for his family. He made sure his younger brothers received more education than he had and was especially proud of his youngest brother Jeffrey - he was putting Jeffrey through college. Then the war came... Nothing went well thereafter!

 

[donna]

What a caring husband and family man. He had a side people don't realize. Devotion and tenderness for his loved ones.