Understood and agree - they were different geopolitical and strategic situations, yet the reality remains, the US utterly destroyed the rebellion 1861-65, which is pretty much the definition of total war, certainly in terms of aims.
The Europeans were fighting limited wars with limited aims that amounted (essentially) to border wars writ large in the same period; it took until the Twentieth Century for the (modern) Europeans to start aiming for unconditional surrenders, and even then, they didn't get one in 1918.
If you only look at war goals then most rebellions are total wars, and they are not.
Ever read about the Napoleonic Wars? by 1814 and in 1815 they only had one goal, the surrender of Napoleon.
You got to compare rebellions with rebellions and wars between sovereign states with war between sovereigns states.
Also if the rebellion was utterly destroyed, why did the black population still get killed during reconstruction and until at least to the 1960ties... The Union managed to destroy the conventional military forced of the CSA... nothing more.
The unconditional surrender and Germany and Japan in 1945 allowed the US to extensively change society of the two countries... Sure the destruction of slavery was a huge change... but it didn't remove racism or the idea of ****... and the black population still had another round to fight in the 1960ties... and they are still on average poor than whites and... well better stay clear of the obvious modern politics issued that are still not solved...
This was a rebellion, sure it was bigger, but in effect no difference than the rebellions in Europe in 1830, 1849 or for that matter in 1871... Government forced against rebels... and they usually end in the rebels getting destroyed.
And the CSA never surrendered to the Union... and the Union would never have accepted one, since that would in effect have been an reorganization of the CSA.
Also until 1863 there where really only one condition - rejoin the union and the war end.
After 1863 the end of slavery was added at a war goal.
This was not a demand for unconditional surrender... just two conditions that the south was not willing to accept.