Another (Confederate) Mark Twain?

[Reconstructed Rebel]

I like my humor dry and deadpan, much like that employed by Mark Twain, and Private Ralph Smith, CSA, has the same gift I think. Smith became a minister after the war, and after reading his reminiscences, I would bet his sermons were enjoyed by his whole congregation. The best diaries and memoirs IMO are the ones written with a little humility and a lot of humor and honesty that spares no one, friend or foe.

Smith tells it like it was in this short 28 page reminiscence, so for anyone who needs a smile, here is a little something to read.

Reminiscences of the civil war, and other sketches : Smith, Ralph J., 1840-1913 : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

50 leaves, [1] leaf of plates : 26 cm

archive.org

 

[archieclement]

Mark Twain was Confederate. Least sort of he joined the pro south Missouri State Guard.

 

[jackadven]

Mark Twain was Confederate. Least sort of he joined the pro south Missouri State Guard.

Spent most of his time hiding from Union soldiers, as I recall.

 

[Reconstructed Rebel]

Mark Twain was Confederate. Least sort of he joined the pro south Missouri State Guard.

You are so right! I will correct my heading

 

[Sheltowee]

He writes that they were ordered to the front on "the 22nd of March, 1861". Reckon he meant 1862.

 

[Reconstructed Rebel]

He writes that they were ordered to the front on "the 22nd of March, 1861". Reckon he meant 1862.

He surely did as he is going to Shiloh. Good catch @Sheltowee

 

[damYankee]

A few Clément's quotes about his Civil War experience

Colonel Ralls, of Mexican War celebrity, swore us in. He made us swear to uphold the flag and Constitution of the United States, and to destroy every other military organization that we caught doing the same thing, which, being interpreted, means that we were to repel invasion. Well, you see, this mixed us. We couldn't really tell which side we were on, but we went into camp and left it to the God of Battles. For that was the term then. I was made Second Lieutenant and Chief Mogul of a company of eleven men, who knew nothing about-war - nor anything, for we had no Captain. My friend, who was 19 years old, 6 feet high, 3 feet wide, and some distance through, and just out of the infant school, was made Orderly Sergeant. His name was Ben Tupper. He had a hard time. When he was mounted and on the march he used to go to sleep, and his horse would reach around and bite him on the leg, and then he would wake up and cry and curse, and want to go home.

"Some of the other town boys got to grumbling. They complained that there was an insufficiency of umbrellas. So I sent around to the farmers and borrowed what I could. Then they complained that the Worcestershire sauce was out. There was mutiny and dissatisfaction all around, and, of course, here came the enemy pestering us again - as much as two hours before breakfast, too, when nobody wanted to turn out, of course. This was a little too much. The whole command felt insulted. I detached one of my aides and sent him to the brigadier, and asked him to assign us a district where there wasn't so much bother going on. The history of our campaign was laid before him, but instead of being touched by it, what did he do? He sent back an indignant message and said: 'You have had a dozen chances inside of two weeks to capture the enemy, and he is still at large. (Well, we knew that! ) Stay where you are this time, or I will court-martial and hang the whole lot of you.'

We were the first men that went into the service in Missouri; we were the first that went out of it anywhere. This, gentlemen, is the history of the part which my division took in the great rebellion, and such is the military record of its Commander-in-Chief, and this is the first time that the deeds of those warriors have been brought officially to the notice of mankind.