Ancestry Question...

[BCS1973]

I have a hunch about ancestry dot com and hoping someone can prove or disprove my hunch. If you message someone, they reply, and you have a brief back and forth you will end up with a bunch of "read at ..." messages. When future messages just say "delivered" for a long time, does that mean you have been blocked/ghosted? I've had that happen at times, but recently I had one happen where I was discussing a certain person's lineage, and all went dark within minutes of revealing what I knew. I later figured out that a similar thing happened when I attempted the same conversation a year earlier with the person they said would contact me soon. It seemed odd to me that I was looking for information to confirm a highly suspected but rather distant relation based on military and pension records and all of a sudden I became persona no talk to.

 

[lupaglupa]

I have not had a lot of success using the Ancestry messaging system. Many people seem to have their accounts set with no notifications so if they don't log into Ancestry they don't see that they have a message. Even with notifications on, mine don't always work and I've missed seeing messages for long periods. I'm on Ancestry pretty much every day so if I'm missing things, you can imagine what happens with people who are casual users.

But technical issues aside, I have also had people cut off contact with me when I brought up information they didn't like. It's human nature.

 

[Josh The Lighthouse Guy]

In a decade of working at a historical society the number of times I've spoken with someone (often in person) about their connection to the local area, given them my business card, and been told they would contact me is vastly larger than the number of times I've ever heard back.

I imagine if the Ancestry Message Center says "delivered" instead of "read" the person hasn't actually read the message. Whether they didn't notice the message or their subscription expired or they got bored with genealogy or they're ignoring you is hard to say.

 

[Harms88]

I've only once had success in reaching someone when I've reached out about obtaining records on someone. That was the Pennsylvania Historical Society. And that was to let me know that as far as they were aware, no search person existed even though I had found his name listed on one of Pennsylvania's 90-Day Regiments rosters.

 

[BCS1973]

...I have also had people cut off contact with me when I brought up information they didn't like. It's human nature.

I'm thinking that might be what happened here. I had shared a piece of information with someone a while back in the hopes that they could offer some enlightment on a particular person that may be an ancester of mine as well. I never realized that, "hey I'm 90% sure you have an ancestor who's name is on the bronze plaque at G-burg next to my ancestor's" was a touchy subject. Theyu read it but I got no response, but when I did fully confirm it I shot them a message that they never read.

Fast forward a year, and I come across someone else with the same info. We happened to both be on at the same time and conversing back and forth on the subject. She told me that the family line in question belonged to her cousin and told me her name and said she'd contact me. I recognized the name. Then the lady told me she had texted my message to her cousin. 5 minutes later I sent two quick messages to her that have never been read.

Something that I was on the verge of dismissing, now has me very curious.

 

[A. Roy]

I've also found that messaging on Ancestry is hit-or-miss. Most messages I've sent have never been answered. As with @Joshism, I've had the same thing happen with 'real-life' contacts. Sometimes I hear back from someone, but most times not. It could be just that people are busy, or their interest is just casual. Maybe, too, there are some folks who feel threatened by new information contrary to their preconceptions. I did have a very good response one time from someone on Ancestry, which led to extensive email discussions about her family, as the person I was researching was formerly enslaved and related to her.
ARB

 

[Josh The Lighthouse Guy]

I think also sometimes you message someone with a question they can't answer. When someone doesn't have an answer, can't provide any further information, or doesn't know how to react ghosting is the easiest solution. Many people don't want to admit errors or ignorance and/or are conflict adverse ("conflict" may be in the absence of any hostility on your part).

 

[JackADriscoll]

And some folks are just solitary.i wouldn't take it personal.

 

[BCS1973]

And some folks are just solitary.i wouldn't take it personal.

@Joshism, I can get that and am OK with it.

@JackADriscoll I get your take as well. I don't think that's the case in this particular incident as it went from a "willing to help" tone to darkness Right Now. I have a hard time hating people, so I take very little personally. This one was just weird in a somewhat tragically comedic sense. I do wonder though, if you have been blocked by someone with a public tree, can you still see it, because I can, they just ceased communication.

 

[JackADriscoll]

@Joshism, I can get that and am OK with it.

@JackADriscoll I get your take as well. I don't think that's the case in this particular incident as it went from a "willing to help" tone to darkness Right Now. I have a hard time hating people, so I take very little personally. This one was just weird in a somewhat tragically comedic sense. I do wonder though, if you have been blocked by someone with a public tree, can you still see it, because I can, they just ceased communication.

Or maybe they get on just occasionally and will respond when they get on

 

[Story]

The DOORS covered this issue, 102 years after the war ended.

 

[DixieRifles]

I've had good success with making contact especially when it is a DNA match. I told the story here before about how I found my Daughter's birth father. I was building my granddaughter's tree and entered her DNA. I got a hit for a possible Aunt. I contacted her and she carried on a conversation and then I said I think there is someone in your family who is a father to my adopted daughter. The lady came right back with: I have 3 brothers; I will ask them. All my clues matched up with the story of one of her brothers.

I have tried to make other contacts. Most work out. I was trying to find someone who was related to a WW2 GI who is in several of my Father's photos. I was almost sure I found a family member but they never replied to me. Maybe they let their subscription expire.