A request for proof reading

Although an edit would strengthen your article, I think what you're really looking for is a fact-checker, which is not the same as a proofreader. Proofreading is the last stage of editing and is done after an article is both edited and fact-checked.

Bingo, but I will take what I can get. This is the first very rough draft, just to get my thoughts and time line down on paper. If I gave it to my editor, she would laugh and throw it at me at this stage.

DAve
 
A source I'd recommend is this first-hand account of a member of the 61st Illinois Infantry: https://books.google.com/books?id=LBUVPQAACAAJ&dq="61st+Illinois+infantry"&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiHtYCv66TjAhVYVs0KHWXFCGcQ6AEIKjAA

I haven't read it but it will probably give you a much more immediate and authoritative perspective on what happened than these tertiary online sources.

I can recommend it highly. I think you would enjoy it if you like to read about the non-battle camp life as much as the battles. I do, and found it full of interesting tidbits. It was my primary source.

DAve
 
Good article but these are a few grammatical problems I found.
There seems to be missing a word here.

I don't think "regiment" should be capitalized and it's inconsistent because it's not in the previous quote.

"Retake" should be retook since you don't want to switch tense.

The quote of the unknown officer is directly from Stillwell's book. Page 43.
Editor agrees on regiment.
Tense, it is the first thing I go back and correct when I finish the first drafts. I am terrible about that, thank you.

Compare seven o`clock with 2 o’clock. Both should be o'clock? And 2 should be two?

Noted, and fixed.

Hello @yellowhousejake and welcome to CivilWarTalk - the best place on the internet for Civil War discussion. You've come to the right place to obtain assistance with your summary. I have a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful. First of all, the word Shiloh, in reference to the battle of Shiloh, has an "h" on the end. So instead of Shilo, it should be spelled Shiloh.
Brigadier General Adley H Gladden had 5 regiments and a battery of artillery in his one brigade. Gladden was mortally wounded but Im afraid dont know enough about the battle of Shiloh to know if he was wounded early on or if he was still in command at the time referenced in your article.
I may be mistaken, but I believe the members of the 61st Illinois would have been carrying their cartridges in a cartridge box that was worn suspended from a cross-body strap as illustrated in the reenactor pictured below.

Shiloh corrected, silly typing error on my part.
Cartridge boxes. Well, I know better. Fixed.
Gladden and brigades. I am not sure I would have caught that. Thank you.

Others have already mention the cartridge belts.

"armed with their new Austrian rifles"
Where the actual arms actually new? I would expect that they where rather old and used surplussed arms.
So I guess the point is that they where newly issued? or that they just received them?

"brown line of Rebels"
Where that specific csa unit wearing brown? (and not civilian clothing? or some colorful early war uniforms?)

"They were sent to support Richardson’s Battery of artillery"
IF the expected readers are people who know about the war, there is no reason to explain that the battery is "of artillery" They will know that a battery is not infantry or cavalry. If the expected readers are ordinary Americans... then likely a good idea to include it.

"supporting the battery of artillery "
No mater who the reader is, they now know that you are talking about artillery. So no need to repeat it.

The Austrian rifles were new to them. I do not know if they were new issue or not. I suspect not, but Don Dixon would know if I want to pursue that.

Brown line of rebels is directly from Stillwell's book. Page 45.

I included artillery for that exact reason. My audience may not know. Corrected in the second instance.

The Confederate commander, until he was killed near the Hornet's Nest, was Albert Sidney Johnston. Union armies and departments were named for rivers, like Grant's Army of the Tennessee; Confederate ones were named for geographical areas - hence there should be NO "the" in Army of Mississippi.

Corrected Johnston's name and the Army's name.

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I think I am happy with the content. It is brief so the publisher may create a sidebar from it, I do not know at this point. I appreciate the input and I can guess that it is historically accurate for what we know of the battle today?

I still need to correct sentence structure, some punctuation, and deal with commas. I am mostly a story teller and I write as I speak, which drives my editor nuts. I have been trying to get a handle on that for years ;^)
 
I can recommend it highly. I think you would enjoy it if you like to read about the non-battle camp life as much as the battles. I do, and found it full of interesting tidbits. It was my primary source.

DAve

Oh sorry I didn't see you said that in the original comment. Anyway that's a great source and it's the type of thing you should make clear you're quoting in the text of the article. It lends you a lot of credibility to be directly quoting an eye-witness.
 
Bingo, but I will take what I can get. This is the first very rough draft, just to get my thoughts and time line down on paper. If I gave it to my editor, she would laugh and throw it at me at this stage. DAve

I used to be an editor, and I never threw a book at an author :hug: Good luck with your article!
 
I want to make a correction, just in case anyone else co,es to this thread in research. Forum member "63rd Indiana" asked me for my source that they were the relief column of General Buell. I checked and that is a typo. It was the 36th Indiana.

I can't seem to edit the post, so this correction will have to do.

Thank you 63rdIndiana!

DAve
 
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