The Largest Toad In The Puddle

[NH Civil War Gal]

This is from the great FB post of "Spared and Shared" which I encourage you all to follow.

To me, Barzilla shows great wisdom and sadness about the whole war.

THE LARGEST TOAD IN THE PUDDLE.

I'm finding the letters of Barzilla Merrill (Co. K, 154th New York) very interesting. Much older than the average enlistee, Barzilla shares a perspective on the war quite different than the majority of the letters that were written by young men half his age. In a letter I transcribed this morning, datelined from "Camp near Fredericksburg" on New Years Day 1863, Barzilla wrote his wife:

Ruba, I have though for some time that I would write to you a little about how the war is moving. Maybe you will call me a secesh but this ain't so. I love my country and its government and I feel like weeping over the deplorable condition that we as a nation are in this pleasant New Years morning. What shall I say? I lack words to describe. One thing I will say and I think that I will be safe in the statement, and that is this: unless God by His almighty power interposes, we are lost as a nation. I never was more disappointed in my life than I was when I came down here and see how this thing run. So far as the soldiers are concerned, they have come forth nobly and they have come with the intention to help crush the rebellion and save the Union. Well, where shall I place the blame? Right where it belongs---on our leading [military] men. They don't seem to think of the government or the good of the soldiers. They think of the large pay and they seem to be jealous of each other. They all seem to want to be the largest toad in the puddle. Consequently when one makes a move, another will try and take off his head. This is generally done and generrally to the expense of the lives of a great many men. I think that I am correct in this statement. Now, what is the result? The result is the soldiers are becoming discouraged and disheartened. I have heard men that have been in all through the service say that they were sick and discouraged and did not never want to go in another battle. All seem to be of the opinion that have been disappointed...

...Judging from appearances, I am rather inclined to think that we fall back until spring. Then have this ground to go over again. But this I don't know. It is only my opinion. Men are sickening and dying and they are badly exposed to the weather. Our tents are poor and that makes a poor place to sleep and I think before there is much more done, our [forces] will [be] considerably diminished by sickness and death. There could never have been better weather for this business than it has been since I have been here and what has been done---nothing. No, this statement ain't right. There has been lots of our men killed. Now it is so late that it ain't safe to advance on account of our artillery and baggage wagons. And another thing, the government teams are poor and jaded out so I don't see as we can do much more this winter---only to fall back and prolong the thing. All this is only my notion of the thing. It won't cost much. I don't know as it would be best for you to show this to anyone. I might write more on this subject, but let this suffice while I write today...

I think that the climate here is first rate but the country about here and all where I have been is marked with the destruction of war. It would cost a great deal to put amost any farm that I have seen back in order again. The fences are nearly all burnt up and a great share of the buildings ruined, or nearly so. Our folks made a slaughter so far as property was concerned in Fredericksburg this other day. This looks rather hard to see---our folks coming down here and slaughtering property in this kind of a way. Whether it is right or not, I don't know. The wood lots that have been left on farms are being cut down for wood, men that own farms are gone somewhere. There is but very few settlers left anywhere that I have seen. And allowing me to judge, things are getting in a very bad shape. I think that we would not very well like to have our home and property served in this kind of a way. I admit that the South began this, but the right ones are not being punished. I presume that a large majority of these farmers are loyal men but they are suffering tremendously so the innocent suffer with the guilty. So the thing goes. I have been of the opinion that I should come home next spring but I have about give this up. There is quite a number that their time is out next spring---whole regiments. I wish that the thing might be settled. I think it would be better, materially better, for both sides to have the thing stopped and stop killing folks and let them go to their homes and families. But we as a nation are guilty and we need chastising."

I should have all of Barzilla's transcribed sometime this week along with some written by his son Alva who served in the same company. Both Father and son were killed at Chancellorsville.

 

[R. Porter]

That is so sad.

 

[BCS1973]

"Spared and Shared" is a great follow

 

[bayouace]

Profound insight from one who was there.

 

[NH Civil War Gal]

"Spared and Shared" is a great follow

Yes he is. He has helped me a lot. He is also doing a HUGE service to the Civil War community.

I hope he will be on our CWT Presents in the future. He and I have been chatting and he's pretty much agreed to it.

 

[nc native]

That is an interesting letter and shows the war weariness that many in the North felt before the summer of 1863 when things turned around after Gettysburg and Vicksburg. From a Northern perspective I would say that the winter of 1862-1863 when this letter was written was probably the darkest period of the war.

 

[Sheltowee]

Thanks for the share

 

[Nathan Stuart]

Can understand Barzilla Merrill's disparagement of the high command and the disillusionment he felt when he penned this letter, shortly after the Union slaughter and high casualty count at Fredericksburg.

Thought the sentiments he expressed in his letter probably accurately reflected the low-point in morale felt within the AOP at the time – an atmosphere of prevailing doom and gloom pervaded throughout the ranks.

Conditions for soldiers in the AOP in this period were such, that:-

• many Union field hospitals sprung up, filled with wounded';
• soldiers were lacking in supplies;
• soldiers were unpaid for months;
• discipline suddenly slackened;
• desertions were rising;
• internal dissension among high commanders was noticeable; and
• confidence in the judgements of high command ceased.

Barzilla Merrill enlisted for three years of service in Co. K, 154th. NY Infantry, on Aug. 20, '62, presumably to follow his son (who enlisted for the same period of service in the same unit on July 27, '62). From the text of his letter, it seems the elder Merrill entered into the service of his country, full of ideals. Following the shock of Fredericksburg and the conditions he experienced in its immediate aftermath, thought these ideals appear to have been shattered and were rapidly extinguished.

Thought the tragedy of the senior Merrill's death at Chancellorsville on May 2 was greatly magnified by his son, Alva, being killed on the same day in the same action. (Am curious to know about the specific circumstances of death of both father and son in this same action).

 

[R. Porter]

The comment on the death of father and son erased any intellectual observations I might have rendered upon my first reading of the initial post. I am still at a loss. That piece of information alone conveys the horror of that war or any war. Perhaps I am too tired of losing those close to me or waiting to find out if I am to lose another. I am not in a war so I can't understand that kind of loss, but I know that war has changed this country in ways I can't begin to comprehend. Still, the gains we have accrued as a country and a people seem so small for the sacrifices we have made.

 

[marktwainenjoyer]

At least they went out together