In all honesty he was the epitome of an ego maniac. Who for gods sakes leaves the president of the united states sitting in his parlor and doesn't have the decency to tell the man he is tired and going to bed. Lincoln tolerance is amazing. It shows how despite Lincoln was for a man like Grant.
Yeah. The only problem is that its a single source story (Hay) not corroborated by any of the principles present. Also, if you read etiquette manuals of the period it would be Lincoln being rude, not McClellan.
As I've pointed out elsewhere, Hay's story* indicates McClellan probably never even knew Lincoln was there - Hay says McClellan rushed past his servant paying him no attention and thus probably never knew Lincoln was there. My personal theory would be McClellan was rushing upstairs to urinate, having been drinking at a party and then riding a horse back home.
Anyway:
"
But the supreme insult, and what John Hay called the “unparalleled insolence of epaulettes,” was the reported snub McClellan delivered the president on November 13, 1861. It is the one story that finds its way into virtually every biography of Lincoln or McClellan. According to Hay, he, along with Lincoln and Seward, went to visit the general’s home on Jackson Square to confer with McClellan. When they arrived, the porter informed them that McClellan was out attending the wedding of an officer. Electing to wait, they sat until they heard McClellan arrive home. Then, according to Hay, the general brushed past the parlor, paying no attention to the porter’s announcement of visitors, and went straight upstairs. After a half hour passed, Lincoln reminded the porter they were still waiting to see the general; he received the response that McClellan had already gone to bed. 4 Even the most neutral observer would be forced to think very poorly of McClellan.
Although it may be recorded as but another item in the record of McClellan’s insolence, Hay’s recollection deserves a closer look. The fact that it appears as an incident worth citing in any review of the Lincoln-McClellan relationship points to its significance in the literature. A number of McClellan supporters have tried to mitigate the callous aspects of the event by impugning Hay’s truthfulness or by making excuses for the general’s behavior. 5 In part, these objections are valid, but they have usually been ignored or dismissed. 6 Still, there are many unsettling matters with respect to the use of this story. Most importantly, historians have accepted at face value the integrity of the story, both in its explicit content and in the value Hay placed upon the incident. No one prefaces any narration of the story by relating that this is the “way Hay saw it,” or “according to Hay,” or even “Hay reported.” The story is repeated as is, presumably for its full impact.
The strange thing about that incident is that not one of the principals involved corroborated it in any way. Beyond Hay’s assertion that Lincoln made light of the matter, there is no mention of it in anything Lincoln wrote or said, and the same may be said for Seward. McClellan, who is on record for sharing most of his contempt for the president with his wife, made no mention of it, even though he wrote her the very next day. Such a snub would surely have been worthy of sharing with Ellen. Lincoln did not use the incident, as some have maintained, to stop visiting McClellan’s home and begin summoning the general to the White House. He visited the general on the very next evening, and at least one more time, on the evening of November 18. Shortly after that, McClellan’s wife, with her infant daughter in tow, came to live with the general, and that may have been a factor in the switch in meeting places. Consequently, it seems plausible that the incident, assuming it did occur, came off very differently than described and that it carried none of the general’s insolence or the president’s humiliation that Hay perceived. 7"
Rowland, Thomas J (2008-07-01). George B. McClellan and Civil War History:In the Shadow of Grant and Sherman (Kindle Locations 1036-1060). Kent State University Press. Kindle Edition.
*
"Nov. 13. I wish here to record what I consider a portent of evil to come. The President, Governor S_____ and I went over to McC______'s house to-night. The servant at the door said the General was at the wedding of Col. W_____ at Gen'l B_____'s and would soon return. We went in, and after we had waited about an hour, McC______ came in, and
without paying any particular attention to the porter who told him the President was waiting to see him, went up-stairs, passing the door of the room where the President and Secretary of State were seated. They waited about half an hour, and sent once more a servant to tell the General they were there; and the answer came that the General had gone to bed.
I merely record this unparalleled insolence of epaulettes without comment. It is the first indication I have yet seen of the threatened supremacy of the military authorities.
Coming home I spoke to the President about the matter, but he seemed not to have noticed it, specially, saying it was better, at this time, not to be making points of etiquette and personal dignity."