I had a history professor give us an analogy of the secessionist apologist argument that went something like this: imagine a physically abused wife telling her story to a judge - "my husband nearly beat me to death multiple times during the last five years. Also, he often leaves the toilet seat up". To which the defense council (the southern apologist in our analogy) cries "aha! so its more complicated than a little roughhousing among adults". To which the judge replies: "sigh....".