Peace Society
Sergeant
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2019
- Location
- Ark Mo line
January 17, 1863
The time between the bursting of a shell in front of you & the striking of the fragments on the ground, short as it is, gives rise to the most peculiar feeling I have yet experienced. To get the full benefit you should be standing or lying perfectly idle on the ground in the direction from which the shell is to come. First the sound of the gun, instantly followed by a noise between a whiz & a yell, then say 20 rods [330 ft.] in front and 100 feet in the air, there is the prettiest globe of dense, white smoke the size of a small haycock, eddying & unfolding in all manner of graceful shapes.
This is all you see but you know that from 10 to 200 musket balls and ragged pieces of iron will strike within the next two seconds on the acre of ground on which you stand. You hear the explosion, not so loud as the cannon but a round compact noise, then come the fragments each one according to its shape singing a different note, varying from a sharp whiz to a low, heavy bass. The senses are so wonderfully acute that you seem to hear each one distinctly. There is no use of dodging or moving about. But where will they all strike? Will that little bullet with the shrill, piping voice pierce your body? Will that triangular chap which screams so tear out your bowels with one of his sharp points? Will that big fellow which makes that low, rushing sound be satisfied with an arm or a leg or will he take your head? Will they skip you & take someone else? Perhaps they will go too high - no - too low - no. It is soon decided - thump, rattle, bang, smash, dirt & splinters fly on every side. You are safe but looking around you see from one to a dozen poor fellows rolling headless, or writhing in agony on the ground.
One could not write in all day the thoughts which pass through his mind in those two seconds. One does not need a better opportunity to test his religion. Misdeeds are sure to find their way to the surface. These two seconds explain his spiritual condition better than all the sermons ever preached. If he is afraid to die he knows it & he knows the reason with a certainty which admits of no doubt. Those two seconds may be worth more to a man than all his previous life. If one has done his duty toward himself and he has kept within the limits of his code of morals he will be very thankful. If he has not he will be more careful afterwards how he walks.
While this is passing through your brain you still see and hear all that is going on around you & have the most perfect presence of mind. Perhaps 10 seconds after you are laughing to see a comrade scratching the dust out of his eyes. What would I give if such activity of the mind & such clearness of perception could be continued & I had the power to express my thoughts in language. If you are in motion at the time or busied about anything you will feel nothing like this. It comes & goes instantly.
Journal entry, Charles B. Haydon, 2 MI infantry, 9th corps, Army of the Potomac
For Country, Cause & Leader:
The Civil War Journal of Charles B. Haydon
Ed. Stephen W. Sears
Ticknor & Fields, NY, 1993
p. 306-307
I made an effort to get hold of the printer/editor for permission to post. The publishing company is no longer in operation. It has been more than a year since I wrote for permission to the address in the book, hoping someone was still able to forward, or would at least have the editor still on file.
The time between the bursting of a shell in front of you & the striking of the fragments on the ground, short as it is, gives rise to the most peculiar feeling I have yet experienced. To get the full benefit you should be standing or lying perfectly idle on the ground in the direction from which the shell is to come. First the sound of the gun, instantly followed by a noise between a whiz & a yell, then say 20 rods [330 ft.] in front and 100 feet in the air, there is the prettiest globe of dense, white smoke the size of a small haycock, eddying & unfolding in all manner of graceful shapes.
This is all you see but you know that from 10 to 200 musket balls and ragged pieces of iron will strike within the next two seconds on the acre of ground on which you stand. You hear the explosion, not so loud as the cannon but a round compact noise, then come the fragments each one according to its shape singing a different note, varying from a sharp whiz to a low, heavy bass. The senses are so wonderfully acute that you seem to hear each one distinctly. There is no use of dodging or moving about. But where will they all strike? Will that little bullet with the shrill, piping voice pierce your body? Will that triangular chap which screams so tear out your bowels with one of his sharp points? Will that big fellow which makes that low, rushing sound be satisfied with an arm or a leg or will he take your head? Will they skip you & take someone else? Perhaps they will go too high - no - too low - no. It is soon decided - thump, rattle, bang, smash, dirt & splinters fly on every side. You are safe but looking around you see from one to a dozen poor fellows rolling headless, or writhing in agony on the ground.
One could not write in all day the thoughts which pass through his mind in those two seconds. One does not need a better opportunity to test his religion. Misdeeds are sure to find their way to the surface. These two seconds explain his spiritual condition better than all the sermons ever preached. If he is afraid to die he knows it & he knows the reason with a certainty which admits of no doubt. Those two seconds may be worth more to a man than all his previous life. If one has done his duty toward himself and he has kept within the limits of his code of morals he will be very thankful. If he has not he will be more careful afterwards how he walks.
While this is passing through your brain you still see and hear all that is going on around you & have the most perfect presence of mind. Perhaps 10 seconds after you are laughing to see a comrade scratching the dust out of his eyes. What would I give if such activity of the mind & such clearness of perception could be continued & I had the power to express my thoughts in language. If you are in motion at the time or busied about anything you will feel nothing like this. It comes & goes instantly.
Journal entry, Charles B. Haydon, 2 MI infantry, 9th corps, Army of the Potomac
For Country, Cause & Leader:
The Civil War Journal of Charles B. Haydon
Ed. Stephen W. Sears
Ticknor & Fields, NY, 1993
p. 306-307
I made an effort to get hold of the printer/editor for permission to post. The publishing company is no longer in operation. It has been more than a year since I wrote for permission to the address in the book, hoping someone was still able to forward, or would at least have the editor still on file.