One may gain some insight to the "Uppercrusts" view of the situation by reading "A Diary From Dixie -Mary Boykin Chesnut". Her writings express trepidation and a full realization of what war can bring, but still a zealous need of independence.
Soldiers diaries general start a few weeks or a month after Fort Sumter, but I have found the following a typical expression of the Southern state of mind after Fort Sumter:
The sentiments of James W. Webb of Alabama were typical of many men in the South. “I feel today that death would be preferable to me than to see my country subjugated by our enemy who look upon me as their inferior, to whom I will have to look up. You who will be my witness, I enjoin it on you to teach my children in mildness that they are to treasure in their hearts rebellion, through long years, against a union in government with the Yankee. I honestly trust that my spirit is loyal to my creator, that no feeling of revenge rankles in my heart, that I am commanded alone by a love of constitutional liberty and a desire to uphold civil and religious liberty.”
[1]
Of course, there were those young men that went "for the adventure", but their families certainly realize the possible implications.
"At the landing, the banks of the river were crowded with men, women, children, and servants waiting to see them off. Every heart was filled with grief; every eye was misty with unshed tears. From all over the country they had come – from Selma, Pleasant Hill, Burnsville, Summerfield, Harrell’s Roads, Orrville, and Portland – mothers, sisters, sweethearts, and wives, to bid a last farewell to their loved ones. As the boat floated off from the landing the band played the “Bonnie Blue Flag”. The soldiers shouted, handkerchiefs waved, women wept and watched lovingly until the steamer turned the bend in the river and passed from sight.
"[2]
[2]Confederate Veteran Magazine, Vol. XXIV, May 1916, page 216
[1] Letter of James W. Webb dated February 17, 1862 – Walton Family Papers #1437 in the Southern Historical Collection, University of North Carolina Library, Chapel Hill.