I'm not sure what to think about the article. There are a few head scratchers like it being baffling the engagement was initially broken and some sweeping statements that seem odd. Mary's family disliked Lincoln. He wasn't ' of her class ' for one thing, for another the Todds were Southern with all that went with it at the time- Lincoln wasn't. Families claimed the right to oversee decisions like who offspring married.
I'm genuinely not searching for reasons to question some conclusions but it seems clear that entire era was one where intense modesty pervaded daily life. We have letters preserved because Lincoln became famous, you'd have to think the topic of one's wedding night was a frequent discussion between friends male and female. In our era you can't turn on the TV without feeling we're a little too uninhibited in 2019, this anxiety over what would have been unexplored mysteries is a little nice IMO.
Interesting article though, thanks for posting.