It would be hard to unsee things in your mind that you have actually seen. I can't do it myself, and I don't think that they could either. The smell of death, the colors, the sounds of fire and explosions, screams and cries, yelling, screaming cries of dying horses and the movements of men in a hurry; sights of people who were no longer what they were, the pieces of flesh, the dead eyes gone cloudy and glassy in death. A profound sense of real loss seen in the empty formations and the deep withering sadness. Not something you forget ever. How can you. I am sure the nightmares never left their minds. How could it ever. I know some found ways to forget the horrors. I think they remembered the funny moments, camp life the good times, much as veterans of later wars. PTSD some idea that people did not conceive of, was probably a real thing that affected them. Some probably did forget. But did they ever lose the terrible feeling of sudden loss and the infinite sadness. Some people can, others cannot. I do believe that these men felt obligated to go to the reunions Most joined the GAR, others UCV. I think they felt it was their duty. to us of a later generation, it is a peaceful place and it is a place of beauty. To them it must have been quieter, a silence they had never known there before. It was green, no blood, and a time to erect monuments to men who never had a tomorrow and themselves. Something they had earned with blood. I see it as a place of peace and beauty, love, hate, and a great sense of sadness and loss. I try to think of the patriotism, the love they had for one another, the sense of comradeship, the incredible things they did there for whatever reason they justified in their minds. It is many things to everyone, but to me it is a complicated place, that evokes strong emotions every time I have ever been there.