That's exactly what I was thinking.
If it were up to me, you guys could use any flag of your choice. Or ~ and here's a really off-the-wall thought, brought to you by my 6:30 am, pre-coffee brain ~ perhaps some kind of flag/symbol that includes both sides to signify unification. (I'm sure re-reading this idea at 8:30 pm this evening, I'll be like, "OMG, Lori...
. Quit sniffin' the nag champa.")
But like you said, times have changed. And the last thing any resting place needs is controversy.
My suggestion
is an odd one for sure! And that is why I asked you ~ I knew you would be patient with me.
I wouldn't ask just anyone for fear they'd assume I meant to flippantly place the flag of the victor over the graves of those who lost. (And that is definitely NOT what I meant.) Or assume that I was too dim to realize these are men who fought to separate from the Union.
As far as I'm concerned, they were Americans before, during, and after the war. I don't like to see them go completely unnoticed on a day when others are being honored. If not flags and fanfare, which I would understand not sitting well with everyone, what about flowers?
Something to signify that their loss matters too.
Thank you, Alan, for thinking this out with me and for your kind response.
(And for being patient with my weird ideas.)