" Rebel In The White House ", Emily Todd Takes On Dirty Dan

JPK Huson 1863

Brev. Brig. Gen'l
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
Location
Central Pennsylvania
Now really, anyone, male or female who sticks it to Dirty Dan Sickles is worthy of a second look as more than Mary Todd Lincoln's sister.

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So here we have the First Lady's sister, reeling under widowhood when husband General Ben Hardin Todd fell at Chickamauga zeroed in on by our favorite, well zero. Happiest when playing in the political sludgepile, Old Dan had a field day with Mary Lincoln. You'd have thunk Mary herself wore vials of morphine and secret dispatches in her hoops, taking notes nightly while her husband talked in his sleep. Whined? When Lincoln and Mary invited the young widow ( and orphaned child, Kaherine.... ) to visit, Dan all but rolled artillery into his bedroom, the better to protect himself.

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General Ben fell at Chickamauga, 1863. Sickles, never one to miss an opportunity to twist the knife, informed his widow Confederate soldiers were “scoundrels and ran like scared rabbits” at Chattanooga, 1862. He then had the gall to have his feeling ( singular ) hurt, and complained hugely to her brother in law when Mrs. General Ben Helm snapped, " Confederate soldiers had only “followed the example the Federals had set them at Bull Run and Manassas.”

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General Ben Helm, Emily Todd Helm's sweetheart and husband, fallen at Chickamauga.

One of Mary's closest friends, sister Emily Todd Helm's soft writings have been largely ignored, the impression being not much is known of her. Perhaps not much is printed of her since she seems to have spoken through letters and magazine interviews. What can you say of Emily? She. Was. Loyal.

In the feeding frenzy surrounding her sister, McClure's magazine did an extraordinary thing. McClure's ' thing ' was documentation and sourcing, whether science, biography, literature or social ills McClure's wide stable of professionals lent cache to the name and " McClure's ", to them. Between Lincoln's enemies choosing the wife as a soft target and the vilely vicious William Herndon targeting Mary with plain, old made-up nonsense, she is still vilified today. Why? These articles and books became sourced in articles and books, which became sourced in articles and books- like a Mayflower passenger has a million grandchildren. I get witched at all the time over how dreadful was Mary Lincoln, look at what this source says, and that one and that one. All Mayflower relatives and no one wishes to still long enough to ascertain what in blazes occurred 150 years ago.

Written by Emily Todd Helm

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Mary Todd Lincoln, from McClure's Magazine

Emily Todd was enlisted by McClure's to build fact. What no one stops to consider is the Southern tendency to strong, unbreakable family loyalty, Emily Todd and Mary Todd shared this. Southern women. Emily, in her interview, enlightens readers in this fragment. It's an opening salvo on the part of McClure's demolishing Herndon. For some reason it's all been lost, only it isn't. Possibly merely ignored in favor of crazy, Mean Mary Lincoln, an invention of political enemies ( Dan Sickles, cough ) and one, weasely opportunist 150 years ago. Their other sources will be another thread. There are quite a few.

Post war, Emily was post mistress in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. A copious letter writer, much really is known of her, would anyone but admit it. She was known as " Mother of the ' Orphan Brigade ' ", for tireless support for veterans and anyone else impacted by those awful years, loved her genealogy and maintained her deep love for her sister.
 
I have always found this a particular interesting period in the Lincoln/Todd/Hardin relationship. I feel for all of them - Mr. Lincoln, of course, first met her when she was 10 and lifted her in his arms declaring: “So this is Little Sister”,and Emilie would have no more fear of the “giant”. Mr. Lincoln also worked to get Ben Hardin to join the Union - but it was not to be and then came Chickamauga, and Emilie arrived at the White House for support and a stay.

Then Senator Harris comes a calling specifically asking to speak with Emilie and the course of the conversation turns to Robert Lincoln and his lack of service in the army with Senator Harris stating: “I have only one son and he is fighting for his country” and then turning to Emilie he states “And, Madam, if I had twenty sons they should all be fighting the rebels”. Emilie replies: “And if I had twenty sons, they should all be opposing yours”.

Somewhere in the conversation enters General Dan Sickles and he is shown out the door with Senator Harris, and he decides to report this incident turns around and meets with the President and says: “The child has a tongue like the rest of the Todds.” Lincoln jokes when the general had finished. Sickles was less amused and, slapping his hand against a nearby table he thundered, “You should not have that rebel in your house!” Incensed by the general’s tone, Lincoln was nevertheless calm: “General Sickles, my wife and I are in the habit of choosing our own guests. We do not need from our friends either advice or assistance in the matter.”

Emilie Todd Hardin would depart from the Lincoln’s shortly after the incident to avoid any embarrassment.

And the story goes on: “The final parting between the Lincolns and Little Sister was a hard one. The moment they all stepped outside, the calm they had created within the White House collapsed behind them. Emilie was about to spiral back out into the vortex, and none of them knew when or if they would be together again. “You know Little Sister I tried to have Ben come with me,” Lincoln said as they parted. “I hope you do not feel any bitterness or that I am in any way to blame for all this sorrow.” Emilie assured the president that her husband had loved him but that he had followed his conscience. “For weal or woe”, she said, “we must side with our own people”.

This is how the story is related in the book: House of Abraham - Stephen Berry.

A sad story, but a unfortunately one that I’m sure was common in that time.
 
Thanks for sharing Emily's letter.

I've also lived long enough and had enough humbling experiences in my own life -- for example, my sisters and I having entirely different memories of various experiences in our youths -- that I do not trust Emily's recollections 100%. Especially the bit implying that there was no broken engagement.

I have a hard time imagining Mary as "cheerful" -- but then, she very well may have been, before the death of little Eddie. The biographers always pass over Eddie's death as if it were no big deal, especially compared to the later loss of Willie, but Eddie was an adorable little 3-year-old, and I have seen women who underwent radical personality changes after the death of a child much younger than Eddie was when he died. It may be that Mary's troubles in the marriage date from that early loss. And then, of course, by the time the photos were taken in which Mary has a pained, pinched look on her face, she'd endured Willie's death, the death of half-brothers and in-laws, a carriage accident that gave her lasting, constant headaches, and of course, the wartime presidency.

I do think many commentators miss the significance of Mary's intelligence, education, the passion for poetry and theatre that she shared with her husband, and especially, her keen interest in politics. That combination was, sadly, rare in women of those days, and I can easily understand Lincoln's attraction to her. But I'm not even going to try to deny that she was a very trying woman, just as he was a very trying husband.
 
Thanks for sharing Emily's letter.

I've also lived long enough and had enough humbling experiences in my own life -- for example, my sisters and I having entirely different memories of various experiences in our youths -- that I do not trust Emily's recollections 100%. Especially the bit implying that there was no broken engagement.

I have a hard time imagining Mary as "cheerful" -- but then, she very well may have been, before the death of little Eddie. The biographers always pass over Eddie's death as if it were no big deal, especially compared to the later loss of Willie, but Eddie was an adorable little 3-year-old, and I have seen women who underwent radical personality changes after the death of a child much younger than Eddie was when he died. It may be that Mary's troubles in the marriage date from that early loss. And then, of course, by the time the photos were taken in which Mary has a pained, pinched look on her face, she'd endured Willie's death, the death of half-brothers and in-laws, a carriage accident that gave her lasting, constant headaches, and of course, the wartime presidency.

I do think many commentators miss the significance of Mary's intelligence, education, the passion for poetry and theatre that she shared with her husband, and especially, her keen interest in politics. That combination was, sadly, rare in women of those days, and I can easily understand Lincoln's attraction to her. But I'm not even going to try to deny that she was a very trying woman, just as he was a very trying husband.
I would point out that the fathers are also profoundly changed by the loss of their children. They are just less likely to talk about it.
Longstreet is an example that readily comes to mind.
 
Now really, anyone, male or female who sticks it to Dirty Dan Sickles is worthy of a second look as more than Mary Todd Lincoln's sister.

View attachment 121889

So here we have the First Lady's sister, reeling under widowhood when husband General Ben Hardin Todd fell at Chickamauga zeroed in on by our favorite, well zero. Happiest when playing in the political sludgepile, Old Dan had a field day with Mary Lincoln. You'd have thunk Mary herself wore vials of morphine and secret dispatches in her hoops, taking notes nightly while her husband talked in his sleep. Whined? When Lincoln and Mary invited the young widow ( and orphaned child, Kaherine.... ) to visit, Dan all but rolled artillery into his bedroom, the better to protect himself.

View attachment 121882 View attachment 121883

General Ben fell at Chickamauga, 1863. Sickles, never one to miss an opportunity to twist the knife, informed his widow Confederate soldiers were “scoundrels and ran like scared rabbits” at Chattanooga, 1862. He then had the gall to have his feeling ( singular ) hurt, and complained hugely to her brother in law when Mrs. General Ben Helm snapped, " Confederate soldiers had only “followed the example the Federals had set them at Bull Run and Manassas.”

View attachment 121887 View attachment 121888
General Ben Helm, Emily Todd Helm's sweetheart and husband, fallen at Chickamauga.

One of Mary's closest friends, sister Emily Todd Helm's soft writings have been largely ignored, the impression being not much is known of her. Perhaps not much is printed of her since she seems to have spoken through letters and magazine interviews. What can you say of Emily? She. Was. Loyal.

In the feeding frenzy surrounding her sister, McClure's magazine did an extraordinary thing. McClure's ' thing ' was documentation and sourcing, whether science, biography, literature or social ills McClure's wide stable of professionals lent cache to the name and " McClure's ", to them. Between Lincoln's enemies choosing the wife as a soft target and the vilely vicious William Herndon targeting Mary with plain, old made-up nonsense, she is still vilified today. Why? These articles and books became sourced in articles and books, which became sourced in articles and books- like a Mayflower passenger has a million grandchildren. I get witched at all the time over how dreadful was Mary Lincoln, look at what this source says, and that one and that one. All Mayflower relatives and no one wishes to still long enough to ascertain what in blazes occurred 150 years ago.

Written by Emily Todd Helm

View attachment 121890

View attachment 121891
View attachment 121892
View attachment 121893

View attachment 121884
Mary Todd Lincoln, from McClure's Magazine

Emily Todd was enlisted by McClure's to build fact. What no one stops to consider is the Southern tendency to strong, unbreakable family loyalty, Emily Todd and Mary Todd shared this. Southern women. Emily, in her interview, enlightens readers in this fragment. It's an opening salvo on the part of McClure's demolishing Herndon. For some reason it's all been lost, only it isn't. Possibly merely ignored in favor of crazy, Mean Mary Lincoln, an invention of political enemies ( Dan Sickles, cough ) and one, weasely opportunist 150 years ago. Their other sources will be another thread. There are quite a few.

Post war, Emily was post mistress in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. A copious letter writer, much really is known of her, would anyone but admit it. She was known as " Mother of the ' Orphan Brigade ' ", for tireless support for veterans and anyone else impacted by those awful years, loved her genealogy and maintained her deep love for her sister.
Thanks for sharing!
She looks like a great subject for a serious biographer....
 
I have always found this a particular interesting period in the Lincoln/Todd/Hardin relationship. I feel for all of them - Mr. Lincoln, of course, first met her when she was 10 and lifted her in his arms declaring: “So this is Little Sister”,and Emilie would have no more fear of the “giant”. Mr. Lincoln also worked to get Ben Hardin to join the Union - but it was not to be and then came Chickamauga, and Emilie arrived at the White House for support and a stay.

Then Senator Harris comes a calling specifically asking to speak with Emilie and the course of the conversation turns to Robert Lincoln and his lack of service in the army with Senator Harris stating: “I have only one son and he is fighting for his country” and then turning to Emilie he states “And, Madam, if I had twenty sons they should all be fighting the rebels”. Emilie replies: “And if I had twenty sons, they should all be opposing yours”.

Somewhere in the conversation enters General Dan Sickles and he is shown out the door with Senator Harris, and he decides to report this incident turns around and meets with the President and says: “The child has a tongue like the rest of the Todds.” Lincoln jokes when the general had finished. Sickles was less amused and, slapping his hand against a nearby table he thundered, “You should not have that rebel in your house!” Incensed by the general’s tone, Lincoln was nevertheless calm: “General Sickles, my wife and I are in the habit of choosing our own guests. We do not need from our friends either advice or assistance in the matter.”

Emilie Todd Hardin would depart from the Lincoln’s shortly after the incident to avoid any embarrassment.

And the story goes on: “The final parting between the Lincolns and Little Sister was a hard one. The moment they all stepped outside, the calm they had created within the White House collapsed behind them. Emilie was about to spiral back out into the vortex, and none of them knew when or if they would be together again. “You know Little Sister I tried to have Ben come with me,” Lincoln said as they parted. “I hope you do not feel any bitterness or that I am in any way to blame for all this sorrow.” Emilie assured the president that her husband had loved him but that he had followed his conscience. “For weal or woe”, she said, “we must side with our own people”.

This is how the story is related in the book: House of Abraham - Stephen Berry.

A sad story, but a unfortunately one that I’m sure was common in that time.
Thanks for sharing! Her experience sums up the heartbreaking decisions so many families had to make and the terrible consequences they suffered.
As I said elsewhere, she is a great subject for a biography....
 
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I would point out that the fathers are also profoundly changed by the loss of their children. They are just less likely to talk about it.
Longstreet is an example that readily comes to mind.
Amen! Of course, you are perfectly right, Bill. Shame on us ladies if we've passed over that.

I've often wondered if part of Grant's seeming strength and imperturbability came from the fact that, as far as I know, he was the only major leader of the time who'd never lost a spouse or a child -- or even a parent. Everyone else was walking wounded, most of them before the war even started.
 
Thanks for sharing Emily's letter.

I've also lived long enough and had enough humbling experiences in my own life -- for example, my sisters and I having entirely different memories of various experiences in our youths -- that I do not trust Emily's recollections 100%. Especially the bit implying that there was no broken engagement.

I have a hard time imagining Mary as "cheerful" -- but then, she very well may have been, before the death of little Eddie. The biographers always pass over Eddie's death as if it were no big deal, especially compared to the later loss of Willie, but Eddie was an adorable little 3-year-old, and I have seen women who underwent radical personality changes after the death of a child much younger than Eddie was when he died. It may be that Mary's troubles in the marriage date from that early loss. And then, of course, by the time the photos were taken in which Mary has a pained, pinched look on her face, she'd endured Willie's death, the death of half-brothers and in-laws, a carriage accident that gave her lasting, constant headaches, and of course, the wartime presidency.

I do think many commentators miss the significance of Mary's intelligence, education, the passion for poetry and theatre that she shared with her husband, and especially, her keen interest in politics. That combination was, sadly, rare in women of those days, and I can easily understand Lincoln's attraction to her. But I'm not even going to try to deny that she was a very trying woman, just as he was a very trying husband.
You bring up an excellent point.
Mrs. Lincoln is always represented through photos taken later in her life, after her severe hardships. What would be our opinion of her if we had a photograph of a youthful, happy Mary Todd?
I recall once meeting a gentleman in a social setting. He was old, grey, flabby- no, fat. Certainly by no means fit. Yet I later learned that he was a genuine WWII hero, a man who had- among other things- escaped from a German POW Camp by overpowering and killing his guard using a garrote, then traveling many miles on foot with nothing to eat before reaching the safety of American lines.
We are all too easily misled about a person's whole life by what we see near the end....
 
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