My tree of woe

Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Location
Northwest of Big Shanty
I've recently posted about a thread in the fabric of my family. It involved the children of men of the same company and regiment getting married and building a life. It is a beautiful story and I'm happy to have seen it.

I will no longer use last names because, this being a Yankee forum, y'all can triangulate me via my tree.

The initial post was about a piece of my father's family. They came out of Mr. Lincoln's war bruised, bloodied and battered. Post war, they put their families back together, put crops in the ground, restocked the swine and cow inventory, and continued to live. In fact, they were very enterprising families and continued to utilize the tools gained from blockade running to their advantage in subsequent decades.

My Mother's family is an entirely different story. Every direct (you read that correctly), and many many indirect, male ancestors in her family were killed during this United States episodic history. I stopped researching when I counted two dozen dead between 1861 and 1865. It actually drove me into a bottle for a while, trying to understand. My wife started asking me if everything was alright. I've been married to that woman for over thirty five years, she knows when things are wrong. Don't get me wrong, daddy taught me to me to put my leather on every morning (that is a euphemism for you Yankee types). I was having problems digesting how badly her family was destroyed based upon Leadership decisions and the State making the call.

Vicksburg to Gettysburg, Shiloh to the Shenandoah. It is true. That's where we bled out (yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition, sue me).

We died early and we died often. Heck, we even died on a hospital train from Jonesboro. It's not good enough for us to get mamed in battle, we have to die in transit to hospitals. It's not good enough for us to be wounded in battle, we have to be held in prisons until we die from the filth we live in (Yes, I just did it again).

So. Why am I writing this? I'm glad you asked. It has been cathartic for me to say these things. It has gotten me out of the bottle, writing to a handful of strangers makes this better. Understand. We have been fourth generation United States soldiers. One officer type, three NCO types. To me now, it looks like we have been paying a toll fee. Well, guess what. You've gotten your last click out of Junior and his family. The fee is paid in full.

My Dad's family: "Times were so tough, we were lucky to get Winter shoes."
My Mom's family: "Look at Mr. Fancy-pants in his Winter shoes."

My Momma didn't deserve that. She and her family are the most beautiful people (inside and outside) I've ever seen.

Lela and Henry sitting in tree.

Lela married Henry in 1895. Lela's grandfather, William, was killed at Petersburg in 1864. He was in the 51st North Carolina Infantry. He's buried at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, VA. Henry's grandfather went on vacation: He went away and never came back. He died at Fort Delaware and is buried at Finn's point, NJ. His records weren't rectified to show this until the 1980's. Henry was murdered in 1915.

What I have taken away from this disgusting thing I looked into, is that several of the women went rogue on their men afterwards. Two of them lost four brothers, one son, and a son-in-law to the war (countless others, no doubt). They left their husbands and went to the territories with one of their children. Another raised her kids to adulthood, packed up and went to Tampa, Florida with one of her sons (hey, we're Floridaman!).

This genealogy journey has been more than I asked for, I tell people to stay out of the 1860's when they ask me anything about it. I am going to a graduation dinner for one of my grandsons tonight, attending another graduation tomorrow, then heading to a Confederate Memorial day event. "Happy" Memorial day.

Joe
 
I've recently posted about a thread in the fabric of my family. It involved the children of men of the same company and regiment getting married and building a life. It is a beautiful story and I'm happy to have seen it...I will no longer use last names because, this being a Yankee forum, y'all can triangulate me via my tree...

Oh...not to worry. There's members here from all kinds of places beyond Maine, Conn., N.H., Mass, R.I. and New York.
 
I will no longer use last names because, this being a Yankee forum, y'all can triangulate me via my tree.

Very Interesting family tree. I just want to correct one thing in your post. Being that I'm a card carrying Confederate, I can tell you that this is NOT a yankee site there are many of us here:D
 
I've recently posted about a thread in the fabric of my family. It involved the children of men of the same company and regiment getting married and building a life. It is a beautiful story and I'm happy to have seen it.

I will no longer use last names because, this being a Yankee forum, y'all can triangulate me via my tree.

The initial post was about a piece of my father's family. They came out of Mr. Lincoln's war bruised, bloodied and battered. Post war, they put their families back together, put crops in the ground, restocked the swine and cow inventory, and continued to live. In fact, they were very enterprising families and continued to utilize the tools gained from blockade running to their advantage in subsequent decades.

My Mother's family is an entirely different story. Every direct (you read that correctly), and many many indirect, male ancestors in her family were killed during this United States episodic history. I stopped researching when I counted two dozen dead between 1861 and 1865. It actually drove me into a bottle for a while, trying to understand. My wife started asking me if everything was alright. I've been married to that woman for over thirty five years, she knows when things are wrong. Don't get me wrong, daddy taught me to me to put my leather on every morning (that is a euphemism for you Yankee types). I was having problems digesting how badly her family was destroyed based upon Leadership decisions and the State making the call.

Vicksburg to Gettysburg, Shiloh to the Shenandoah. It is true. That's where we bled out (yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition, sue me).

We died early and we died often. Heck, we even died on a hospital train from Jonesboro. It's not good enough for us to get mamed in battle, we have to die in transit to hospitals. It's not good enough for us to be wounded in battle, we have to be held in prisons until we die from the filth we live in (Yes, I just did it again).

So. Why am I writing this? I'm glad you asked. It has been cathartic for me to say these things. It has gotten me out of the bottle, writing to a handful of strangers makes this better. Understand. We have been fourth generation United States soldiers. One officer type, three NCO types. To me now, it looks like we have been paying a toll fee. Well, guess what. You've gotten your last click out of Junior and his family. The fee is paid in full.

My Dad's family: "Times were so tough, we were lucky to get Winter shoes."
My Mom's family: "Look at Mr. Fancy-pants in his Winter shoes."

My Momma didn't deserve that. She and her family are the most beautiful people (inside and outside) I've ever seen.

Lela and Henry sitting in tree.

Lela married Henry in 1895. Lela's grandfather, William, was killed at Petersburg in 1864. He was in the 51st North Carolina Infantry. He's buried at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, VA. Henry's grandfather went on vacation: He went away and never came back. He died at Fort Delaware and is buried at Finn's point, NJ. His records weren't rectified to show this until the 1980's. Henry was murdered in 1915.

What I have taken away from this disgusting thing I looked into, is that several of the women went rogue on their men afterwards. Two of them lost four brothers, one son, and a son-in-law to the war (countless others, no doubt). They left their husbands and went to the territories with one of their children. Another raised her kids to adulthood, packed up and went to Tampa, Florida with one of her sons (hey, we're Floridaman!).

This genealogy journey has been more than I asked for, I tell people to stay out of the 1860's when they ask me anything about it. I am going to a graduation dinner for one of my grandsons tonight, attending another graduation tomorrow, then heading to a Confederate Memorial day event. "Happy" Memorial day.

Joe
This is a stunningly heartfelt post and story.

I do wonder if some of the women going 'rogue' on their men has something to do with the trauma they all experienced coming out of the war?

You have taken a deep dive into your family's history. I'm glad you finally decided to come up for some air and share.
 
This is a stunningly heartfelt post and story.

I do wonder if some of the women going 'rogue' on their men has something to do with the trauma they all experienced coming out of the war?

You have taken a deep dive into your family's history. I'm glad you finally decided to come up for some air and share.


I wonder that exact same question. Divorce was a different thing back then. Leaving your man meant you were leaving your children. My takeaway from these women is that they placed the blame of their losses squarely where they thought it belonged. They left their men. That is the only thing I can divine from census records.
 
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