GRAPHIC Most severely injured person to survive the war.

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Mike Serpa

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Many people have asked me, “Who was the most severely injured person to survive the war?” I finally found the answer. This photo is exactly as it is at the National Archives. No digital manipulation was done to this photo. No restoration or funny business. Click the link to see the photo at its source.
Mistook.jpg


General Alexander “Mountain” Mistook commanded the the Second Division of the First Army (USA) against the Fourth Division of the Third Army of the Confederacy on the fifth day at the Battle of Six Oaks.

His plan to attack at The Angle was obtuse. He directed Col. Wilson “Riot” MacKenzie to take the dirt removed in making the Dutch Gap Canal and fill in the Sunken Road. Then he would lead his 50,000 to men to a sure vitcory over his old classmate General Jeremiah Butternut.

(Mistook’s most stunning victory occurred when his men hit the Rebels with hot lead at Cold Harbor. He learned this tactic as a child when his father took him to the Eastern Theater to see “Birth of a Nation.”)

In the heat of the battle an enemy shell explode near Mistook. His trusty steed, Mrs. Peel, reared high and fell to one side crushing Mistook underneath. Col. MacKenzie hollered for some men to rescue the beloved general. As they pulled him from under the dead carcass he mumbled, “I’m very sore... too stiff to move.”

MacKenzie explained to Misook the importance of evacuating him away from the action. “I’m stiff, not dead,” responded the general. Another shell exploded nearby and Mackenzie, now furious with the Mistook, said, “Sir, we must get you to...” Mistook interrupted, “Quiet, Riot, get me another horse.”

Another explosion startled a team of horses bringing a gun and limber into the battle. The limber became unhitched and made it’s way toward Mistook. “Lookout, Mountain!” screamed MacKenzie. It was too late. The limber hit the stiff Mistook and severed his body just as it is in the photo.

It was almost three years since Mistook looked into the beautiful eyes of his lovely wife Abigail. And now, after several months in the hospital and on the way home to see her he remembered the very day they were married he had to leave immediately after the wedding for the war. She cried when she saw him and said, “I’m leaving you. You know I wanted a large family.” Then she walked out the door.

This devasted Mistook. He quickly turned to the bottle and grew more and nore despondent. No amount of alcohol could drown his sorrow. A few years passed and eight days before the seventh anniversary of the Battle of Six Oaks General Alexander Mistook took his own life. You see... he wasn’t half the man he used to be.
 
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LoyaltyOfDogs

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Location
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Many people have asked me, “Who was the most severely injured person to survive the war?” I finally found the answer. This photo is exactly as it is at the National Archives. No digital manipulation was done to this photo. No restoration or funny business. Click the link to see the photo at its source.
View attachment 129704

General Alexander “Mountain” Mistook commanded the the Second Division of the First Army (USA) against the Fourth Division of the Third Army of the Confederacy on the fifth day at the Battle of Six Oaks.

His plan to attack at The Angle was obtuse. He directed Col. Wilson “Riot” MacKenzie to take the dirt removed in making the Dutch Gap Canal and fill in the Sunken Road. Then he would lead his 50,000 to men to a sure vitcory over his old classmate General Jeremiah Butternut.

(Mistook’s most stunning victory occurred when his men hit the Rebels with hot lead at Cold Harbor. He learned this tactic as a child when his father took him to the Eastern Theater to see “Birth of a Nation.”)

In the heat of the battle an enemy shell explode near Mistook. His trusty steed, Mrs. Peel, reared high and fell to one side crushing Mistook underneath. Col. MacKenzie hollered for some men to rescue the beloved general. As they pulled him from under the dead carcass he mumbled, “I’m very sore... too stiff to move.”

MacKenzie explained to Misook the importance of evacuating him away from the action. “I’m stiff, not dead,” responded the general. Another shell exploded nearby and Mackenzie, now furious with the Mistook, said, “Sir, we must get you to...” Mistook interrupted, “Quiet, Riot, get me another horse.”

Another explosion startled a team of horses bringing a gun and limber into the battle. The limber became unhitched and made it’s way toward Mistook. “Lookout, Mountain!” screamed MacKenzie. It was too late. The limber hit the stiff Mistook and severed his body just as it is in the photo.

It was almost three years since Mistook looked into the beautiful eyes of his lovely wife Abigail. And now, after several months in the hospital and on the way home to see her he remembered the very day they were married he had to leave immediately after the wedding for the war. She cried when she saw him and said, “I’m leaving you. You know I wanted a large family.” Then she walked out the door.

This devasted Mistook. He quickly turned to the bottle and grew more and nore despondent. No amount of alcohol could drown his sorrow. A few years passed and eight days before the seventh anniversary of the Battle of Six Oaks General Alexander Mistook took his own life. You see... he wasn’t half the man he used to be.
:smile: Best Civil War parody since GBURG TXT MSG! http://bit.ly/2mYGoR9
 
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LoyaltyOfDogs

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Cavalry Charger

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Mike Serpa

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Not half bad.
LOL!

:smile: Best Civil War parody since GBURG TXT MSG! http://bit.ly/2mYGoR9
That was awesome. Enough for a book. I only wrote a page.

You're a sick, sick man. Lol.
I take that as a compliment! My brain did hurt after writing that.

I've seen another great one here about Grant being drunk at the surrender of Appomatox and basically surrending to Robert E. Lee. That one was also hilarious...wish I could find it again. In the meantime :bounce::roflmao:
Yes, I remember that one, too!

And many thought Generals to be half brained........
I had a longer not so family friendly version.

You almost had me.
It's been a couple years since I done an April Fools post.

Yes, @Cavalry Charger, thanks for remembering the work of one of our great American humorists, James Thurber: https://www.civilwartalk.com/threads/james-thurber-if-grant-had-been-drinking-at-appomattox.129096/
Thanks for that link. I'll read it again.
 
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Cavalry Charger

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Messages
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Many people have asked me, “Who was the most severely injured person to survive the war?” I finally found the answer. This photo is exactly as it is at the National Archives. No digital manipulation was done to this photo. No restoration or funny business. Click the link to see the photo at its source.
View attachment 129704

General Alexander “Mountain” Mistook commanded the the Second Division of the First Army (USA) against the Fourth Division of the Third Army of the Confederacy on the fifth day at the Battle of Six Oaks.

His plan to attack at The Angle was obtuse. He directed Col. Wilson “Riot” MacKenzie to take the dirt removed in making the Dutch Gap Canal and fill in the Sunken Road. Then he would lead his 50,000 to men to a sure vitcory over his old classmate General Jeremiah Butternut.

(Mistook’s most stunning victory occurred when his men hit the Rebels with hot lead at Cold Harbor. He learned this tactic as a child when his father took him to the Eastern Theater to see “Birth of a Nation.”)

In the heat of the battle an enemy shell explode near Mistook. His trusty steed, Mrs. Peel, reared high and fell to one side crushing Mistook underneath. Col. MacKenzie hollered for some men to rescue the beloved general. As they pulled him from under the dead carcass he mumbled, “I’m very sore... too stiff to move.”

MacKenzie explained to Misook the importance of evacuating him away from the action. “I’m stiff, not dead,” responded the general. Another shell exploded nearby and Mackenzie, now furious with the Mistook, said, “Sir, we must get you to...” Mistook interrupted, “Quiet, Riot, get me another horse.”

Another explosion startled a team of horses bringing a gun and limber into the battle. The limber became unhitched and made it’s way toward Mistook. “Lookout, Mountain!” screamed MacKenzie. It was too late. The limber hit the stiff Mistook and severed his body just as it is in the photo.

It was almost three years since Mistook looked into the beautiful eyes of his lovely wife Abigail. And now, after several months in the hospital and on the way home to see her he remembered the very day they were married he had to leave immediately after the wedding for the war. She cried when she saw him and said, “I’m leaving you. You know I wanted a large family.” Then she walked out the door.

This devasted Mistook. He quickly turned to the bottle and grew more and nore despondent. No amount of alcohol could drown his sorrow. A few years passed and eight days before the seventh anniversary of the Battle of Six Oaks General Alexander Mistook took his own life. You see... he wasn’t half the man he used to be.
PS: @MikeSerpa. "You had me at...'Graphic" lol :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 
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OwenEgan

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I found some more of the family papers in a local records office.

It seems that Mistook's fortunes didn't improve after the war. Coming from a proud military family, when the senior Mistook heard of his Son's misadventures, he was enraged at his Son's failure and wanted to remove him from the family will. He and his beloved had a huge argument and she went off to her Mother's for the foreseeable future.

After the dust had settled, he called the family lawyer. "Jones," he said, "I'm disappointed in Alex, he's a black mark on the family name. He has caused to to be a house divided, sundered, bisected, torn our lives in half..."

"Sir!" interjected Jones, in quiet desperation.

"Ahh, yes Jones." a huge smile spread across his face and the lawyer cringed. "We can change roles - I will be brief. "

Jones' grip on the papers slipped and they nearly fell to the floor.

"Write to our wayward boy, Jones." said Mistook, with a smirk "Tell him that due to the slope in his prospects, I have had to cut him off."

"Oh, please sir! That's enough!" begged the lawyer.

"I do think that you are right, Jones. In fact, I dare say that even Alex would be inclined to agree".

In later years, it seems that Alexander became quite resigned to his fate. When pressed for his views on his misfortune by a member of the press at the fifth anniversary of the tragic event, he said "You know, it's an old story at the end of the day. Just part of an ancient struggle. The battle of man against adversity."

"Do you mean..." prompted the reporter.

"Yes," said Alexander, "Just a tale of the halves, and the halve-nots".
 
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