US McClellan, Mary Ellen Marcy

Mary Ellen Marcy (Nelly) McClellan
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Born: May 6, 1835

Birthplace: Green Bay, Wisconsin

Father: Brig. General Randolph Barnes Marcy 1812 – 1887
(Buried: Riverview Cemetery, Trenton, New Jersey)​

Mother: Mary Ametia Mann 1815 – 1878

Husband: Major General George B. McClellan 1826 – 1885
(Buried: Riverview Cemetery, Trenton, New Jersey)​
Marriage: May 22, 1860, in Calvary Church, New York City, New York

Children:

Mary McClellan Desprez 1861 – 1945
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George Brinton McClellan Jr. 1865 – 1940​
(Buried: Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Virginia)​

Life Story:

1854: Friend / love interest of Lt. General Ambrose Powell Hill​
1854: Upon hearing the suggestion of Hill's marriage proposal, her father objected to a marriage to an army officer.​
1859: On October 20, Ellen accepts George's proposal of marriage​
1860 – 1885: Wife of Major General George B. McClellan​
1878 – 1881: First Lady of State of New Jersey​
1885 – 1915: Widow of Major General George B. McClellan​

Died: February 13, 1915

Place of Death: Nice, France

Age at time of Death: 79 years old

Burial Place: Riverview Cemetery, Trenton, New Jersey

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CROSS POSTED FROM: https://civilwartalk.com/threads/mcclellan-mary-ellen-marcy.162743/

Known as "Ellen," Mary Ellen Marcy was born in Philadelphia in 1830 to Major General Randolph Burns Marcy and Priscilla Dunham Marcy. Her mother was a descendant of Mayflower passenger John Dunham.

After her husband's death, she lived in Nice, France. Her children were Mary McClellan Desprez and George Brinton McClellan. Her son would follow his father into politics, becoming a U. S. Representative and Mayor of New York City.

Ellen McClellan was a strikingly beautiful young woman with numerous suitors, who fell in love with a young Southern officer, A. P. Hill. Her father objected to his daughter's marriage to an army officer, with its lack of financial reward, uncertainty and long separations. Given her father's strenuous objections--“if you do not comply with my wishes in this respect, I cannot tell what my feelings toward you will become. I fear that my ardent affections will turn to hate," Ellen let her relationship with the young lieutenant remain quiet for awhile and continued in the social whirl of her life, receiving and rejecting 9 proposals of marriage by the time she was 25.

It was love at first sight when George McClellan met the 18 year old Ellen Marcy. He proposed and was rejected over the years, telling her mother, “I have not seen a very great deal of the little lady mentioned above, still that little has been sufficient to make me determined to win her if I can.” Finally, Ellen consented to become Mrs. McClellan and they married in 1860.

The McClellans corresponded almost daily during their 25 year marriage, which produced three children. Ellen died in February, 1815 in Nice, France.

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Mary Ellen Marcy McClellan.

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Major General George Brinton McClellan and wife Ellen.

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Young Ellen McClellan
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McClellan, George Brinton (November 23, 1865 - November 30, 1940), politician and university professor, was the older of two children and the only son of General George Brinton McClellan and Mary Ellen (Marcy) McClellan. Born in Dresden, Saxony, while his parents were visiting Europe, he belonged to a family whose Scottish forebears had emigrated to New England in the eighteenth century. http://tidewaterhistorian.blogspot.com/2011/01/life-and-times-of-george-mcclellan-jr.html

I thought it would be nice to have threads on the wives of Civil War personalities as they're mentioned.

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CROSS POSTED FROM: https://civilwartalk.com/threads/nelly-mcclellan-after-the-war-was-over.175592/

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General George McClellan
Frank Leslie’s Illustrated - Maryland - September 12, 1862
(Public Domain)

For Nelly McClellan it began when she received the following correspondence dated November 7, 1862. What was she thinking as she read the letter that starts out as a normal missive but takes a turn when General McClellan is interrupted in his writing by a visitor at 11:30 pm?

“Another interruption - this time more important. It was in the shape of dear old Burnside accompanied by Genl Buckingham, the Secy’s Adjt Genl - they brought with them the order relieving me from the command of the Army of the Potomac, & assigning Burnside to the command. No cause is given. I am ordered to turn over the command immediately & repair to Trenton N.J. & on my arrival there to report by telegraph for future orders. . . .

Do not be at all worried - I am not. I have done the best I could for my country - to the last I have done my duty as I understand it. That I must have made many mistakes I cannot deny - I do not see any great blunders - but no one can judge himself. Our consolation must be that we have tried to do what was right - if we have failed it was not our fault.”
{1}

On that November day Mary Ellen (Nelly) Marcy McClellan was twenty-seven years old and the mother of a year-old daughter Mary. Although she had known George McClellan for many years they had only been married since May 22, 1860. McClellan was always the preferred husband for Nelly’s parents and that was the man she wed. When McClellan left the battlefield Nelly was young and the rest of her life was ahead of her.

*
General McClellan took a few of his remaining staff members and headed to Trenton, New Jersey but he did not wait there long. He soon headed to New York and there with his wife and daughter they stayed at a Fifth Avenue Hotel to determine what their next move should be. In between their thinking they were being entertained by some of the most influential Democrats. The newspapers took notice of their activities. The McClellan’s stayed in New York until February 1863 until George was asked to head to Washington to face a grilling with the Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War. It was a tough time for him for he missed his wife. He wrote at midnight on the 28th of February:

“I am very sorry that I did not bring you on, for I find that I have no chance in Wash without you! I sincerely believe, you little scamp that you are far more popular in Wash today than your husband is.” {1}

We don’t really know what Nelly did until she emerges in April 1864 when she appeared at the New York Sanitary Fair. At this event she was joined by Jessie Fremont and Julia Grant as the three faced off to see who would take home the Tiffany sword that was being awarded to whomever of the ladies sold enough ticket. Despite the efforts of the Democrats to purchase the most tickets (at $1.00) Julia Grant ended up getting the most votes and the sword.

George McClellan was the democratic choice for the top spot on the presidential ticket in 1864. The McClellan's had built a home in Orange, New Jersey which they named “Maywood”. He was a relatively “quiet” candidate. Some believe he took the attitude that if God wanted him to be president, he would be president. Well I guess God didn’t want him as president for he lost.

Nelly was with her husband on Election Day and was by his side when he learned that his former beloved Army of the Potomac only managed to cast fewer than 30 percent of their vote for their “beloved Little Mac”. So after the bitter defeat what does the McClellan family do? - they leave the country. In January of 1865 the Cunard steamer China sets sail for Europe carrying George, Nelly now twenty-nine and their daughter. On November 23rd of that year they welcomed a son whom they named for his father but called Max. The young family stayed abroad for the next three years learning the death of Abraham Lincoln in May of 1865 when McClellan wrote home to a friend from Sorrentom Italy:

“while we have been enjoying ourselves among these magnificent scenes, you at home have passed through the most wonderful transition of which history bears record. How strange it is that the military death of the rebellion should have been followed with such tragic quickness by the atrocious murder of Mr. Lincoln! Now I cannot but forget all that has been unpleasant between us, & remember only the brighter parts of our intercourse.” {1}

*

Upon their arrival back in New York in 1868, Nelly, now thirty-three years old was once again dealing with the possibility of another presidential run. This election cycles her her husband had no desire to run against the popular Republican Ulysses Grant so he looked for work in the private market. It was about this time that the University of California was established and the Regents of the University touched off a major debate when they asked George McClellan to be the new president. The fiercest editorial flew off the desk of The San Francisco Examiner” a supporter of McClellan in his 1864 presidential run had turned their opinion when they printed:

“We want no narrow-brained fanatical sectionalist of New England optimism and puritanism or preside over our cosmopolitan University.” {2}

Once again Nelly has to live with criticism of her husband as McClellan turned down the offer and by 1870 McClellan was pointed chief engineer of the New York City Department of Docks. By 1872 was was president of the Atlantic and Great Western Railroad.

In 1873 the McClellan’s embarked on another three-year visit to Europe. They were back in the states by 1877 Nelly now in her early forties with children in their teen but yet again there were more disappointments and criticism. In March of 1877 McClellan was nominated to serve as the first New York State Superintendent of Public Works by the governor Lucius Robinson. Nelly would have to hear her husband was rejected by the State Senate due to the fact he was “incompetent for the position”.

Family’s life improved when George was nominated and elected as the Governor of New Jersey. He served from 1878 to 1881. Even in this position Nelly could not escape criticism regarding her beloved. As history will write out his tenure:

“Some consider him a giant as the state’s chief executive—a principled, visionary leader who advanced ideas and achieved things that ordinary men just could not fathom at that time. Others, however, consider him a lightweight as governor—an indifferent, dilatory and headstrong leader whose greatest problem was progress.

The similarities between Little Mac’s tenure as New Jersey’s governor and his tenures as the commanding general of the Army of the Potomac (as well as his brief service as commander in chief) are remarkably similar. The only thing that can be said with certainty about his term as New Jersey’s governor is that, like his time with the Union Army, George McClellan was an able administrator.”
{3}

*

George and Nelly maintained a close relationship through all the years. During the war they exchanged many thoughts in their letters neither holding anything back from one another. We will never know what she really thought of George and how difficult it must have been for her at times to hear the criticism but as a wife she was dutiful and willing to support him in his endeavors. It must have been heartbreaking when October 29, 1885 he suffered a major heart attack that killed him at fifty-eight leaving behind his Nelly now fifty years old with at twenty-four year old daughter and a twenty year old son. At 3 a.m. he spoke his final words:

"I feel easy now. Thank you."

I wonder if in some way - these words were echoed from Nelly - the criticism is over - his life is done - he is now left to history. And for the woman who had been engaged to another future civil war general yet bent to her father’s wishes - did she ever find happiness? Some have commented that in all her pictures with General McClellan her eyes hold a sadness? If she could speak what would she say?

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(Public Domain)


* * *




Sources
1. The Civil War Papers of George B. McClellan, edited by Stephen W. Sears
2. A Brief History of the University of California, by Patricia A. Pelfrey, Margaret Cheney
3. https://www.historynet.com/governor-mcclellan-deja-vu-all-over-again.htm
4.
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/8215496/mary-ellen-mcclellan
 
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She was the genesis of one of my all-time favorite CW quotes.

It was common knowledge that Ellen Marcy had rejected a proposal from A.P. Hill and instead had married Little Mac.

As some Union troops under McClellan were getting savagely torn into on the Peninsula by A.P. Hill's famous Light Division, one Northern soldier was heard to yell "For God's sake Nellie, why didn't you marry him?"
 
Thank you for posting. I didn't know that she was born in Wisconsin... I thought she was a native of Philadelphia too. Miss Marcy was once engaged to McClellan's West Point room mate A.P. Hill, but her father was very much against her marrying him and demanded that she break off the engagement.

Prior to marrying McClellan, she had rejected 9 marriage proposals by the age of 25.
 
I'm not so sure her parents didn't reject all those others! But she was a very strong person. McClellan fell for her on sight but at that time she was in love with A P Hill. McClellan didn't let his feelings about her be known first to her but to her mother. He was from a well off, socially prominent family, had very good prospects and - above all for Mary Ellen's father - was not planning to be a career soldier. Get off to a good start with the folks first! However, she was determined to marry Hill. Mom and Dad didn't like Hill for a number of reasons - from the South, not high on the social ladder, a career soldier, no money - but they couldn't dissuade her. So...her father got ahold of - somehow - Hill's medical records and revealed to Nellie Hill had had VD. He hadn't told her himself yet as he thought he was over it but that stopped the marriage cold. He directly asked McClellan if he had spilled the beans and he vehemently said absolutely not! Think Hill always had his suspicions, but myself I think Mary Ellen's father had heard rumors and just sniffed it out himself. It worked out amazingly well for Hill - he discovered the love of his life was not Mary Ellen but Kitty Morgan, John Hunt Morgan's little sister - they turned out to be real soulmates. Mary Ellen and George...maybe not so much! McClellan definitely loved her, though, but it seemed she wasn't that enthusiastic about him. McClellan was a good husband and a good father - she did all right. She never remarried after his death. Believe she passed away in Nice, France while visiting her daughter, who had married a French gentleman.
 
Arranged marriages, can you imagine?? Produce a child, preferable male, and never have to deal with your husband again? No love there, just continuing the “line”..ugh...I think this is why the love matches really stand out. And given that the girls were considered marketable at what, 16? I know I wasn’t mature enough at that age to commit myself to marriage, that is for sure! I really love reading about women in this era who married, “late” and lived very rich lives.
 
In the snubbing incident General McClellan snubbed both Lincoln and Seward in 1861. The two were kept waiting in the generals waiting room for about an hour. And the president was told that the McClellans were attending a wedding. The General supposedly returned home later and went straight to his bedroom. Where was Mrs. McClellan?
 
In the snubbing incident General McClellan snubbed both Lincoln and Seward in 1861. The two were kept waiting in the generals waiting room for about an hour. And the president was told that the McClellans were attending a wedding. The General supposedly returned home later and went straight to his bedroom. Where was Mrs. McClellan?

That's something one doesn't usually think of! She would have been there waiting as well. She was at their home, however, as he wrote a letter that night to her - so they weren't attending a wedding. He had a place in Washington and she was either in New York or New Jersey - not sure which. I've sometimes wondered if the snub was inadvertent. The general had come in from a meeting with the president's cabinet and was fuming mad with them. Don't know what kind of help he had, but it sounds like he didn't know Lincoln and Seward were even there! Charged through the door, up the stairs, and into his bedroom - so whoever was left to tend to the guests kind of had to make it up or something. If he didn't know then he had to know the next day and there was no apology or anything - so it ends up a snub anyhow.
 
As some Union troops under McClellan were getting savagely torn into on the Peninsula by A.P. Hill's famous Light Division, one Northern soldier was heard to yell "For God's sake Nellie, why didn't you marry him?"

This comes from a story told by Lieutenant-Colonel Edward Henry Wright at the 1885 Antietam reunion. McClellan listened to the story, and replied; "Fiction no doubt, but surely no one could have married a more gallant soldier than A. P. Hill."

Indeed, the circumstances described, a dawn attack by AP Hill's division, never occurred. Hill only attacked twice during the Peninsula (26th and 27th), and both were around 1500 hrs. Both times Hill's division frontally assaulted entrenchments and was slaughtered.

In the snubbing incident General McClellan snubbed both Lincoln and Seward in 1861. The two were kept waiting in the generals waiting room for about an hour. And the president was told that the McClellans were attending a wedding. The General supposedly returned home later and went straight to his bedroom. Where was Mrs. McClellan?

She was still in Cincinnati, recovering from giving birth to their first child. She arrived in Washington in early December, and George met her at the station in Baltimore.

I believe most of those nine proposals she turned down were from him!

Two from George, one from Hill, and the others are from others. George proposed to the 18 year old Ellen in 1854, but she rejected him. George's urgency was because he'd been posted to observe the Russian War. She was stepping out with many young men at the time, and in November 1855, Lt AP Hill was posted to the Coast Survey in Washington. He was one of many men she started stepping out with, and in the spring of 1856 she accepted his proposal. However, her father did not approve, and they argued over the matter. Nelly then rejected Hill in July 1856.

George McClellan was returned from Europe in April 1856, and found that Ellen was involved with his friend AP Hill. He assiduously avoided interferring, and didn't write to her until Valentine's Day 1857. This gained no traction, and it was his next letter, over a year later (St. Patrick's Day, 1858) that evoked a response. They corresponded for 18 months, and in the autumn of 1859 Ellen and her family traveled to St. Pauls, and en route stayed with George McClellan, Ambrose Burnside and his wife (Burnside was down on his luck and had moved in with his friend George). George then arranged to have them travel with him on his private car, and at the end of the journey, George made his second proposal, which was accepted.
 
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Thanks, 67th! I couldn't remember exactly where she was, but I expect if she had been with him the snub incident wouldn't have occurred. Her father was something, all right - very determined his daughter would marry right or lose him out of her life. No pressure here! In a way, her father kind of reminds me of Sherman's father-in-law - every man his daughter looked at had to measure up to Thomas Ewing. She was always going back to his house, too, with the kids. Don't think Mrs McClellan did that, but her father was a big presence in their marriage.

McClellan didn't know he'd been the one to leap out of bed yelling about Hill's attack, then! :laugh: Somewhere in the same decade Sherman related his story of meeting Forrest in a mud puddle in the battle after Shiloh and being convinced he would have been dead if Forrest's pistols weren't empty. Forrest didn't recall any such encounter...and subsequent events proved his pistols were fine - he was loaded for bear. Always got to watch the 'passage of time' stories!
 
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