Julia Dent Grant

JPK Huson 1863

Brev. Brig. Gen'l
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
Location
Central Pennsylvania
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cw julia dent grant2.jpg


From The White House website:

"
Julia Dent Grant

Quite naturally, shy young Lieutenant Grant lost his heart to friendly Julia; and made his love known, as he said himself years later, "in the most awkward manner imaginable." She told her side of the story--her father opposed the match, saying, "the boy is too poor," and she answered angrily that she was poor herself. The "poverty" on her part came from a slave-owner's lack of ready cash.

Daughter of Frederick and Ellen Wrenshall Dent, Julia had grown up on a plantation near St. Louis in a typically Southern atmosphere. In memoirs prepared late in life--unpublished until 1975--she pictured her girlhood as an idyll: "one long summer of sunshine, flowers, and smiles…" She attended the Misses Mauros' boarding school in St. Louis for seven years among the daughters of other affluent parents. A social favorite in that circle, she met "Ulys" at her home, where her family welcomed him as a West Point classmate of her brother Frederick; soon she felt lonely without him, dreamed of him, and agreed to wear his West Point ring.

Julia and her handsome lieutenant became engaged in 1844, but the Mexican War deferred the wedding for four long years. Their marriage, often tried by adversity, met every test; they gave each other a life-long loyalty. Like other army wives,"dearest Julia" accompanied her husband to military posts, to pass uneventful days at distant garrisons. Then she returned to his parents' home in 1852 when he was ordered to the West.

Ending that separation, Grant resigned his commission two years later. Farming and business ventures at St. Louis failed, and in 1860 he took his family--four children now--back to his home in Galena, Illinois. He was working in his father's leather goods store when the Civil War called him to a soldier's duty with his state's volunteers. Throughout the war, Julia joined her husband near the scene of action whenever she could.

After so many years of hardship and stress, she rejoiced in his fame as a victorious general, and she entered the White House in 1869 to begin, in her words, "the happiest period" of her life. With Cabinet wives as her allies, she entertained extensively and lavishly. Contemporaries noted her finery, jewels and silks and laces. Upon leaving the White House in 1877, the Grants made a trip around the world that became a journey of triumphs. Julia proudly recalled details of hospitality and magnificent gifts they received.

But in 1884 Grant suffered yet another business failure and they lost all they had. To provide for his wife, Grant wrote his famous personal memoirs, racing with time and death from cancer. The means thus afforded and her widow's pension enabled her to live in comfort, surrounded by children and grandchildren, till her own death in 1902. She had attended in 1897 the dedication of Grant's monumental tomb in New York City where she was laid to rest. She had ended her own chronicle of their years together with a firm declaration: "the light of his glorious fame still reaches out to me, falls upon me, and warms me."
 
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Julia Grant.jpg


Andy's right - the sepia above is a well-known photo of Mary Lincoln, who in her psychosis it is said was jealous of Julia, among many others. Interestingly, the other picture is from an angle she usually avoided - more-or-less frontal. It's said she was cross-eyed, and in some photos looks that way. Someone at one of the Grant sites I visited a few years ago at Galena suggest that she may instead have suffered from "lazy eye", where one focuses erratically and "wanders", sometimes more than others. According to one anecdote when Grant was asked why he didn't have her operated on to "fix" the problem, whichever it was, his reply was that he loved her the way she was.

I found Julia's memoirs about a year ago in an antique mall, and quickly started them but bogged down after about a hundred pages or so. She was greatly disappointed that they were never published during her lifetime, especially after she went to the trouble to record them. Unfortunately, it's fairly easy to see why - there's absolutely nothing "juicy" about them; they exhude a "sweetness and light" that somehow sounds phony or at least "too good to be true." Of course there's nothing about her husband's drinking or their money problems, maybe understandably; but to those of us who know better it all sounds too saccharine.

The book's probably of most interest to someone who's really fascinated with the First Ladies and knows relatively little about the Grants. I stopped around Vicksburg and really should get back to it, but have trouble whipping up the enthusiasm to do so!
 
Yes, of course it is, sorry!! Never load photos until you've rechecked whether or not they were saved correctly! I used to use a notebook- never could see very well on the screen, this isn't the only photo ( by far ) which is incorrect due to just, plain not paying attention- if I'd looked at it for 20 seconds, would have noticed that. Somewhere on the internet exists this phot attributed to her- unless I really flaked out a just just wrote the wrong name in the first place. Thank you SO much for correcting that!

Oh, well, I'd have to guess Julie wrote what she thought folks wanted to hear? Either that or she just could not bring herself to write anything negative about him- so was not a good person to write a bio anyway. Those years before the war must have been just awful, failure after failure, her father no doubt doing a slow boil on her choice of husband.

Most families did not have to suffer so much publicity when there was an alcohol problem- that was no doubt terribly painful, too. It can't be doubted Julia and her husband were very, very close- his trips off the wagon were a result of being away from her. Given how close they were, like I said, it's probable she couldn't quite bring herself to allow the public into their most private times. She did not seem to build an entire career around being the widow of a war hero, and I'm sure could have- although why she thought a cleaned-up version of General and Mrs. Grant would be believable is pretty wierd. 99 % of the general public had to have had a very good idea of the juicy bits she left out, so why she had a shot at glossing over the truth is baffling.

I'm not really a ' fan ' of First Ladies, so would probably give her bio a miss, having been forewarned. I did end up liking her a great deal, seeing a huge amount of grace in her actions through her marraige and life. She disallowed life circumstances to crush her, remained intensely loyal, was neither a beauty nor a firecracker of a personality but did not seem to mind as long as her husband liked her just the way she was.

No, I do the same thing with books- there are so, so many on the list that to dutifully slog through something just for the sake of having to do it sometimes seems a tragic waste of time, doesn't it? Like when friends write potential manuscripts, and ask you to read them- you know you have to no matter how arduous, since the thing is GOING to come up in conversation.
 
Julia must have had a lot of influence on her husband. She also loved to entertain.

In book, "Facts About the Presidents, the authors Joseph Kane, Janet Podell and Steven Anzovin write:

"Julia Dent Grant, wife of President Grant, was very much admired as a White House hostess. In keeping with the fashion of the time, her dinners often extended to 29 courses..".

"She was decidedly a political force. One of her coups, for instance, was to obtain the friendship of Hamilton Fish, and to influence his appointment as Secretary of State. She urged her husband to veto the Finance Bill, saying he would be hanged in effigy no matter what he did, so he should do what was morally right. Julia Grant was a supporter of women's rights and became a friend of Susan B. Anthony, who supported President Grant rather than Victoria Woodhull, the first woman to run for President."

From "Facts About The President", page 198.
 
Thanks very much, Donna! I read somewhere that the dinnerware she bought is the single, prettiest set in the White House, and she really did believe in quite a lavish lifestyle for the entire place. Funny, because when Mary Lincoln did that, she was terribly castigated, Julia Grant pretty much did the same thing, I haven't come across a peep of censure. There must have been some, I just haven't found it yet, so it can't have been too noisy.

29 courses? GOOD Grief- I'm lucky if I can make it through one! Crazy, crazy.
 
I believe that first picture (sepia) is Mary Todd Lincoln.
Thanks very much, Donna! I read somewhere that the dinnerware she bought is the single, prettiest set in the White House, and she really did believe in quite a lavish lifestyle for the entire place. Funny, because when Mary Lincoln did that, she was terribly castigated, Julia Grant pretty much did the same thing, I haven't come across a peep of censure. There must have been some, I just haven't found it yet, so it can't have been too noisy.

29 courses? GOOD Grief- I'm lucky if I can make it through one! Crazy, crazy.

I think you and donna (and maybe more of you others) would be very interested in the book I'm currently reading, "Intimate strategies of the Civil War . military commanders and their wives", ed. By Carol K. Bleser and Lesley J . Gordon, ISBN 978-0195330854.
It has so many facts about the wives! The books examines 6 Confederate and 6 Union marriages and it is written in a quite entertaining style. And it has a huge annex with references where you, JPK Huson can dig up lots of new books and facts! I have just read about Julia Dent Grant and her difficulties with Mary Todd Lincoln. In fact, these quarrels probably saved her husband's life, because Julia refused to go to the theater together with the Lincolns although Grant hat already agreed to the invitation. Thanks to his devotion to his wife he skipped this date and so John Wilkes Booth could not shoot him in Ford's Theater. Julia was glad about it, while Ulysses said he had preferred to be there to prevent Booth from shooting the president. I doubt that he had succeeded.
Also I liked to read the story of the Lee's marriage. Lee is always depicted as such a father figure and icon of the Confederacy that I had never imagined that he was a ladie's man in his youth. He wrote quite flirty letters, oh my! But he always let Mary know of them. Would I like to know if my husband wrote flirty letters to some other woman? I think not.
Just a litte excursion off topic, but I came to think of it while reading about Julia Dent Grant's cross-eyedness. As First Lady she considered surgery, because she feared her appearance could harm the presidents public credit. But it was too late for that and he said it was not necessary as he had fallen in love with these eyes. Charming!
 
Sounds like a book to add to my list to read. I have so many right now. Actually reading three books at present time. plus several magazines and the newspaper everyday. My husband says how do you do it and not get confused. I do get confused but keep plugging away.

I also keep up with recipes everyday and articles on the history of food. I forgot also all my genealogy projects and research. I actually dream about them every night. There is just so much to learn and not enough time.
 
Sounds like a book to add to my list to read. I have so many right now. Actually reading three books at present time. plus several magazines and the newspaper everyday. My husband says how do you do it and not get confused. I do get confused but keep plugging away.

I also keep up with recipes everyday and articles on the history of food. I forgot also all my genealogy projects and research. I actually dream about them every night. There is just so much to learn and not enough time.

That's so true!!
As I have already written in another thread: this thing here is eating me up, but I'm a willing victim! I start in the morning looking if there was something overnight - and can't resist anwering. Then at work I steal a couple of minutes whenever I'm alone in my office or having a cup of coffee - and as soon as I'm coming home I look again - and again can't resist answering immediately. I'm also reading a couple of books at the same time - the one I mentioned above, the book by Sally Pickett and the one by John D. Cox about the Longstreet/Jubal Early feud (fortunately a very short one) and even a German novel I started before joining here, nearly forgot the plot. And my to-read-stack is huuuuuge!
Tsss:wavespin:
But I'm enjoying this so much, I cannot quit. I try to vindicate my addictive behaviour before myself by stating that I can practise my English this way ... but that's a lame duck point ... I simply enjoy your virtual company and that I can learn so much of you all here and that I can constantly talk and listen to the discussions on my favourite object without getting on the nerves of someone.
Thank you for that!
 
A good article on Julia Dent Grant is at:

http://www.firstladies.org/biographies/firstladies.aspx?biography=19

It discusses the China Mrs. Grant purchased.
"The China ordered by Mrs. Grant, with a yellow border and flowers in the center, still remain among the handsomest in the White House."

"Nellie Grant's wedding in 1874 to an Englishman, Algernon Sartoris, was among the most elaborate in White House history."

Mrs. Grant loved to entertain and all her dinners, parties, and receptions were very lavish.
 
Ah yes, I think one of the moderators warns us that forum life can be addicting when we first join- and it can be, can't it? There are far worse things to fall victim to, so if you're going to have an addiciton, might as well have one which extends your knowledge base, harms exactly no one, is endlessly fascinating plus according to whatever literature is out will prevent senility because God knows we're all excercizing the gray stuff between our ears. :smile:

I'd read that about Lee and his writing to his wife once, about some delightful, pretty and sweetly charming belle who had said some very provacative things to him. Poor guy, it sounds like his wife had him on a long leash, really, in the way wives do- she was clearly no fool. He jovially told her the entire story via letter, including what HE said- ouch- which had been just as flirty ( if my husband had said it, there would be frozen insides to the chicken for a month ) . I guess Mrs. Lee didn't write at ALL for weeks, whereupon Bonehead got the point, backed up his horses quickly. Men, huh?

If you look at Lee's photos, he was awfully good-looking, add to that, he'd have been the rock star of the entire South, women would have LOVED him.Mrs. Lee probably had to give him a lot of room, but still keep a good hold on the curb rein- who could blame her? You could see the guy being a little clueless while being flirted with, not genuinely knowing when he could be in hot water.

I'd read about that terribly awward scene Mary Lincoln created with Julia Grant, too! Whoa. Didn't she actually confront her? It's not like today, when it's not somehow ' cool ' to do that- then, it was an unforgivable breach of social conduct ( it still should be, all this public acting-out everytime someone has a hangnail is just, plain tacky ). How did that traspire, Mary actually accused Julia of having designs on her husband? Julia didn't bat an eye- although she could have said " YES, of course, being married to the most intrepid and celebrated general in the country, not a bad looker toboot, I'm going to dump him for your tall drink of water. You caught me. "

I never heard of that book, thank you Faraway! I'd assumed you were reading the one I linked to- " Generals Wives "- or Civil War General's Wives. All of a sudden there are several of these ' wives ' books out there. I'll look for it and hope to heck it's on Kindle, too- makes it way too easy to read 3 and 4 books at a time, though. Plus the one I keep in the car, for when I forget the Kindle and have waiting-for-children to do. It would drive me insane to sit there- 10 minutes to kill and nothing Civil War to read! :smile:

I'll have to look up that pattern of Julia's- you're SO right, Donna- not enough time for everything!
 
JPK Huson, very nice post, I constantly nodded my head in approval.
Yes, I also think Bobby Lee was extremely handsome in his youth (he was also a very good looking older gentleman) and Mary Custis Lee seems to have been pretty reclusive. No wonder he looked for some amusement but of course he always behaved appropiately, I cant' think him anything else. I think that's why he informed his wife about his letters, he did not want to do that behind her back. But, if I had lived then ... I would have loved to receive such charming letters from such a charming gentleman ... married or not ...

Yes I think Mary Todd Lincoln had actually confronted Julia Grant. For example in this wonderful book she is quoted having shouted at Mrs. Grant in the Grant's own house (!): "How DARE you sit down in my presence without being invited!" (or something like that). There is another thread in the Abe Lincoln biography forum discussing if she was crazy. Most of the participants say no, she was just extremely stressed. Maybe, but I admit that I do not have much sympathy for her. Also, she must have been extremely jealous, she got terribly upset when any other woman stood next to the president or was riding her horse close to him. And I think Abraham Lincoln was not in the least as handsome as others ... notwithstanding my respect for his achievements as president.

Aaah the Kindle! Best purchase ever! Though some books I simply must have in print - those on my favourit subjects or by my favourite authors - for all those I just want to have a look into or know that I will read them only once, there is nothing better. Since I have joined here, I collected on my Kindle 32 books about the Civil War ... but I'm on vacation for the next 2 weeks so I will have a chance to read at least some of them. Therefore, when you see me again in mid-October in the forums hopefully I will have become a little more expert.
 
Yes, do have a wonderful vacation, look forward to having you back- for one thing, love to hear more about poor Mary Lincoln- she really yelled at Julia Grant? Boy, talk about wishing to be the proverbial fly on the wall that day, huh?

Btw, did you know there are quite a few free books for Kindle on the Civil War? All the best, classic bios and autobiographies- tons of battle reports, newspaper collections- it's endless. If you already are aware, please excuse, do not mean to come across like the person who knows everything.

Again, hope it's a wonderful vacation for you. I'm sure Donna and I speak for more in the forum when we say you'll be missed! Safe travels!
 
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