It's criminal to expose your cotton


First Sergeant
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Jul 23, 2017
Southwest Missouri
cant look.jpg

During the late war, a feminine rebel, a Memphian, and a widow, who shall go by the name of Mrs, C——, was going up the river on one of the Cairo packets, when she got Into an excited discussion with Col. S—. on the subject of the war.

“You may overrun the whole South," said Mrs. C——, “you may burn our towns, lay waste our plantations, maim or kill the last man, but then, sir, we will arm our boys with squirt-guns, and put one behind every stump in the land. What will you do then?"

“Oh,” replied the Colonel, “in that case we will be compelled to call out and arm enough of your n----s to surround all the stumps."

”But when you have accomplished all that, we, the women of the South will bare our breasts to the Federal bayonets.”

“You dare not do that, madam."

“Why not, sir?”

“For the simple reason, madam, it is unlawful. Your Confederate Congress made it criminal for you to expose your cotton to the Yankee forces."

The lady retired suddenly, while the listeners laughed uproariously.

The Tribune Almanac for the Years 1838-1868


Oct 22, 2012
The lady retired suddenly, while the listeners laughed uproariously.

She probably retired to load her pistol.

Why on earth would Yankees be interested in cotton, anyway? I thought they were there to free the slaves?

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