Northern Light
Lt. Colonel
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2014
Victorians were interesting people. Determined to show how "couth" they were, they invented stuff just for the sake of having more stuff. They invented and indeed lived the phrase," Conspicuous Consumption". Having the Smiths over for dinner? Impress them With 30 pieces of cutlery to perform every little task and fill up that mile long table that you bought yesterday. It also confuses the guests. "What's this fork for, Matilda?" Shush, Freddie, it's for the aspic." The WHAT???" It goes on.
One of the most useless and yet fashionable things the Victorians came up with was the Fainting Couch, Yup, you heard it here. The Fainting Couch, a piece of furniture that was meant to catch a woman when she was in the throes of tremendous angst. Your fiance just broke your engagement? Faint! Your husband just gambled away the family fortune? Faint! Your husband asks why you spent $1,000.00 on a new dress? Faint! The dog ate the Sunday Roast? You've got it! Faint!
Hang on there though, you can't just go around fainting ANYWHERE!!!!! That could be dangerous, especially if your husband is standing there with the dress bill in his hand and not feeling inclined to catch you. You need to be prepared for these situations, so you have a safe landing. Enter the Fainting Couch. Every woman needs one (or two, one for each floor?) Besides providing you with something to break you fall, you are going to look really good splayed on these babies!
They come in left and right falls, so you call faint left or right -handed.
Who knew that that fainting was ambidextrous?
Now you will notice that there is a fair amount of wood on these puppies, so you need to learn to faint carefully. DON'T JUST DROP! Well, not unless you want a concussion, which you don't, trust me on that!
You need to practice fainting. Seriously.
This is not what you want.
A face plant in the gravel is not good.
This is better, but not great. That floor is HARD!
This is how to do it!
So elegant, so refined.
Just make sure your sister isn't around to throw a bucket of water on you. Ehhmmm.
Now here are some more repositories for your faints, because in the Victorian vernacular, more is.. well, MORE!
When you are not in the mood for fainting, you can use your couch for other pastimes, like reading.
.
Or resting.
Or......
Use your imagination.
.
One of the most useless and yet fashionable things the Victorians came up with was the Fainting Couch, Yup, you heard it here. The Fainting Couch, a piece of furniture that was meant to catch a woman when she was in the throes of tremendous angst. Your fiance just broke your engagement? Faint! Your husband just gambled away the family fortune? Faint! Your husband asks why you spent $1,000.00 on a new dress? Faint! The dog ate the Sunday Roast? You've got it! Faint!
Hang on there though, you can't just go around fainting ANYWHERE!!!!! That could be dangerous, especially if your husband is standing there with the dress bill in his hand and not feeling inclined to catch you. You need to be prepared for these situations, so you have a safe landing. Enter the Fainting Couch. Every woman needs one (or two, one for each floor?) Besides providing you with something to break you fall, you are going to look really good splayed on these babies!
They come in left and right falls, so you call faint left or right -handed.
Who knew that that fainting was ambidextrous?
Now you will notice that there is a fair amount of wood on these puppies, so you need to learn to faint carefully. DON'T JUST DROP! Well, not unless you want a concussion, which you don't, trust me on that!
You need to practice fainting. Seriously.
This is not what you want.
A face plant in the gravel is not good.
This is better, but not great. That floor is HARD!
This is how to do it!
So elegant, so refined.
Just make sure your sister isn't around to throw a bucket of water on you. Ehhmmm.
Now here are some more repositories for your faints, because in the Victorian vernacular, more is.. well, MORE!
When you are not in the mood for fainting, you can use your couch for other pastimes, like reading.
Or resting.
Or......
Use your imagination.
.
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