Lee Gen. Lee and Santa

larry_cockerham

Southern Gentleman, Lest We Forget, 2011
Honored Fallen Comrade
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Location
Nashville
[This piece is taken from the book GENERAL LEE AND SANTA CLAUS, originally published in 1867, pages 32-35, now in the public domain.]



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Dear General Lee:

We think you are the goodest man that ever lived, and our auntie says you will go right straight to heaven when you die; so we want to ask you a question, for we want to know the truth about it, and we know that you always speak the truth.

Please tell us whether Santa Claus loves the little rebel children, for we think he don't; because he did not come to see us for four Christmas Eves. Auntie thinks you would not let him cross the lines, and we don't know how to find out unless we write and ask you. We all love you dearly, and we want to send you something; but we have not any thing nice enough; we lost all our toys in the war. Birdie wants to send you one of our white kittens--the one with black ears; but Auntie thinks maybe you don't like kittens. We say little prayers for you every night, dear General Lee, and ask God to make you ever so happy. Please let us know about Santa Claus as soon as you can; we want to know for something very, very, very particular; but we can't tell even you why until Christmas time, so please to excuse us.

Your little friends,

Lutie, Birdie, and Minnie


__________________


The above letter was sent the following day, and in about a week the answer was received:

My dear little friends:

I was very glad to receive your kind letter, and to know by it that I have the good wishes and prayers of three innocent little girls, named Lutie, Birdie, and Minnie.

I am very glad that you wrote about Santa Claus for I am able to tell you all about him. I can assure you he is one of the best friends that the little Southern girls have. You will understand this when I explain to you the reason of his not coming to see you for four years.

The first Christmas Eve of the war I was walking up and down in the camp ground, when I thought I heard a singular noise above my head; and on looking to find out from whence it came, I saw the queerest, funniest-looking little old fellow riding along in a sleigh through the air. On closer inspection, he proved to be Santa Claus.

Halt! Halt!, I said; but at this the funny fellow laughed, and did not seem inclined to obey, so again I cried Halt!. And he drove down to my side with a sleigh full of toys. I was very sorry for him when I saw the disappointed expression of his face when I told him he could go no further South; and when he exclaimed, Oh, what will my little Southern children do! I felt more sorry, for I love little children to be happy, and especially at Christmas. But of one thing I was certain--I knew my little friends would prefer me to do my duty, rather than have all the toys in the world; so I said: Santa Claus, take every one of the toys you have back as far as Baltimore, sell them, and with the money you get buy medicines, bandages, ointments, and delicacies for our sick and wounded men; do it and do it quickly--it will be all right with the children.
Then Santa Claus sprang into his sleigh, and putting his hand to his hat in true military style, said: I obey orders, General, and away he went. Long before morning he came sweeping down into camp again, with not only every thing I had ordered, but with many other things that our poor soldiers needed. And every Christmas he took the toy money and did the same thing; and the soldiers and I blessed him, for he clothed and fed many a poor soul who otherwise would have been cold and hungry. Now, do you not consider him a good friend. I hold him in high respect, and trust you will always do the same.

I should be pleased to hear from you again, my dear little girls, and I want you ever to consider me,

Your true friend,

General Robert E. Lee
 
Lee lied. I happen to know that Santa was captured crossing the border and arrested as a Confederate spy. One of the best lawyers in the Union at the time, Ben Butler petitioned for habeus corpus but that mean man in the White House ignored him and had Santa thrown into Elmira. That's the untold story of the Civil War I've yet to finish writing.
 
Are those letters for real? That is absolutely adorable. Nice catch on the part of Lee as to where Santa had been for four years.

Maybe Auntie was too attached to the kittens to let one go. Lee loved cats, by the way -- and a cursory study of the man demonstrates that he has "cat person" written all over him.
 
Are those letters for real? That is absolutely adorable. Nice catch on the part of Lee as to where Santa had been for four years.

Maybe Auntie was too attached to the kittens to let one go. Lee loved cats, by the way -- and a cursory study of the man demonstrates that he has "cat person" written all over him.

ALL Confederate military history is real. Didn't you know that?

Best of the New Year to you dear lady. We all greatly appreciate your posts.
 
Don't let the gray hair fool you, Ms Hale, Larry is a treacherous sutherner and he'll beguile you with sugary words while stretching your kitty's neck on the gibbet.

And then he'll hide behind the title of grampa. While professing goodness and light, he'll treacherously foster heathen thoughts of logic.

Gotta watch out for those Nashvillians.

Ole
 
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