My point exactly. Your new cook may turn out to be a serial killer.
Of course that was a real problem, and states tried to deal with it various ways. Especially after Nat Turner, there was a fear in the lower south that the upper south was just dumping its criminals out of state. Some of the deep south states banned the importation of slaves unless brought in by their owners, but that didn't last long, because people needed slaves. Sometimes there was a certificate of good character required.
On an individual level, some slave traders offered money-back guarantees, but there were countless lawsuits about slaves that had been misrepresented. Traders did have ways of "fixing up" slaves like used cars, to make them appear at their best at least temporarily, and of course slaves played the game themselves, trying to make themselves more or less attractive depending on whether they wanted to be sold or bought by any particular buyer.
What the heck is that? I guess it's a spoof on people paying for substitutes for the army. Among all the slave trading ads and articles, one of these things is not like the other, LOL!