Favorite Facial Hair Contest! Questions answered.

Jun 29, 2015
Caldwell, NJ
I'm already predicting a Chuck Norris win - not only did he single-beardedly end the conflict by staring down Lee's army, anyone who doesn't vote for him (even in the matchups that don't include him) will be roundhouse kicked through their computer screen or phone case

And in the spirit of answering questions that haven't been asked:

Q. Wouldn't Chuck Norris have been on the side of the Confederacy?
Mike "One Eyed Snake" Serpa, Beard, Kentucky

A. Norris is from Oklahoma, which was a free agent state. He sided with Abraham Lincoln due to beard. If Jeff Davis had had a bit more beard, our world would be a much different place today.
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