" Disagreeable Girls ", A Harper's Weekly Lament, April, 1865

JPK Huson 1863

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girls step sisters.JPG

The most legendary girls, disagreeably-wise, in all History ( albeit fictional ), Cinderella's stepsisters embody those skewered so well in Harper's print. The ' or else ', seems to follow along with what happens to those in fairy tales, too.

So funny. End of war news, Lincoln's death, funeral and search for conspirators, celebrations, reconstruction- was there room in any news publication for another word ? Apparently! Love to know the story behind this, important enough make this issue, of all issues.

girls dis 1a.jpg

' Defiantly ugly ', ' stupid ', ' prim '- hmmm.


Funnier, a couple recognizable 150 years later. Different words may be employed for some on occasion. Rank judgment on others, also recognizable.

girls dis 1b.jpg

Fair.

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girls dis 2b.jpg

We all know her!

girls haughty.jpg


girls dis 3.JPG

" She is frequently ugly." Moral of that story is, no prince.

girls prince horse.JPG


Hang on- too good an article to rush, more.
 

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John Hartwell

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Alright missy ("whose vocation in life is to make herself attractive!!!"), you've heard the judgement of we "who may be more readily pardoned" for our disagreeable qualities. Doesn't that just put you in your place!

If the word "sexist" was in use in 1865, I'm sure the author of that piece would say: "Who? ME? Never!"
 
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JPK Huson 1863

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Alright missy ("whose vocation in life is to make herself attractive!!!"), you've heard the judgement of we "who may be more readily pardoned" for our disagreeable qualities. Doesn't that just put you in your place!

If the word "sexist" was in use in 1865, I'm sure the author of that piece would say: "Who? ME? Never!"

Just got back to this, after forgetting the thread! Too funny! Well, we're all still at it, although this current generation seems a little more intent on substance. You know, I have to say, in reading era, Godey's articles, at least, you do not get the general snark for which women can be famous- attacking each other. It's a little delightful seeing a fair amount of support for each other. Then in walks Harpers!
 

JPK Huson 1863

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Here's a question, if it's of interest. We seem some better these days, maybe. I'm not sure poor Mary Todd would have had disappeared beneath a snarling wolf pack in 2018. Maybe? We can be pretty awful to and about each other instead of offering support, understanding and compassion in a world which remains largely a man's province. Seem to be seeing less of the ' disagreeable ' in my daughter's generation although that could be her profession, where everyone's working so hard, who has time for silly stuff?

Is it better? I can't tell. You can't go by what we see coming in on social and other media, since it's terrific as a tool for ' mean '. The thing is, 150 years ago ' we ' died for compassion, leaving homes, family and safety to help wounded, round up lost civilians, re-home war's orphans- the immense force for good is there. Keep waiting for us to understand how powerful we are, capable of stirring up good stuff instead of piddling around in nonsense.
 

grace

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As a girl who a) is very conservative and b) is 'into' things such as living history/reenacting, folk dancing, country dancing and so forth, I don't think it's as bad as it used to be. The major difference is we can get away from the other girls--most of the time!

We're not stuck in small towns as much as they were, everyone has a much wider social sphere (within reason) and tradition isn't invoked (generally speaking, I'll still get it some places) as a be-all end-all.

However, girls will always be catty in some degree or other. Yay...

The thing is, 150 years ago ' we ' died for compassion, leaving homes, family and safety to help wounded, round up lost civilians, re-home war's orphans- the immense force for good is there. Keep waiting for us to understand how powerful we are, capable of stirring up good stuff instead of piddling around in nonsense.
Now, the mindset of the times is a different topic, I think. Here's a following-up question: When was the last time America as a whole had something worth dying for?
 

LoriAnn

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Is it better?
It's not.

Grace said some can get away, and to a degree that's true, but overall it's all pretty much the same. People can be wonderful to each other. And people can be absolutely awful.

Some women are dedicated to helping lift each other up, and some are more than happy to scr*w you over.
Also very mean things said on media about people and some women in general.

Wish people would be kinder and have more compassion.
Agree.
 
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JPK Huson 1863

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It's not.

Grace said some can get away, and to a degree that's true, but overall it's all pretty much the same. People can be wonderful to each other. And people can be absolutely awful.

Some women are dedicated to helping lift each other up, and some are more than happy to scr*w you over.

Agree.

What a waste? I was hoping we'd grown some kahungas. There seems to be men attached to an awful lot of it ( who have no clue there's anything at all in the air , God bless them ), or maybe just boredom mixed with a tendency to use our creativity as a weapon. The thing is, as we've been hammering away at in Ladies Tea, we have so much in common. Look at this war, and topics that send threads into lockdown! North/South, rich/poor, black/white- women waded in and brought what sanity they could, saw each other suffer unspeakable losses, held families together through conditions which dissolved humanity. Efforts to glue us together got bought by corporations, but we were so divided, we lacked the strength to stop it.

Yep. Isn't it just weird? Wish we'd get more of a kick out of each other because we're a blast. Our newest generations make me laugh so hard, with all that incredible potential, happy they'll be choosing the nursing homes. Still, boy do we have work to do before signing it over to them. Like indicating how much we need each other, and refusing the temptation to see each other as different.
 

JPK Huson 1863

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Now, the mindset of the times is a different topic, I think. Here's a following-up question: When was the last time America as a whole had something worth dying for?

I don't know if it's necessarily for a specific American cause our women healers risk their lives in the military, to this day? I say ' women healers ' because women docs were resisted 150 years ago. I mean, haven't asked one and signing up to serve one's country indicates a level of ' America ' in one's intentions. Still, we have them in harm's way as I write this. Haven't thought this through so may be all kinds of wrong but service seems the point, not which point of contention has put our people where they are?

That's a terrific point, on how much more open our society is now, with more avenues of interest easily pursued. Have to say it works both ways, since we get to ' see ' each other, too. I tend to see reenactors as carrying history forward, so a little smitten with it, watching.
 

LoriAnn

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What a waste? I was hoping we'd grown some kahungas
Yep. You and me both. But there are powerful women out there who are excellent models. My husband's boss is fantastic. She's a lion. Stands up to anyone for both genders. Stands up for what's right. If one gets a verbal smack from her, one usually deserves it. No competitiveness or cattiness. She has absolutely no need for it because she's the real deal.

There seems to be men attached to an awful lot of it ( who have no clue there's anything at all in the air , God bless them ), or maybe just boredom mixed with a tendency to use our creativity as a weapon.
From what I've seen from the sidelines, it's plain old competitiveness. Guys do it too, but it's interesting that I don't hold them to the same exact standard. Instead I'm extra disappointed when women do it to each other.
 

grace

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From what I've seen from the sidelines, it's plain old competitiveness. Guys do it too, but it's interesting that I don't hold them to the same exact standard. Instead I'm extra disappointed when women do it to each other.
This has always fascinated me. I'm the oldest of seven and right under me are some brothers. Needless to say, we did not get into trouble for the same things, even if we did them together and the same parent found us. Some things don't change!
 

LoriAnn

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This has always fascinated me. I'm the oldest of seven and right under me are some brothers. Needless to say, we did not get into trouble for the same things, even if we did them together and the same parent found us. Some things don't change!
Yes. This sounds familiar. :smile:

With me, I always look at women and think, "You should understand each other. You should know better!" Especially when it comes to both supporting each other and cutting each other some slack.
 

AshleyMel

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"Some are disagreeable because they can not help being so; others are disagreeable because they will not take the trouble to rid themselves of the peculiar quality which renders them unendurable."

Yups. Sure.
And spankings. Some just needed more spankings!
 


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