What did your family call The War?

...I think it's called being polite, not "folding to peer pressure." There are lots of topics (phrases, etc.) folks would be wise to steer clear of in certain social situations.

Yes, it is wise to protect oneself from personal embarrassment in certain social situations, but unless you yourself thought it embarrassing why do it? Honesty works as well.
 
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Yes, it is wise to protect oneself from personal embarrassment in certain social situations, but unless you yourself thought it embarrassing why do it? Honesty works as well.

Do you enjoy baiting people? I mean that's what it boils down to when someone deliberately says something they know will likely elicit either an angry or emotional response from the person that they’re interacting with. Of course honesty works as well, but in some situations nothing needs to be said. Commenting on how someone's mother reacts in a certain situation is one of them. That isn't "cute."

“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.” – Thomas Jefferson
 
I usually just call it the Civil War. I might be revealing my ignorance, but is there something offensive about calling it the War of the Rebellion? I've used that term sometimes.

Roy B.
The Confederate position was that they had the right to leave the Union. To the Union, the South was in rebellion. It's a question of legitimacy.
 
This article nicely presents the various terms used over time and the ways each term presents the war differently

 
In his writings, my 2x great grandfather called it the War Between the States. He was in it - a Confederate surgeon - so my theory is he had a right to call it whatever he wanted. So did anyone else who was a participant on either side - whether they were a general, soldier, surgeon, teamster, or nurse.

His son, my great grandfather, was dead before I was born so I don't know what he called it, but my own grandfather who died when I was 10, called it the the "Wawah Between the States" but always wrote it as "War Between the States" <title case> like this:
Signatures on deed.JPG

My father's family was from Pennsylvania. They called it the "Civil War" and I remember as a kid, there were no colorful family stories from that side of the family. I always wondered why. I mean, their ancestors helped to win the war. Why didn't they talk about the battles they were in?

My grandfather and his sisters still felt intense regret for the family home that had been burned; all the family heirlooms, pictures, and genealogy information that was lost in the fire. Sure new stuff was bought after the war. But, for my family at least, those heirlooms, old documents, family bibles, and even farm ledgers were their "family history." My great grandmother, my grandfather, and his sister worked for years to reconstruct all that family information. Heck, I'm still working on it today. I believe their greatest regret was the loss of their family history and it was something they couldn't let go of. It was too close; too raw.

I guess my mother was the cross over generation. She called it by both names - the War Between the States and the Civil War. I never called it anything but the Civil War. It was the name we were taught in school and being a committed student, I learned to use that name. So did my sister and my brother.
 
In my extended family, The War always meant WWII. "War between the states" was the Civil War, which wasn't talked about much because WWII was the big one that everybody had lived through. Nobody ever said anything about the cause of the war between the states. I had to figure that out for myself.
 
The term "Civil War" being considered PC ("politically correct") by anybody is already suspect, but a Southern mom folding to peer pressure is the unbelievable part ...cute story though.

It is in fact politically correct, as evidenced by your suspicion. A Southern woman living in the North best be careful how she speaks of the War.

You all will not stand for any version but your own, as evidenced by your post.
 
Appalachian NC relatives always pronounce war as "wore." :smile:
I still pronounce it that way....my grand daddy was descended from No'th Ca'linians who descended fhom Vi'ginians. He pronounced it "Wawah." No "r" - in fact, there were no r's in his entiah vocabulahy. :D
 
Yes, it is wise to protect oneself from personal embarrassment in certain social situations, but unless you yourself thought it embarrassing why do it? Honesty works as well.

If sincere, you appear to not be closely familiar with classic southern motherhood (and, by extension, southern women). Many things were left unsaid out of decorum and concern for the feelings of others. Now, that's not to say there weren't many ways of expressing one's agreement or disagreement without actually spelling it out (e.g. "bless his heart" which is a classic). Men, while in the company of other men, could often be more direct but were also expected to restrain themselves when in mixed company. Honesty and bold assertion or expression of opinion are not the same in the south (or, at least, the south I grew up in). While one wouldn't lie, one also wouldn't make a point of disagreement in polite conversation as it would make others uncomfortable. Some things were just thought best not discussed in many situations.

It may well be different these days in many parts of the south but my parents were born in the early 1900s and that's how they were raised and how I was expected to behave (a while back I admit but not that long ago).
 
Many things were left unsaid out of decorum and concern for the feelings of others.
Many things were are still left unsaid out of decorum and concern for the feelings of others. :D

In my Southern upbringing and experience, leaving some things unsaid is just basic good manners, etiquette, and/or tact. Certainly subjects that are known to be sensitive or inflammatory are to be avoided so as not to hurt another's feelings. We call it polite conversation and it works. Those who fail to take into account the feelings of others are not generally well-received.
 
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Civil War or The War in our house--conversations usually referenced the Civil War then in subsequent comments it would be The War.

Although it just struck me--in Texas one might need to ask if the person is referring to the war or the wire... :D

And manners. Yes. Politeness first of all. However, you'll know when a woman in the South is done with your rudeness.

 
War of the Rebellion is what you see on all the old documents and records. I don't know just when that fell out of use.

Yes, that is the term used in the Official Records, for example. Unless I misunderstood, one of our companions here implied he was offended when a co-worker used the term "War of the Rebellion," so I wondered whether that is offensive to some.

Roy B.
 
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