Black Friday Is Coming: 19th Century Shopping Etiquette

I'm not above strategically timing grocery story runs to days and times when I know nobody I know is there. :angel:
I have a tendency to go when things are quieter, too :smile: The main issue is parking! I hate parellel parking and usually choose a spot where I can drive in and straight out again (the front park). The worst case scenario is when there is a large truck or such parked next to you and you don't have enough vision to see what's coming as you reverse out :eek:
 
I have a tendency to go when things are quieter, too :smile: The main issue is parking! I hate parellel parking and usually choose a spot where I can drive in and straight out again (the front park). The worst case scenario is when there is a large truck or such parked next to you and you don't have enough vision to see what's coming as you reverse out :eek:
I don't like parallel parking either.

I usually park at the far end of the parking lot. A bit of a walk but less crowded. It always irritates me when I walk out of the store, see my car at the far end, supposedly all by its lonesome, and realize someone still parked right next to me, despite there being rows of empty spots! :cry:
 
I don't like parallel parking either.

I usually park at the far end of the parking lot. A bit of a walk but less crowded. It always irritates me when I walk out of the store, see my car at the far end, supposedly all by its lonesome, and realize someone still parked right next to me, despite there being rows of empty spots! :cry:
I always park at the far end of the lot to give me a bit more exercise, as my doctor recommended to my husband.
I do, however, enjoy travelling on Civil War tours with my SIL, who has a disabled parking hanger. :D
 
Sounds like at least one Victorian poet had the right idea...

A Gift

What's the best thing I can offer
As a gift for you to-day?
Any present I may proffer
You will value it, you say.
That is very sweetly spoken,
Yet, however that may be,
I should wish to choose the token
Carefully—so let us see.

Shall I send a nosegay, dearest?
Ah! the summer flowers are dead,
And the leaves are in their serest,
And the fruit has lost its red;
And, besides, the flowers would perish,
Lose their scent, and fade and die;
But a gift for you to cherish
Should be more than petals dry.

Shall I send a pretty present,
Something tasteful, something rare?
Something to the senses pleasant,
Something quaint, or something fair?
Yet, perhaps, you would not choose it,
If the choice could rest with you,
And some day perhaps you'd lose it,
Or the thing might break in two.

Shall I send you for your reading
Some loved book of noble thought,
Spirit-stirring, spirit-leading,
Teaching what you would be taught?
Yet perhaps upon the morrow
I might learn 'twas yours before,
Or some day a friend might borrow,
To return it never more!

What if I to-day should send you
Something of my very own,
No one else can give or lend you,
No one ask for on a loan--
Something that will still be waking
When the flowers in dust are strewed?
Something far too strong for breaking,
And you can't lose if you would.

Love I send you, very tender,
Everlasting, ever true,
That will show you how the sender
Thinks and cares and feels for you;
And when life is at its dreariest,
Or when outside things look grey,
May my fadeless present, dearest,
Point you to a brighter day!


—Harriet L. Childe-Pemberton, 1883.
 
tissot-james-the-milliners-shop_orig.jpg

Painting by James Tissot
 
hills-p151_orig.jpg

(Courtesy of The Victorian Life.)
It seems the phrase, Black Friday, may have first been used in Philadelphia to describe the heavy and disruptive pedestrian and vehicle traffic that occurred on the day after Thanksgiving. The term has now become almost synonymous with shopping mayhem.

Well apparently our Victorian friends also dealt with frantic and rude holiday shoppers. This list originally appeared in the 19th-century book, Hill's Manual of Social and Business Forms, in 1891.


Do not take hold of a piece of goods which another is examining. Wait until it is replaced upon the counter before you take it up.

***
Injuring goods when handling, pushing aside other persons, hanging upon the counter, whispering, loud talk and laughter, when in a store, are all evidence of ill-breeding.

***
Never attempt to "beat down" prices when shopping. If the price does not suit, go elsewhere. The just and upright merchant will have but one price for his goods, and he will strictly adhere to it.

***
It is an insult to a clerk or merchant to suggest to a customer about to purchase that may buy cheaper or better elsewhere. It is also rude to give your opinion, unasked, about the goods that another is purchasing.

***​

Never expect a clerk to leave another customer to wait on you; and, when attending upon you, do not cause him to wait while you visit with another. When the purchases are made let them be sent to your home, and thus avoid loading yourself with bundles.

***​

Treat clerks, when shopping, respectfully, and give them no more trouble than is necessary. Ask for what is wanted, explicitly, and if you wish to make examination with a view to future purchase, say so. Be perfectly frank. There is no necessity in practicing deceit.

***​

The rule should be to pay for goods when you buy them. If, however, you are trusted by the merchant, you should be very particular to pay your indebtedness when you agree to. By doing as you promise, you acquire good habits of promptitude, and at the same time establish credit and make reputation among those with whom you deal.

***​

It is rude in the extreme to find fault and to make sneering remarks about goods. To draw unfavorable comparisons between the goods and those found at other stores does no good, and shows want of deference and respect to those who are waiting on you. Politely state that the goods are not what you want, and, while you may buy, you prefer to look further.



Ahhhhh … simple common sense civility that many in our culture have lost.
 
This year, I have my eye on a heavily discounted cell phone to replace the ancient one I currently own

Same here! This is the first year I can't wait for Black Friday to come! My Kindle Fire which is about 5 or 6 years old has given up, the battery is always empty, it is soooo sloooow and shuts down every 10 minutes, so I need to buy another one.
But thankfully I can order it from Amazon, but I hope it will be seriously discounted!

Until 3 or 4 years ago we here neither knew Black Friday nor Cyber Monday. We have adopted that from you. Now I hope I will live to see the stores opened on Sunday. As both Dirk and I are working we can only go shopping together on Saturdays, when all the other couples and families do the same. I'd really love going to the mall or shopping groceries on Sunday. And moreover, with all the stores closed any city looks so bleak! Although, about 4 times a year the stores here open on Sunday afternoon and that is pure hell. Everyone wants to take part in these events and there is no parking space, no table to be had in any restaurant or café and the stores are stuffed with people. We so enjoy when we come to the US that your stores open until late in the evening and on weekends.
 
Same here! This is the first year I can't wait for Black Friday to come! My Kindle Fire which is about 5 or 6 years old has given up, the battery is always empty, it is soooo sloooow and shuts down every 10 minutes, so I need to buy another one.
But thankfully I can order it from Amazon, but I hope it will be seriously discounted!
I don't blame you for wanting to get a new one! My phone is not quite there yet, but it has started freezing and deciding the only way to function is die. It also has rejected pretty basic apps, like email. I feel so spurned! :giggle:

Until 3 or 4 years ago we here neither knew Black Friday nor Cyber Monday. We have adopted that from you. Now I hope I will live to see the stores opened on Sunday. As both Dirk and I are working we can only go shopping together on Saturdays, when all the other couples and families do the same. I'd really love going to the mall or shopping groceries on Sunday. And moreover, with all the stores closed any city looks so bleak! Although, about 4 times a year the stores here open on Sunday afternoon and that is pure hell. Everyone wants to take part in these events and there is no parking space, no table to be had in any restaurant or café and the stores are stuffed with people. We so enjoy when we come to the US that your stores open until late in the evening and on weekends.
I hadn't realized German stores were normally closed on Sundays! I was in Germany several years ago for about a week. I think it may have fallen where we always traveled on weekends--can't remember--so it never came up.

My options are a bit limited where I live in the U.S. because it is a small town, which is one reason I really like online shopping. Our one grocery store closed earlier this year and people are still mad about it. But Wal-Mart and their 24/7 service will apparently always be with us. :laugh:
 
I don’t go out on Black Friday, and was appalled when I first heard of stores being open Thanksgiving Day/Evening. I shop year round for gifts, and only go the the stores when I know what I want is on sale..or I hit the internet and only buy where I can get free shipping as well. I’m not cheap, I’m frugal!
 
You're in good company @Mrs. V. Our Victorians friends knew a thing or two about being frugal. They repurposed everything. When the sheets from their bed became too thin because they were slept on so much, they just cut the sheet down the center and sewed the outer sides together. Think about it. The sides of the sheets are usually hanging off the edge of the bed or tucked underneath. They don’t see that much wear and tear. When their sheets were too ratty or had too many holes to be used as bed linens, then they repurposed them again as napkins or dust rags.
 
You're in good company @Mrs. V. Our Victorians friends knew a thing or two about being frugal. They repurposed everything. When the sheets from their bed became too thin because they were slept on so much, they just cut the sheet down the center and sewed the outer sides together. Think about it. The sides of the sheets are usually hanging off the edge of the bed or tucked underneath. They don’t see that much wear and tear. When their sheets were too ratty or had too many holes to be used as bed linens, then they repurposed them again as napkins or dust rags.
I use old sheets for petticoats, and for making the “muslin” before I cut the good fabric. It’s saved me a time or two from having things be too small or yards too big. Some of these modern patterns! Yeesh!
 
When their sheets were too ratty or had too many holes to be used as bed linens, then they repurposed them again as napkins or dust rags.

I know someone who still does that here! And as for myself I must admit that I cut these old bed sheets in squares and use them for polishing shoes when cleaning them.
I'm not an eco person that much (other than sorting trash and returning bottles) but I guess we will have to get used to re-use things more in the future. Something we can learn from the Victorians.
 
I never go shopping unless I absolutely need it. Not if I may need it or I might need it in the distant future. Tell everyone NOT to buy presents for me instead use that money for a college fund for their children.

My family still preserves all our fruit and veggies, as well as make pies then freeze for future use. Meat is hunted, Or a whole cow, pig, sheep is purchased from the rancher or fish, crab, lobster, clams are caught in lakes, rivers or the sea then preserved as well for future use... The family always has anywhere from 1 to 3 years worth of food stored away.

We skip the whole black friday stuff...
 
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