Etiquette

tulip · #1 10-16-2002, 11:58 PM

Bear in mind that all ****** habits are to be scrupulously avoided in a private ball-room. It is an affront to a highly-bred lady to held her hand behind you, or on your hip, when dancing a round dance.

A thoughtful hostess will never introduce a bad dancer to a good one, because she has no right to punish one friend in order to oblige another.

Lastly a gentleman should not go to a ball unless he has previously made up his mind to be agreeable: that is, to dane with the plainest as well as the most beautiful; to take down an elderly chaperone to supper, instead of her lovely charge, with a good grace; to enter into the spirit of the dance, instead of hanging about the doorway; to abstain from immoderate eating, drinking or talking; to submit to trifling annoyances with cheerfulness; in fact, to forget himself, and contribute as much as possible to the amusement of others.Mixing in Society (London and New York 1860, pages 164-66)

Do not be the last to leave the ball room. It is more elegant to leave early as staying too late gives others the impression that you do not often have an invitation to a ball, and must make the most of it.  The Gentlemen's Book by Cecil B. Hartley (Boston C 1860 pg 97)

tulip · #2 10-17-2002, 02:06 AM

Spitting on the carpet, is a nasty practice, and shocking, in a man of liberal education. Were this to become general, it would be necessary to change the carpets, as the tablecloths; besides it will lead our acquaintance to suppose that we have not been used to genteel furniture. The American Chesterfield [1827 pg 172]

Never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails, or worse than all, pick your nose in company; all these things are disgusting. Spit as little as possible, and never upon the floor. If you going into company of ladies beware of onions, spirits and tobacco. The Art of Good Behavior (New York 1845 pg 31-32)

tulip · #3 10-17-2002, 02:28 AM

When conversing with young and gay women, do not discourse of metaphysics, but chat about the last fashion, the new opera or play, the last concert or novel, etc. With single ladies past twenty-five, speak of literary matters, music &c., and silently compliment them by a proper deference to their opinions. With married ladies, inquire about the health of their children, speak of their grace and beauty &c. True Politeness, A Handbook for Gentlemen (New York 1847 pg 24)

thea_447 · #4 04-18-2003, 11:09 PM

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gary · #5 10-03-2003, 04:49 PM

Thank you Connie and I openly admit that I would not even be allowed to attend a dance. A "bummer" at heart, I'd go for the food and then skedaddle.

unionblue · #6 11-03-2003, 02:27 AM

Gary,

I'm sure Connie would have appreciated your comment above, but Connie left us not so long ago and went on to a better place. She is deeply missed by all her friends here on the board and many of us still use her past threads for information and inspiration.

YMOS,
Unionblue

thea_447 · #7 11-03-2003, 11:58 AM

You're right about that. She passed away just as I had come to this board. I have read many of her articles and although we would have been light years apart, I can appreciate her great knowledge.