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Lee was of the old school; look at how he dressed to go to the surrender-full dress uniform, clean and business-like; prepared for a formal meeting and kept a straight face.
Grant was of the new school; he was wearing, if memory serves, a seargent's jacket (perhaps he couldn't find his own or clothing that defines a man was not a serious need that day...this in itself says alot), mud streaked pants because he had been in the field and was in what seemed to be a friendly mood.
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I don't see it as old/new school, Bonnie Blue. Maybe more like the aristocrat/commoner? Or High/Low born.
Grant, as a Lieutenant General likely had an LG's uniform, but I've seen no mention of him ever wearing it. (There was that silly photo of him in his officer's uniform with the undersized hat.) His preferred dress was to not call attention to himself. Lee likely didn't wear colorful sashes and chicken-salad all over his sleeves while he was on a campaign either, and his collar-insignia was usually that of a colonel throughout the war.
The story of Appomattox generally has it that Lee wore his full dress uniform as befitting a top general meeting his counterpart. This was the gentlemanly thing to do. Grant had lost contact with his gear and showed up as he was. That did mark a departure from the genteel rules of conduct. Lee was gracious enough to not notice and Grant was gracious enough to apologize for it.
But it makes an interesting discussion.
ole