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Just recently I was checking out a U.S. Grant message board and was surprised by something I read. The discussion had been about Grant being unfaithful to his wife and having a son with someone other than Julia. The author of one of the reply posts said something to the extent of "Unlike Lee, and others, who it can be proven were unfaithful to their wives, Grant was loyal to the wife that he loved." Lee? Unfaithful? I hardly dare to use those two words in the same sentence. But can someone prove that "maybe-biased" author from the Grant board correct?
I'd be interested in the documentation as well, that Lee was proven unfaithful. Something like that is rather hard to prove, especially 150 years after the fact! I can't see the Marble Model, who got through West Point without a single demerit, engaging in any sort of dalliance.
Zou,
I know even in 2002 men can be terrible... But in the 19th Century I can imagine even more. But you are right, he does not seem the type. He seems to have been an all around good man.
-Frank
I don't pretend to be an authority on Lee, far from it. However, over the years I have read quite a few books by quite a few authors regarding the subject of Lee. Taken together, these books point to a man who was extremely devoted to his mother, had three daughters and was very devoted to his invalid wife.
Not once Have I ever read anywhere that he was unfaithful to his wife. On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence that he did indeed enjoy the company of women in general. It is said that he particularly enjoyed engaging women in conversation, that he felt more at ease around them. He wrote to a distant female cousin for a number of years after the war. If someone has hard proof of an unfaithful Lee, I'd like to see it. I would not believe it for a minute. Because you like the company of other women, does not make you unfaithful.
Lee was exposed to a lot of the feminine side, it is said partly in jest and partly true that his three daughters never married because they could not find anyone who could measure up to Lee.
As an unabashed admirer of Lee, I should point out things which probably some of the posters on that GRant board are saying. Let's see, he was unfaithful because his wife was at home in Arlington an invalid, while he was out galavanting on the Texas plains. I have heard that before. But my favorite was that while his wife was in Richmond and he was fighting with his army, he only stopped to see her three whole times during the war. I have heard that too from a Lee basher. I don't know if its true, but even if it was, the guy had the weight of the entire Southern nation down on his shoulders. He probably thought about nothing else than kicking out the Yankees. And, if what I read about his wife Mary was true, that's where she wanted him to be as well, defending the country.
Thank you for your post, Bill. I am, as well, a fan of Lee and was shocked by what was said on that Grant board. I suppose there are people who do not think as highly of Lee as I, but I would certainly hope that they would not take a swing at his reputation with a down right lie.
-Aimee
I remember reading in the book "The Marble Man" that Lee sometimes sent letters to other women which, read today, seem awfully close to outright flirtation. But even Thomas Connelly, the author of the book - reviled in parts of the South for his "revisionist" treatment of the myth of R.E. Lee - never suggested Lee actually had extramarital affairs. It must be remembered it was a different time, and flowery language was common among learned men, especially in their letters. I'd jump back on the Grant board and demand the poster reveal his source!
Jim
PS Connelly's book isn't nearly as critical of Lee as I'd first assumed; it was actually a good book. The one I haven't read is Nolan's "Lee Considered", but even there I don't recall hearing that the author ever suggested Lee was unfaithful..
I have also heard some of the same stories about Washington. George was no doubt a ladies man. (Anyone handsome man in a promenant position must have been sought after by the ladies. Abe may have been an exception to that) but I believe that himself and Lee were both faithfull to their wives.
I read a jacket in the Library fairly recently on a biography of Lee that intimated that the book contained at least the assertion that Lee was unfaithful. I have been intending to go back and check out the book but my work has been extremely hectic lately and I have had very little time for my reading. I will try and check back and forward the info on the book very soon.
Washington being unfaithful is believed my most all academic presidential scholars. Same with Lincoln. Hell some of the hippies in Berkely who teach presidential history say truman was but thats hard to believe. However Lee being unfaithful is only believed by the yankee revisionist history writers who hates us down here so much because we love Lee. And why shouldn't we? Remember people, anyone can publish anything. that don't make it true.
I am to you all
Your most humble srvt,
Jason Corlew
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