Civil War History - General DiscussionFor Discussions on Civil War Era Personalities, Politics, Issues, Campaigns, Battles, and more. Serious Civil War Discussions Only Please! All other posts will be deleted.
Though we think as certain men as pillars of honor and of valiant devotion to their wives. We must remember if we find out that they may have been fooling around we must remember if so that they are human. And in some ways it makes them a more complete man for they have made mistakes in their lives as we all may have.
Besides what woman in the south, wouldn't have dreamed of the possibility. Who would blame them. His daughters wouldn't marry cause the men coundn't come close to setting the example their father did in their eyes.
I went back to that Grant board and asked the poster for his sources (as was suggested). Boy did I heat up a discussion there! I had many replies from people on that board, and most of them seem certain that there is some truth to saying Lee was unfaithful. Some of them have presented some information that I plan to look into, such as letters written by Lee (that were mentioned here). But the information that one poster said I should read was also accompanied by the words "and decide for yourself". So I am assuming that after he read this Lee-devestating information, something was left to his imagination, so he decided for himself that Lee had in fact committed adultery. I am still looking for answers. I see a long road ahead of me. Thank you all for your comments.
-RallyRound
Given Lee's concept of duty and his practice of self-denial, I highly doubt that there was a physical act or acts that can be considered as unfaithful. I do not doubt, as was postulated earlier in several of the preceding posts, that the manner in which he expressed himself or his use of the english language may leave open for interpretation the remote possibility of infidelity.
But I ask you this, I have been married for 31 years and have three kids. I have a female cousin who is German. I write her and tell her how much I enjoy the company of the european branch of our family and how much I enjoyed showing her around NYC. I sign the letter "Love, your Cousin Bill"
Now, am I being unfaithful? Its what you read into it I suppose, unless there is some hard evidence around that points to the sin, I would tend to believe, Lee was a good family man in all interpretations of the word.
How about setting up a new section, "Civil War Gossip"...?
Seriously, some random thoughts. If there's one person I'd excuse for straying is Lee, given the circumstances of his marriage. However there are other considerations. It strikes me as strange, in those times, that he would be so indiscreet in writing to a lover. So maybe, whatever he wrote, it was an excess in candor. I don't want to idealise him, but if he really was as the majority depicts him, there's a Latin saying that goes "Omnia munda mundis", all things are pure to those who are pure. Also, I think it was fairly usual to express oneself in sentimental terms; even between heterosexual men there was something as "romantic friendship". Moreover, as Bill said, it seems religion was a serious affair for Lee, like for Stonewall Jackson. I think I read somewhere that he made many sacrifices to be a devout man, so why not this one. Finally, insinuating sexual dalliances is the easiest form of slander, because it's almost impossible to disprove. Yes, anybody could stray, because we don't have the records of every instant of a person's life.
As I said I don't want to put anybody on a pedestal, but I'm also a bit distrustful of explaining something with human fallibility. Present company excluded, of course, Tom! Your interpretation is the positive one: to be understanding when discovering defects in others. However many use it as an excuse. "Oh well, I'm human, so this can't be helped" and they don't even make the effort. I'm glad when I read that Lee or Grant were good husbands (for example) because I'd rather look up at someone who managed to do something right, since to me it means that, while fallible, human nature can also be improved upon.
I will look into my source about Lincoln. Not just heresay and I remember it from a class on the presidency and presidential character and leadership. I thought it was pretty much understood that he and mary consumed other relations during the days of her craziness. I shall find the sources for sure just give me time. School is starting in a week and im moving back this weekend but i will be looking.
It amazes me how when people wish to see something bad about someone they read what they want into things. I for one think that Robert E. Lee was a great great man. I respect him and all he did. He was noble, caring, loving and a true Southern Gentleman.
Where is this "Grant Board" you all keep talking about?
SouthernHeart Lorrie
Southern Heart, I also believe that Lee was a great, great man. I am sorry that the topic I brought up seems to have upset you. I only want the truth, and if someone suggests that this might be true, I think it fair to ask and to look into it. I do not wish to see anything bad about Lee. I only wish to enhance my knowledge of a man that I admire. Again, my apologies.
This discussion is running on one of my other clubs, and somebody opined that Mrs. Lee was so ill-tempered and ugly that of course Robert would have a reason to stray. I can't vouch for her temperament, but here is a link to a picture of her.
CivilWarTalk.com -
A free and friendly Civil War community. 
Linear Mode
