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Got this in an email from the wife. Thought you all might enjoy it.
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN.
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer that question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this sen to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content to just wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
_________________________________________________
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist."
Unionblue
PS I was a Republican (Sigh).
__________________ "The American people and the Government at Washington may refuse to recognize it for a time but the inexorable logic of events will force it upon them in the end; that the war now being waged in this land is a war for and against slavery." Frederick Douglass
"Loyalty to our ancestors does not include loyalty to their mistakes." George Santayana
(The Republican and family then run onto another street. They see some other Islamic looking people there) bang, bang, bang!
Child: What about the guy with the knife?
Republican: keep shooting, he's bound to come over here!(reloads) We've gonna have to get the army to invade.
Wife: Won't that be dangerous?
Republican: (laughs) It's not like our kids are in the army! I mean, be patriotic!
(Accountant approaches and shows a bill to parents)
Repubilcan: These guys I'm invading will pay the bill(accountant shakes his head) Give it to my kids, then.
Kids: Awww dad.
Republican: (shakes head sadly) a nation of whiners.
The Democratic scenario, meanwhile... (Speaking as a registered Democrat, so again, anyone who takes this seriously shall be mocked)
Democrat: Oh crap oh crap oh crap what do we do what do we do.
Terrorist: Hahahaha! Die weakling infidel!
Wife: ::grabs the gun and shoots the terrorist.::
Alternately
Democrat: BANG! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! ::starts shooting at people who look vaguely Arabic::
Wife: Um, honey, what are you doing?
Democrat: I'm showing that I'm not "soft" on terror!
Wife: I'm leaving you.
Democrat: But I'm a Democrat! I'm the lesser of two evils!
Wife: Lesser my ---. ::walks off with kids.::
Daughter: Is daddy a bad man, mommy?
Wife: Yes.
Daughter: But he killed the terrorist.
Wife: And about three hundred other people.
Son: That's bad?
Wife: ...
__________________ Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less. - Robert E. Lee
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. - Abraham Lincoln
Without altering your original post with standards; Republican and Southern. I wouldn't have just one round--I do a head and heart shot; which is more than one 'BANG.' [Chuckles]
But, I wouldn't waste ammo on excess shots. Might run into more problems as I walk on.
Of course I would replentish my clip, clean my Glock and holster it with satisfaction and wash my hands and arms with kerosene to mute the blackpowder residue.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
M. E. Wolf
Got this in an email from the wife. Thought you all might enjoy it.
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN.
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer that question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this sen to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content to just wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
_________________________________________________
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist."
Unionblue
PS I was a Republican (Sigh).
UnionBlue;
Yes, you are definitely a period 'Republican'! However, a couple of points I should like to make, here...
First off, I must really protest the insensitivity to the minority known as SOUTHERNER, here. I think such
does not take into account the feelings of the Southerner and is hurtful and unproductive to establishing good relations with these oppressed peoples who have endured so much for so long, and...
"Honey, call the bomb squad! And a haz-mat crew! Kids!
Stay back! He's wired with enough explosives to bring down the entire block! Besides, he probably hasn't had his shots!"
I would be debating with myself, as I was sighted in' between the eyes or through the Heart? (Bang)
I tend to follow instructions, so I probably would have chosen, through the heart.
When I was in college, a friend (we'll call him RP) was walking across campus in uniform.
A trust fund hippy stepped in front of him, looked up, wound up a potent dose of self righteousness and said "Warmonger" - presumably punctuated thus "!"
RP looked down, calmly said a word that rhymes with fussy and means coward, sidestepped once to his right, and continued on his way unruffled.
How do you know he as "an Islamic Terrorist"? he may have been an ordinary deranged "homeless person" (what we used ao call a "bum").
Was he wearing a sign that said "Islamic Terrorist"?
Isn't it part of the job description of an Islamic Terrorist that one should not look like an Islamic Terrorist?
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I was most puzzled by the implication that Unionblue and "the wife" use email as their routine method of communication. Blue, get your nose out of the Civil War books at the dinner table and introduce yourself!
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__________________ -
"It was a very peculiar time." - Franklin D. Cossitt
Ancestors in USA Army: 6th IA Inf, 11th IL Cav, 1st AL Cav; 122nd NY Inf; 6th MI Cav; 35th MA Inf; 100th IL Inf; 1st CO Inf/Cav; 22nd IN Inf
Just remember to keep it civil guys, it is humor, bad humor, but humor nonetheless.
__________________ Few take the trouble to understand or to view the American scene with perspective. And we Americans love to find ourselves guilty of something. However, it is never I who am guilty, but those other Americans, the past or present government or the other political party. Americans almost never find other countries guilty. It is always ourselves or our fancied influence in other countries. Louis L'amour
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