Campfire Chat - General DiscussionsThis is a forum for posting discussion topics, questions, current events, and anything else you'd like to chat about. Please post serious Civil War History threads in appropriate History Forums.
DJ
I've never met a GI that thought Jane Fonda was worth a good turd. That's from my 7 years, plus 10 in the Legion and add my childhood there as well. Jane Fonda has never made a secret of her hatred for the US soldier..
I'm an ex-GI, and I think Jane Fonda has more than atoned for any sin she may have committed during that ****able war.
Quote:
Originally Posted by johan_steele
Now lets get back to the subject of Military Humor; there is/was plenty of it.
Halleck 1) On taking command of the Department of Missouri Gen. Halleck was troubled by the open show of support for the Confederacy by some in St. Louis. Chief offenders were some women of the city who wore red rosettes as a sign of support for the rebels. Halleck ended that by buying several hundred rosettes and distributing them to the city's prostitutes.
Halleck 2) Later... after the victories at Henry and Donelson, IIRC... a jubliant Halleck said that any man found of the streets of St. Louis not dead drunk would be considered disloyal.
Halleck 3) Much-traveled Maj. Gen. A.J. Smith and his command had been bounced from Grant and Sherman to Banks for the Red River Campaign then after a stopover in Arkansas to Rosecrans to stave off Pap Price's last raid into Missouri. Now he and his orphan corps were going south to join Gen. E.R.S. Camby for the Mobile Campaign.
Smith wired Stanton "I am now without a heading or identity for my command. Unless I receive a number or name for my command I must style myself the Wandering Tribe of Israel."
Halleck responded "Continue on your exodus as the Wandering Tribe of Israel. On reaching the land of Canby you will have a number and a name."
I never would have guessed Old Brains had a sense of humor.
__________________ "There must be more historians of the Civil War than there were generals figthing in it... Of the two groups, the historians are the more belligerent." David Donald, Lincoln Reconsidered (1961)
I never would have guessed Old Brains had a sense of humor.
Not sure if Halleck was joking or not when he sent this to Sherman in Savannah.
"Should you capture Charleston, I hope that by some accident the place may be destroyed, and if a little salt should be sown upon its site, it may prevent the growth of future crops of nullification and secession."
Had to look this one up. Marine Version of Genesis
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests... and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)
On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.
But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He gave them evening and dress uniforms... sharp and stylish, handsome things... so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself in knowing that, well... not everybody can be a Marine!
__________________ I never knew a man who wished to be himself a slave. Consider if you know any good thing that no man desires for himself. A. Lincoln
CivilWarTalk.com -
A free and friendly Civil War community. 
Linear Mode
